unsure what to do

[Wednesday]

Hello,

When do you know a relationship is over?

[Wednesday]

Hello ducky!

Love the photo. I take cortisone all the time, but the more you take the more you need, aghh! Yes it is definitely not a good idea to get between me and the pantry at the moment. Emmy's lollies are all gone too.

I can't get my asthma under control at the moment, stirred up by the other stuff.

Baby steps for us all I guess. Hugs, xxx

[Emmy.]

Hey beautiful one 🙂 how are things going in your world?? I've missed you - sorry I've been slack at keeping up to date on your thread whilst I was away. Been meaning to say love your profile pic! Is that a photo from a trip you've been on? Have you been able to get your asthma under control and how are you travelling health wise. Hope you're doing ok hun. Hugs. Emmy xx

[Lost_Girl]

Dear Ava,

So sorry, I wrote a big reply but I must have exited before it finished posting...I sometimes have that happen when I am tired.

Not being able to get asthma under control must be frightening. I have never been that bad. I contacted whooping cough as an adult and had a bad case where I would cough and cough until I literally couldn't breathe in. Not being able to breathe lasted longer than I felt comfortable with and I would panic which made it worse. I had to learn to stay calm when it happened. Not being able to breathe properly is terrifying.

I do hope you improve soon lovely. I am so sorry you are having to go through so much. It always seems so unfair when bad things happen to good people.

I hope Happy is keeping you good company.

I really like your profile pic too. It is very serene.

Thinking of you,

Carol xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Emmy and Carol,

Thank you so much for your posts.

My health is not at all behaving it's not only the asthma (which until lately hadn't been diagnosed, stress the doctor said) but other problems too that intwine. You know the stuff meds for X makes Y happen, but without X my life is to minimal to bear. I still sound a bit like Darth Vador 🙂 so if you hear any odd noises around the forum or cafe it's just me trying to be quiet. I saw the doctor today and now have even more medications to take, oh well.

Emmy, no need to worry I just wanted you to have a lovely holiday. Yes the photo is looking toward the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, (I should have cropped it) I love San Francisco!

Carol, Happy was a little unimpressed by his 8am spa treatment yesterday and kept to himself most of the day until he felt better. He had gotten so woolly that I can hardly recognise his skinny 3.5kg frame. I missed him badly while in hospital. I ask for a cuddle and he will come over to be picked up, he stays close by most of the time.

I saw somewhere that you are thinking of having a dog join your household. Happy's is a non allergenic white fluffy RSPCA dog. They never seemed to advertise them, but did have them in the adoption center the day I went they had three. Maybe becasue they are vey popular.

That said I'm wondering if something a bit more robust would be better as a family dog. Happy is too little for children they are too rough and want him to be a teddy bear, but despite his size he is all dog. My grandson has grown up with a big dog currently about three times his size. His parents have been very clear that the dog is the bottom of the pack and he (the dog) is fine with that. Dog and grandson are best mates. Yes Grandson gets pulled into line from time to time by his parents if he gets too rough. I've had big dogs before that were incredibly gentle with babies.

A couple of thoughts, dog obedience training is a must for the whole family as of course is consistency. As a mum of three you would know all about that! Even suburban house dogs are often as smart as a 2 or 3 year old, which is fun, you can teach them all sorts of things e.g. Happy likes to play hide an seek and has a few tricks up his sleeve to impress. Anything part poodle seems to have a tendency to yap, but if you get a puppy you can do some training on that front. Health insurance is available that allows for as many vet visits as I want and I only pay for any medications.

Hugs, xx

[Lost_Girl]

Dear Ava,

Poor Happy not liking his spa treatment. I bet he's feeling cold but perhaps that means extra cuddles for you.

Thanks for that, I will go and look in person at the RSPCA and other rescue shelters in case they do have some. Good tip.

We have been waiting for our eldest to be able to be responsible and the youngest to be old enough to understand the rules. He is very rules based so I think we're ready. The types I have looked at to date are small to medium in size.

It's funny you mention about pack order. I have been conscious of this because I had a friend who struggled with their dog when their son got to the age of 3 and started having a bigger impact on the dogs space. It took them a long time to get the dog to understand the boy came first and had to be respected. The boy was terrified by the dog initially as it kept knocking him over and growling and barking at him.

Ah yes, health insurance. I will add that to my list. Thanks for the other tips.

Now more importantly, back to you. Things sound really bad at the moment. Have you been this bad before? What happens now if you don't mind me asking, are they waiting to see how this new lot of meds go? How are you feeling about all of this? You take such horrible things and tell us yet you always sound positive. While it is good I am guessing there are times when you feel sadness and anger, I know I would. Please know you are free to express that too if you need. There is also an Anger thread that Blue started if you want a big negative rant.

I am worried about you. I am not as eloquent as Sherie is caring for you but I mean well. I never needed to ask before as she was always so good at checking in with people.

Here for you xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Carol,

You are always gorgeous and I deeply appreciate your advice and support. I don't know what I would do without you and the forum.

My health is a mess, I always feel bad about complaining so many of us have health issues, you for example. You have a young family you are trying to manage as well as dealing with chronic pain, I'm old and have had a life :(.

In brief I have a number of chronic health issues. It looks like one of these has now reached my lungs, though the tests still need to confirm this. I am on a high dose off AD's that keep me fairly well in a neutral check position. It as though I see myself but am not part of myself. A trick I've used before to manage. The new meds will be cancelled if the lung thing is true, which will exacerbate the other diseases. The asthma meds are not working and I have very high doses of them. I should go back to the hospital, but can't. I'll try to see the doc tomorrow, maybe overnight things will start working.

It's been along hard life and I'm pretty well over it. I fear telling my whole story would make me sound like I was making it up. But this was meant to be my time. I survived childhood abuse of all kinds. I raised my children paid off my ex husbands debts when he sent our business into liquidation and then said he was unemployed. I was working (3 jobs) to look after my babies, so the debtors chased me even though we were divorced. My lawyer called it sexually transmitted debt! The story goes on about his continuing odd behaviour for the next 20 years.

My children are grown up, battle scarred by the life I gave them, I'm so sorry. If only I can go back and change things.

Finally I met P, who is a nice (passive aggressive) man but riddled with anxiety that I can only cope with when I am well and can escape from time to time. You know about the family stuff, all I wanted was a family, I would have made a good grandma. Would you believe they have now decided to hold Christmas at my/our house, I wasn't asked. As long as I am well enough I wont be here, I'll go and have Christmas interstate. But somehow I feel disrespected. Another fight with P.

It really is a mess isn't it.

Thank you for being the lovely person you are. I'm so sad we have lost Sherie, I hope she is okay and comes back one day.

Hugs, xx

[Emmy.]

I feel I should call you Ava... It's such a pretty name.

Hun can I just come and give you a big hug for a while. Sit with you. Make you a tea or coffee.

You've told me on my thread about the childhood abuse but I was unaware about the difficult times you had to experience when you were divorced.

It's made me cry reading about Christmas. Christmas is meant to be a time to come together. I hope you're in a place health wise that you can travel interstate and be with your family.

I'm just so sorry for all you've had to go through. No words just I'm sorry.

Big hugs to you Ava. Emmy xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Ava,

I'm sorry I wasn't around on the weekend for you. I know you'll tell me not to worry but I do, you are worth worrying about.

Every life is valuable, yes, even those who have had longer ones. It sounds like things are really bad right now and I feel lost for what to say. If I could I would give you a hug and a shoulder to lean on.

Did you get into the dr? How long do you have to wait for the results.

You are such a gentle soul Ava and so generous with your time helping people here. To hear only a portion of what you have been through and what you endure now seems so unfair. Of course I will believe you but I shall still feel for you with what you have been through.

It sounds like you have done the very best that you could given what you had in life. I hope your children will realise this.

I am happy you are safe with P but wish he treated you as you deserve. I was very saddened to hear about Christmas. The very time you should feel loved and happy in your home, and yet you feel you have to leave. P should be thinking of your health right now and not even considering you leaving your home. It is disrespectful especially given how unwell you are. If I were you I would tell him that you're not going anywhere so he better tell the family to get there act together and be nice to you in your home, and include presents for you out of respect that you are his chosen partner.

Have you any things in life that make you feel really happy? Other than people mine is the Theatre. I get such a buzz watching theatre productions that I generally get tears in the first 10 minutes just from overwhelming happiness. Is there anything for you lovely? Something you could plan for when you next feel well.

I know that Sherie cared for you very much. You were very special to her and if she were here she would be worrying over you like I am.

There just aren't the words to express how I feel. I hope things pick up soon dear Ava.

Wishing you a good rest,

Carol xx

[Wednesday]

Thank you lovelies, back in Hospital for few days. 2 ambulance ride in two weeks! Hope you're all as well as possible. I'll get back to you all later.

hugs, xx

[Emmy.]

Oh Hun ... You doing ok?? (Well that sounds silly, you're in hospital) but are you doing ok there? Is it due to your lungs? Sorry for all the questions - no need to answer them. Just know I'm thinking of you. xxxxxx Lots of love to you