unsure what to do

[Wednesday]

Hello,

When do you know a relationship is over?

[Wednesday]

Hi Emmy,

Thank you for your kind words, I'm still breathing. That was quite a mess of words wasn't it. I guess you can only hold on for so long before it all falls out. Lucky thatI have you all to listen to my ramble.

I don't have doctor appointment, I am on the highest does of AD's already. She only works Tuesday and Thursday, so it'll have to be the week after next.

Thank you for wiping away my tears and your care. I hope you're okay Emmy.

Love and hugs, xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Carol,

It's odd isn't it one day looking after millions of dollars and staff now I can't type straight to make a decision.

You're right my daughter would do anything to help me. She is strong and has dealt with a lot in her life too. She has such a busy life and lives in a different state it stresses her and makes her sad when/if I talk to her. There is no room for me to stay with them so that's not an option.

I can't see a way out, every area of my life seems to be so complicated. I hope your feeling bit better.

Thank you for being there for me.

Love and hugs, xx

[Lost_Girl]

How about a mind map as a starting point? There are free versions on the web and you can jot down all the different concerns and keep breaking them down. Once you have that look at your possible solution for each then rate how likely each can be resolved using heat colours on the map, red, amber, green. Then perhaps in a glance options that seemed impossible may not be.

Perhaps your daughter's visit or a holiday on the central coast may provide some clarity? Perhaps a break away will let you know if you miss P too much to leave or not.

Life is too short xx

[Wednesday]

Hi Sherie,

Yes, it all became too much, one of those final straw situations. I am still breathing, counting. I do have sleeping tablets, that I take every now and again. Really I have good range of medications I just don't like taking them. But as my doctor said addiction is the least of my problems. I think it's hitting me that nothing has actually worked I am not going to be able to stop the progress of this disease so what happens on a day to day basis is really important.

I tried speaking to P, easier in the day I sad I was feeling really sad, he ignored it. Last night we did our ritual of listening to his day, anxieties and childhood issues, this one was about being a teenager. I realised that I have said more on this forum than to anyone else. So I tried to add in a story of my own. He stood up as though the matter was over. I asked his reaction to my story, he said he was listening. He wasn't he went to organise something to watch on TV. I can't recall really what was said next, I wouldn't have gotten angry but I would have backed off (because that's what I do). He said that I just wanted to be offended and was trying to pick a fight. I wish my memory was better, but I doubt very much that I was trying to pick a fight. That stuff is too hard for me to talk about even the easier story I told him.

I am so looking forward to seeing my grandson, I won't see much of my daughter since she will be working and getting home late. P will be passively difficult though, as he has been every other time.

Thank you for your kind words, I don't think there is much anyone can do. Your words always help.

Love and hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

I'm sorry Wednesday, that must be really hard.

And despite P saying that he is committed to this relationship, it sounds dreadfully one-sided to me. Yeah, even to me! (-:

I think both of us know that our current relationships are not prividing either of us with what we need or crave. Love, affection, understanding, patience, give and take. Some or all of that seems to be missing.

And both of us, for our own very legitimate and personal reasons, are currently unable to move on.

All I can say is to urge you to take care of yourself as best you can. Push yourself to do things you enjoy. Try not to allow the hurt from P's family rejection affect you. Make things as easy as you possibly can, under obviously very difficult circumstances.

I hope you are able to spend some talk time with your daughter while she is visiting. And of course it will be fabulous to see your little grandson.

I know you are hurting, both physically and emotionally. And I wish I could take some of that away. But as you say, there is nothing any of us can do to really help. Other than to always be here when you need an ear.

I am here for you Ava.

Sherie xx

[Wednesday]

Thank you dear Sherie, I'm so grateful for your and everyone else support.

You're right you nailed it we are doing the best we can. I can't type much at the moment and I am hopeless at the voice dictation program.

I am doing the best I can and pushing myself as hard as possible. I think I will need to take more of the tablets, but I guess that doesn't matter and the warmer weather is coming, which will help too.

It's useless to try and talk he will win every time.

I'm picking daughter and grandson up this evening, can't wait for those hugs.

Thank you so much for your understanding and love.

WE can so this! Please take good care of yourself.

Love and hugs, xx

[Guest_5218]

Good on you! And yes, we can both do this .......... xx

Have the best time with your little grandson's visit. And I hope you get to have a real heart-to-heart with your daughter. I would urge you to do so. She is strong, caring and wants to help you in any way possible. She would want to know what is going on with you. She would want to help you, and to see you happy.

Dont try to do too much in preparation for the visit, take things easy and relax as much as possible. Your hands will be very full once they arrive. Please take care.

Sherie xx

[Emmy.]

By now your daughter and grandson will be with you and I hope this is filling your heart with a lot of love. I'm sorry I've not messaged in a couple of days. Just wanted to see how you're doing and let you know I always hold you in my thoughts and heart. Em x

[Emmy.]

Hi Hun. Just checking how you're doing. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hoping it just means you're having lots of fun with your daughter and grandson. Missing you Wednesday. Love Emmy xx

[james1]

Hey Wednesday, also checking in to make sure you're doing okay!

Much love

James