(Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed
Hi frank i guess there comes a time in one's life were we think why is this happening to me what have i done so bad that i deserve to be treated by my country so poorly i have worked since the age of 14 paid taxes an in a time were i need some help to overcome my overwhelming amount of issues there not there ,my good friend is the only reason im still here i could not give up when he is unbelievably supportive he does not no it but i owe my life to him i will tell him one day and this is not the first time he has unknowingly saved me i have way to much respect for him and love being around him what can you do to repay someone off that nature its so rare and even though i don't have blood family support i dont even no of a family come to think of it that helps there loved ones the way my friend helps me i no im so lucky and greatfull and do feel for those who truly have nobody in there lifes looking out for them , i just am waiting now to see the outcome for my application for dsp so i can pay for my treatment overseas would like to do emdr apparently it can help and has helped alot of war veterans overcome or at least manage there ptsd without having to resort to taking antidepressants which i will never be taking again once i get better i will then dedicate my life to helping others a specially children that is what i do believe is my lifes purpose and the reason why I survived my horrific injuries they told me its a miracle that i managed to hang on so long bleeding out for 25 minutes untill help arived i didnt no this until couple weeks ago when my two friends attended the accused sentencing the judge read out that i had 1 lt off blood drained from my left lung never mind what was on the six flights of stair i ran down and were i laid whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive i do remember trying to slow down my heart rate the blood was everywhere squirting out between my fingers as i was putting pressure on the open hole in my chest it was frightening thinking no i cant go like this no one i no is here i did however manage to call a friend whom i have known since i was 13 but i do not recall it but he was there in icu gently tapping me on the shoulder as i was coming to after having life saving surgery well i guess its my obligation now to help save others( children) and make my friend's and myself proud im going to put my heart and soul on the line to make a difference in the world we live in today
Regards and best wishes
Jase, just a snappy post to validate EMDR. A couple of my mates have done EMDR and it has been highly effective for them. I did exposure therapy which worked for me but didn't work for other mates.
I am certainly hoping that you get some good joo joo coming your way soon.
After what you have been through and what you are currently going through, you more than deserve to get thrown some good vibes by life.
Your mate sounds like a brilliant person, much respect to both you and him.
I’m a stranger to you but have been reading along. I’m an ex-policeman, one who did not manage to get back into the job and had to find something else. I was never injured physically like you. Like Mark it was visual and circumstances. I am amazed that you had the practical idea of slowing your heart and pressing on the wound – wow that’s thinking under fire!
I think from all you’ve said and been though Kaz is right and you show strength.
You’ve made the step of coming here and have kept coming. I really hope you’re getting something from the people here – they’re good folks who have been down hard paths and now can tell the tale.
You've had it about as tough as it gets my friend, but looking at what you have been saying three things stand out. Firstly you have a real friend. Secondly there is something you find good – the ocean. Thirdly you have a plan for the future – recovery then helping kids.
All those are gold and you’ve thought of them while in a very bad place. When I got really ill I was convinced I was a great burden to my family and there was nothing left for me and I just about gave up.
I was wrong. At the time, although I did not really realise it, my thinking was way off – that’s one of the symptoms. Sure I gave my family a hard time, but they continued to be there for me, just as it sounds like your mate is for you – real mates help each other, it’s part of what being a mate is about.
There also was something left for me – a great deal as it happens – I’m happy I’m alive!
Like you there was something I enjoyed and took me out of things – in my case it was reading kids’ books – sounds silly but it got me through. The point is it does not matter what the thing is as long as there is something that helps, at least part of the time.
I’m old now (getting close to 70) and while I’m not cured a lot of what happened, the fear, the worry, is mostly far away in time and I’m able to enjoy life and be useful and take great pleasure from what I do. I went back to study and then went on to help students learn.
Because what happened to me was so long ago the treatments at the time were not as good as they are now thought the doctors and psychiatrists I had were honest, reliable and tried hard for me. You really do have a chance at better things and you’re sure due for a change in luck.
Take care of yourself and sing out whenever you like
Hello Croix's sorry to here off your trauma it must have been terrible you no i believe it takes alot to overcome mental trauma way more than physical i now this from being beating buy my stepfather on a regular basis it was the things he has said to me as a yong boy that have stuck with me throughout my life right up till now as i right this post so i dont believe any one has the right to judge anyone on there progress to recovery some wounds may need may never heal physical ones do 6 weeks for a brocken bone 1-2 weeks for a bad cut you get whst im saying some people loose there mother or father as if they never existed others are left with a broken heart for the rest of there lives i will never get over the loss of my father when i was 17 and being denied my right to attend his funeral buy my stepfather and not backed up buy my mother to attend his funeral and what my stepfathers brother did to me whilst being baby sitted buy him .i was at the time actually stabbed at the place so called safe place hostel whilst receiving counseling for that very issue pstd sexuaul abuse and arange of other traumatic experiences from a very dysfunctional upbringing i just hope that i can recover and have a genuine smile on my face one day it seams to be off great help just getting things off my chest without hearing people say get over it so i thank you all for your empathy its really if anything giving me insite on how to go about full filling my dream off helping others a specially young abused children i dont think you can learn what we have all been though buy reading books so we are all specially gifted in our own way thankyou all once again
Hi Mark hope your well and your buddy is recovering good that you could be there for him like you mentioned its a fine line please dont push it to far last thing your friend needs is to see you relapce i gather your strong fella and no when to take tome out hence the time out of the forom well done mate i need your advice to and have started smiling mind program still have not recieved any help as far as professional help is concerned so thanks for the tip mindfulness you have been very helpful and yes i no i am extremely very lucky to have a friend support me and let me no even though its time for me to move on that he is there for me it does not get any better than that as far as friendship is concerned in my opinion
The surf is up tomorrow im heading down at first light 3 ft offshore can not wait to catch few waves
Best of luck on your travels
Jase, thanks for the words - appreciate it.
I am exceptionally lucky that I have had a dream run in recovery and I almost feel guilty that I had it so good and even then it was so hard to recover so i cannot even imagine what this journey has been and what it continues to be like for you.
There are other mindfulness apps around so maybe try a few different ones?
Have a great surf mate. I think that is going to be the best mindfulness for you, Just you, your board, the water and the waves. Friggin awesome.
Hi Mark Hope your well buddy i finally free of guilt of feeling a burden to my friends
Im happier now than ever im living at the beach sleeping on the back off my ute watch the moon set last night awesome woke up and went for 2hr surf got heap of barrels didnt make it outoff any waves dont have much shape her im in a cave at trigg point with my buddy we just had chicken rolls and i just went for swim and fresh water shower felling at one with the universe .
Best wishes Mark, regards jason
You sound so much more grounded now, I guess it was a wise move to go to the beach with your buddy. It mightn't cure everything but it sure sounds like it's being a real help.
I reckon you're only partly right about broken hearts not mending. I've had some - the loss of my career, my daughter-in-law passing away from leukemia while young and later on my first wife dying too.
Lots of time, fresh people, fresh experiences, luck and true friends all made the rage and pain get less until I could look back on what was taken from me without the same hurt. Sure there's regret but healing has taken place and other things are important to me now as well.
I'll think of you catching the perfect wave every now and then.
Jase, absolutely pumped for you with that last post. That is just so incredibly positive, it makes me smile massive. The feeling of calmness being in the back of the ute looking up into the sky must have been very relaxing. Love the stars and sky. Trips me right out and one of the more powerful mindfulness exercises i do. Love it.
Being free of guilt - don't underestimate how powerful that is. A huge step in the right direction and well done for being able to do that. Never ever forget that you deserve to be peaceful and free of guilt with your mates. I know that PTSD clouds this huge but for you to move over that, outstanding.
Dude, awesome post - just brilliant. So excited for what the future holds for you. A long road yes, but your road is looking better and better each day.
Well done mate.
Thanks heaps would love one day to be able to catch up and thank you all in person i no i have a long way to go and there are some changes im working on changing in my life i just dont want to be to hard on myself so its one step at a time last thing i need is to be feeling like i have failed im doing my best and im so glad that there are people like yourselves out therethat understand what control ptsd can have over our lives i will be truly happy one day i can feel it coming
Best wishes jason