FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Trapped in supported accommodation

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I have various people on my team supposedly helping through my depression, and other issues I have. They requested I go into a care facility for a one month stay. Which I agreed to fully expecting to return home about one month after. As soon as I mover in to the place there attitudes changed. All of a sudden I had to stay in the supported accommodation. Because I was not going to be supported in my home. Even though the support I need is available from various agencies. Around Melbourne by various counsels or privet agencies. Providing attendant care and home help. I believe I should be eligible for funding for disability. I have raised this with the people who are my advisers. But get caned every time I am not consulted. About the decision I am told just sit back do as we say. When your ready we will help more then. The plan i am not consulted on it's not working it's just stagnating. My family are no help. I am that fed up where I am. I am rely contemplating ending it all my life has no meaning in here. Just a worthless piece of meat that gets treated like a 3 year old. I know a warehouse full of stuff. That no one can now use. I cannot help anyone in here not even myself I'm not aloud.

Kanga

273 Replies 273

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Kanga~

I would be hopeless at advising you on practical matters to get your situation sorted, so I'll say that at the start so you don't expect the wrong thing from his post.

I can do a couple of things. The first - as you would expect - is to tell you how much you are valued here buy an awful lot of people. You are valued for the unique person you are, with your blend of serious, kindness and fun.

When I've looked at posts that upset me, or when the brain has gone on strike due to internal gloom and I sit there blankly looking at a post and wondering why I can't say anything I can head to the two threads you dominate and feel refreshed straight away. I see the silly fun and feel better - even if I do not post - which I ought to do more. It may seem trivial or even frustrating to you, it is a boon to me and others.

Some posters, even long term ones, tend to take a lesser role as time goes on - you remain a constant, reliable, there.

As we get older (and I've done that rather a lot:) our lives change. The things we used to excel at are no longer easy - or not possible. Tuning the car -a standard male life skill - is now bogged down in spaghetti wiring and chips controllers. Kids have left the nest and now regard parents with amused affection - if one is lucky. And so it goes on. Ability, occupation and respect have to naturally move into fresh areas.

I can't do the physical things I did, I'm not as up to date in my field as I should be. but I'm reasonably content as I'm steering a younger person using my life experience as a potential replacement in my area. I find it good and there is relief in not stretching to try to keep up

You do knew a warehouse full of stuff, much of it practical, an awful lot of it bound up in entertainment and fun. You know the majority of Goon Show episodes, many just about by heart, Yes Minister is no stranger to you, and a whole swag more. This is a great thing - please don't underestimate it.

Apart from dealing with your situation I would be most surprised if there is not a niche where you can find respect and usefulness (you have already achieved much here). There are whole skits, programs and books you could write or recount just to name one thought off the top of my head.

I'd like to regard you as a friend

Croix

Fiasco
Community Member

Kanga, for what it's worth, I would miss you. You have touched so many lives here on the forums. Thank you. I'm so so so sorry to hear the awful time you're having. I have no words to offer as consolation or to talk you out of things. All I can say is, I'm here, and I'm thinking of you. And whatever positive energy exists in the universe, I'm doing my best to send it your way to support you through this. I can't say I know how you feel, because I'm not you, but I have felt hopeless, overwhelmed, unnecessary and powerless. As much as it means coming from an anonymous stranger, please please please be safe.

Fi

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Because of the agency involved I keep telling them I wish to go home. They indicate the help I require which I cannot afford, and they aren't willing to pay for. So I am trapped in here. I am also a people person, I need contact with people. None of that in here. No family members visit not even my children. No friends, acquaintances on one not even to advise or share information with. Hell I cannot even go to a church if I wanted to. I have nothing in here. All I have is Beyond Blue I am restricted in what I can do in here. Plus it's limited in what I am aloud because of privacy. Which is for all of our protection.

The only reason I know a lot of 'yes minister' is because I have worked in the public circus ( Service). Having to deal with ministers. They come in wanting things done there way. Which don't work. Because of the way the department is structured it wont work there way. Because they are protecting there cushy jobs.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Kanga~

Yes I've an idea of your situation from reading that thread Paul started. Being on the end of institutional neglect is a horrible thing.

I've no idea what resources you have, or even if you can move around. I'm lucky in that I can get around with only marginal disability. All I do know is you have a computer and a sense of humor.

I remember one time years ago when I was going hough a rough patch I tried to distract myself by trying to learn music. This was something I'd never had a go at. As a youth I'd sung in a classical environment but never attempted to learn an instrument. I did not have much cash so I bought a secondhand keyboard plus headphones from a thrift shop for a very few dollars (I think the batteries were more) and started.

I know that nowadays you can get programs like Virtual Keyboard for free that let you use you computer as a piano. I found it very difficult as I had no coordination or any real musical sense. That was all to the good and kept me thinking and frustrated with my efforts. Eventually I could pick out the melody of some things (mainly waltzes). It stopped when my life changed.

I'm not suggesting you try to fill all your time with anything like that, just it might be a distraction to work out frustrations on sometimes.

Think it might be any good?

Croix

Hey I really don't know if we have properly met,

Have read a lot of stuff from you,

I know you are in a black hole,and I feel for you.

I haven't been on here for long but I see you are a major player and I would like to Thankyou

Hang in there,you of all know this will pass.

Later

topsy_
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Kanga

I haven't written to you directly before but I have read a lot of your posts & admired your opinions.

If I was in your position I would be mad as hell!! I'd feel tricked & abandoned. For the life of me I can't work out why the powers that be can't take your wishes into account.

I was under the impression that the government wants us to live at home & have services come in each day to help us. It's cheaper for them that way!!

Is there any way you can challenge whoever thinks they have the right to make decisions about your life? Maybe a solicitor??

In the meantime do you have any hobbies you could do to pass the time of day? When I feel stumped for things to do, I ask Google. Like "what kind of things can I do to fill in my free time each day?" You can ask much better & more specific questions that suit you better.

I play a lot of card games on my iPad & iPhone. I've also been doing jigsaws too using the same. But I'm not a people person like you.

I dont know if I have been any help Kanga. I have to say I'm decidedly unimpressed with this growing old business. It's not much chop at all.

Wishing you well, Lyn.

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Dear Kanga,

I am so sad to read your post and hear of what is really happening there. I Feel so helpless to help you. Can they really keep you there against your will?

Kanga, I would miss you so much if you were not here. You are my cheer squad, my friend,you keep things going here with your sense of humor and your wit. There is no other like you. It would be so empty here without you.

I wish i could help,make you feel better, give you hope. Is there an ombudsman you could write to, someone, anyone?

cmf

CMF
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Yelling wnanna mentioned a solicitor. What about legal aid?

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Kanga

Im sincerely sorry that you are in this dark place right now. As said above you are a highly respected part of the Beyond Blue Family. You bring light to so many people's lives on the forums Kanga.

What is the expected turnaround to see a mental health care worker at the moment?

Hugs

Paul