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Thinking about death.... all the time...
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Hi all
I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts
My new GP is amazing
He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution
Could he be right?
Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.
And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.
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hey all,
thank u for writing
woke up aain feeling crappy and also on edge.
Not much to look forward to and feel like i'm always waiting for something to keep me going. Feeling :(.
So frustrated about this stuck, heavy feeling and no energy at all, like i've been waiting for something that isn't happening.
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Hey Sleepy,
I know that feeling. It sucks.
I wonder.....physical movement is really good at moving heavy stuck energy. It's the hardest time to do anything, usually, but exactly when you feel least like it can be most beneficial.
Any chance you could make a new routine? One which involved getting up and going for a quick walk around the block? Clothes to get into easily and warmly, on a chair near your bed, could help to make it easier.
Even 5 star jumps (LOL! When last did anyone do star jumps??) Can help get the blood pumping and change the mood.
This is the time when new habits could really change how you experience life.
For me, I tend to feel lethargic in the morning. In my bad times, just getting up was the chief hurdle of the day. One day I discovered that the only thing I was looking fwd to was having my marmalade toast and cuppa for breaky. I use this consciously now.
This reminds me of watching my d training the dog, using treats/dry food to get him to obey. Seems like my dog and I have that in common! Food is our motivator!
We have to retrain the brain.
A statement that you believe, like, I'm getting better, life is getting better for me.... Can help to rewire from those old negative cycles.
Does that make sense Sleepy?
We're your cheer squad, cheering you on! Go Sleepy, yeah yeah yeah!!!
Love and hugs,
J*
Ps You could think of a reward to encourage you to keep up with the new habit. Like, when I've done the walk, I can relax in front of the tv (or wherever) and have my breaky. Or snack. Be prepared to indulge yourself at first, It's hard to change our habits!!
xx
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Hello lovely Sleepy
I'm sorry you feel this way. I can relate too. Wish I couldn't. Wish no-one had to feel like that ever. I do agree with J that if you could manage a walk it might help. I've probably asked before (sorry!) but do you meditate or practice belly breathing? It could help reduce that on edge feeling you've mentioned.
Big hugs from me and Stormy. You're such a lovely human. Hate to see you struggle.
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Hi Sleepy,
Sorry you're having a rubbish day. Is there anything you can do as a treat for yourself, like a cuppa take away and have sitting somewhere nice? I do things like that when I feel yuk, sometimes just being outdoors is a help.
Hope your day improves and tomorrow... sending hugs your way. oxoxo
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Hey Sleepy, my last post was gobbled up so sorry about that!
I'm sorry to hear about how you've been feeling. No surprises really, you're dealing with A LOT. Like a real lot.
My last post congratulated you for getting the help you needed. I also said that I'm really proud of you!
It takes a lot of courage to seek help on an ongoing basis.
You're very courageous.
I've been enjoying some new programs on ABC iView, have you seen any good shows lately?
Love Always
EMxxxx
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hey all
j i followed your advice, i didn't get to do much at th epark but i sat and walked gently and had a hot drink
i ended up pretty down last night and went to the ED at the hospital
They give me a calming medicatio to rest which will kick in soon
i was so so so lucky
i had an amazing nurse and then female doctor see me and from the moment i came in to the moment i left i felt safe. i know many don't have that experience. or maybe some do. it was nice to be cared for by women. it was nicer. Thre were hardy any men there AT ALL. welcome to the future, ladies.
Just joking, men are great too, but having a female doctor was kinda nice.
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Hi Sleepy,
I'm really glad you had a positive and comforting experience with the ladies at the hospital. It sounds like it made a difference to your night.
Its amazing how good company can lift our spirits which by the sounds of things you really needed.
As humans just by our presence we can really gift those in need and it shouldn't be underestimated.
Here's to hoping your healing journey is made smoother by people that really care as it makes the world of difference with blessings along the way.
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Thanks Monkey i know you have empthy and I needed to read that today. It was a positive experience and okay, I got what I needed and left. I thought it would be worse there but it was helpful for me lsat night and I left in better shape than I came in. They listened and didn't push me out the door.
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Hey all, thanks, it is hard to struggle, a lot sometimes!
My house is a disaster, i started the day making my bed and also moving this drawer which was annoying me. Lucky it has wheels. A small thing like wnting to move somethign in my house but not having anyone to help me can push me over the edge some days, make me so sad. I remember likng this one because it's on wheels. I successfully moved it out of the corner of my bedroom and into the lounge area so that was a good achievement for me today.
I had a beautiful hot drink and went to the park for a bit and am okay. I haven't eaten anything and might get mysef a sandwih somewhere or just buy some bread.
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Hey EM 🙂
thank u for that it makes me feel so much better about the effort and attempts i make, even though not all are successful, to try and stay well
i apprecite it
everything has felt like a lot and i can't find strength some days
i have to keep it really simple atm
i go to the park to be in nature and watch feel-good movies from the "feel-good" section on netflix recommends. or sometimes i choose "shuffle" to give me something outside of my world-view - a show that isn't all doom and gloom.
I watched Skatergirl on Netflix which was beautiful and am now watching Green Book.
🙂 Thanks for the rec!
