Thinking about death.... all the time...

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts

My new GP is amazing

He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution

Could he be right?

Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.

And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.

[Boudica]

Hey J*,

Thanks for the tip RE: women's health centres, I just checked and they have one quite close to me. THANKS

[Guest_1643]

hi all

sorry and really unintentional if i didn't reply properly or missed anyone out earlier, i had a lot going on but no excuse!

Gorgeous J , are u okay?? How are u feeling?

[Matchy69]

Hi Sleepy I am hoping you doing ok that restrictions have eased.Thinking of you.

Take care,

Mark.

[Guest_1643]

hi mark, getting ur check in made me so happy - i'm also happy to hear u back as was worried about u. So sorry u have been in hospital.

Sorry if I don't reply quickly to messages atm, i'm feeling very unsafe and struggling.
I'm grateful for ur check in.

Im really happy the restrictions have eased and recently bit less intense rules about mask-wearing.

[Guest_1643]

hi everyone!

mark lovely to see u here as was worried to read u were in hospital and going through a tough time. hope ur doing okay.

thanks for checking in

sorry for delay in writing and also i can see now looking back i didn't respond properly to messages, really really apologise if i hurt anyone's feelings.

Wasn't feeling so well or safe and am still struggling a bit with SI.

So happy the lockdowns over, that was horrible for me unfortunately and I did spend a few days in hospital as well.

Thank u for checking in on me and thanks so much for everyone who wrote ur messages gave me a real boost and i'm going to check them

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sleepy21,

We are sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well or safe and that you have been struggling with SI. We can imagine this must be so overwhelming for you. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it

[Hanna3]

Hi Sleepy,

So sorry to hear you've been feeling so down. I wonder what triggered this. I hope you pick up again soon and get help if you need it won't you? I'm sure lots of people here will come by and give you support. Sending hugs and warmest wishes from little Sam and me here! You will be OK! hugs!

[ecomama]

Dearest Sleepy

Sorry you've been feeling low recently, we love you so much, no one cares how you respond, as long as we know you're safe!
We just want to know you're okay.

I'm really proud of you reaching out and receiving the support you need to get through.
So proud of you our wonderful girl.

It's been so cold here lately, how's the weather down there in our bravest of all states?

I'm also relieved the lock downs are over for now for you all there, what a palaver.

Wishing you all the very best and lots of warm, furry hugs from all the fur and feather babies here and me too ofcourse!

Love Always
EMxxxx

[Jstar49]

Hey Sleepy,

I’m so much better, thanks for asking. It feels good to be able to do simple chores and make food. Walking the dog!

I’m still tiring easily tho, so taking it easy.

you said you’re feeling unsafe and struggling- I’m so sorry to hear that Sleepy 🥲

is there anything which helps, when you feel like that?

darling girl, YOU ARE AWESOME! You’re so very caring about others, and usually very present and alert to what’s going on for you and others. If you’re not, then we know that somethings going on!
I have missed our chats. I’m just feeling a bit snowed under, and only popping in here sporadically.
when I was sick I couldn’t stand wearing my glasses, so no reading or computer at all.
Thanks for saying hi- it’s nice to know you’re there, and reading my words.
I’m feeling a bit blue about my family. More time to think I guess. It’s easy to feel alone. And I guess I start feeling worthless. Not good!

I think I’ll be glad to go back to work!
trying to motivate myself to finish my knitting project. I know it will be great to have it finished, so I must just keep on with it. Sheer determination!

Stay warm and I hope you start feeling better again soon.

Big Hugs,

J*

[Guest_1643]

hi Bou, i think having something genetically in family can make it scarier!

i'm always worried that i'm going to just be exactly like the ppl in my family but hopefully we can be different!

That GP was so disgusting 😞 My family members still see him which is very triggering.
He was very dismissive of me and at one point told me I was pretty so I shouldn't be depressed. He said I should look in the mirror and tell myself other women envy my appearance.
i was like 20.
Creep, much? I think he made things very hard for me.

I'm doing okay atm and thank u so much for writing. I didn't think ppl were around or reading and felt very horrid. Thanks so much ur post helped me brighten.