Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[Cesca1557]

hey m,

yea it was quite a lot of lectures although i have a lot more to do now from this week 😕 i swear its never ending!
but yes it has been pretty interesting, yesterday in pharmacology we actually had a lecture on antidepressants so it was interesting to learn a bit more about them and the different types of ones that there are.
thats good to hear you have been been feeling better, even if it is more about your gut than mental health, hopefully with your IBS improving, it will be one less stressor and now the meds will help your mood. you may have to switch meds if it isnt really helping your mood though, one of my friends said she changed three times until she found the right one that really helped.
but wow 10 weeks! thats so good! i almost at 3 weeks so only just started, and havent really had any positive benefits either. dont get me wrong i do have good moments/days, but i have been feeling very numb, sad and empty for the majority of the last week which has been really tough.
hope you are doing okay! ill get around to posting on your thread hopefully tomorrow, sorry ive been so absent this week.

[Cesca1557]

thanks pepper!
yes it was good to catch up on lectures although ive already watched 8 more for this week that i have to now write up notes for 😕 which will become 11 by the end of the week. i swear its never-ending! haha
how have you been?

c xx

[Cesca1557]

hey KMTE,

sorry it took a while to reply, ive been feeling a bit off and out of it lately so havent felt ready to reply to anything (not sure why) but have been reading all the threads.
ive been okay, pretty average to be honest but okay. my grandfather actually passed away this evening which has been very upsetting and incredibly distressing for my mum. i was having a very tough numb day today so that kind of shocked me out of it and put things into perspective. im just not sure what i can do to help her, i really want to do anything i can!

still havent really experienced any positive benefits of the ads although im only about 3 weeks in so not expecting to see anything yet.
hope you have had a nice day
sending big hugs

[Pysis]

Hi c

i completely understand not wanting to have a relationship with your dad and not loving him. I'm the same with my dad I honestly don't give two hoots about him anymore, I was the same as you I wood up for him as a kid and I really did love him but there is only so many times you can let one person down and he let me down way to many times and hurt me way to many times and I really don't have the forgiveness in my heart to give him another chance. He wants to have more to do with me but I don't want to have anything to do with him plus he hasn't acknowledged the fact that what he did was wrong so. My brothers are the same as your brother they tell me I need to try and forgive him and stop hating him but I can't they are only young and haven't had to put up with him and pick up the pieces like I have.

i hope your ok

thinking of you

Nath

[startingnew]

no need to apologise. Ive been the same way sometimes too and I think omg I cant help anyone and ill be judged and a heap of other thoughts its not true ok. We all have our bad days.


Im glad you were able to get to your gp appointment. Yeah sometimes it can take a while for the Ads to kick in, they will formulate a good paln for you when the time comes. Hopefully youll see the benefits if not they might be increased but thatll have to be discussed with your gp.
I wish I could give you a big bear hug too it sounds like you need it.


Im hearing you on the migraines. I often have headaches from lack of sleep or stress. They are casued tension headaches and are a pain in the backside to get rid of. When I had my car accident I had them for a week straight and then bad headcahes for the week after that. They are shocking.


Just abit of advice though.. when you have headaches limit your screen time. The strain it casues on your eyes can actually make it worse. Its better to just lay there and rest and sleep in a dark quiet room.


Im so sorry for your loss, I really am. I know how hard it is. Please take the time you need to grieve as well. Your mother was obviously closer but you still matter just as much ok. Check in here and we can chat any time. I understand grief and its a process ok.

sending lots of hugs your way

xoxoxoxox

[KMTE]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that! I'm not sure what you can do for your mother except be there for her. Thinking of you during this hard time

[Cesca1557]

hey sn,
thankyou that means a lot

she said that at 6 weeks if i havent seen more improvements then i can go onto a higher dose as im on a low dose at the moment so its good knowing there is an option.
oh wow that sounds horrible! did the doctors tell you how to get rid of the headaches? hopefully they subside with a bit of time!!
i only get occular migranes so i dont get the headaches, i just lose my vision. so yes i do stop using screens as i cant see them haha. usually i lie down in bed or try to have a nap until they have gone away and i can see better again.
it happened once during an exam at uni! but luckly it only affected half of my vision so i closed one eye and read and answered the test just looking through the other, definitely not ideal but had to make do haha

thankyou, it hasnt quite felt real yet as he lives interstate so would only see him once maybe twice a year for a few weeks, but im sure when we fly over during the weekend, it will feel more real as we will be at their house so will miss his presence.
thankyou, i know ive said it before but it really does mean a lot

thanks so much KMTE,

yes im definitley trying to be there as much as possible for mum, although she leaves to go interstate to spend time with her mum and her other siblings who are also heading over there, so i wont see her for a few days until we go and join her.

thankyou, i appreciate it so much

[startingnew]

Hi Cee


yeah thats standad practice for medications.
The only way I got relief from my migraines and it was only slight and that was to take very very strong migraine specific medications and had to take them twcie a day for the entire week!
A lot of the time tension headaches can be releived with some pain releif medications however avoiding screens, loud music, reading as it too casues eye strain and doing some relaxing things like having a bubble bath, going for a gentle walk. I find putting heat on my neck really helps as well

[swtpotato]

Hey C,

(I'm on a structured study break so not procrastinating, just so you know)

I meant I had been on the half dose for 6 weeks, and the standard for 4 weeks of that 6 weeks - so 6 altogether. But I am supposed to only count the 4 (which is now like 5). Yeah I would wait 6 weeks for improvements. At the same time you may not notice the really gradual background improvements - e.g. for me: finding it slightly easier to talk to people, being able to choose to think positively at times, ruminating doesn't last as long or not as loud, more connection to past. All slight and come and go, but maybe when you think back to before you started you'll notice more change, or not, just have to wait and see.

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather. Probably still feels a bit numb and shocking rather than properly sad. Try not to have expectations on how you should/will feel and same goes for your family, grief is completely different to other sad events I find, always affects us in unexpected ways. Especially when already numb/depressed, makes it harder to process it. Just wondering and don't have to give me details -- is this the first close death you have experienced?

How are you going today?

m

[Pysis]

Hi C

hows your day been?

sending hugs

Nath