Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[startingnew]

When things get tough Cee tell yourself 'this too shall pass; and realy listen to it even if you dont believe it just keep thinking it ok.
Yes please keep your gp appointment, use them for when your psychologist isnt avaliable as well. Dont be afraid to ask for the extra help ok.


The thing with acknowledging your feelings is that thats just what it is you could be sitting in te lounge room sitting with a heap of people and your start getting different feelings its pretty much saying ' I feel like crap, but thats ok, they are just feelings'


it took me a very long time and a lot of practice to be able to do this so dont be too hard on yourself if you dont get throught he first few the more you practice the better youll get.
If your stuck just come online and ill help you through it, ill try my best to guide you through the feelings without denying but not freaking out either.


When I now have my panic attacks some of them no one would know im having one. My hearts racing I cant breathe, chest tight, shaking but my composure you wouldnt know im having one.
Theres been many a time ive been in the lounge room having one and not one person has noticed.


Its not about acting on them during those times, its about acknowleding they are there, they are real and valid BUT they are just that. They cant hurt you, yes its bloody terrifying but they cant hurt you.

[Pysis]

Hi C

im gald your starting feel better. I totally get having to many bad memories and reminders in your house, every time I go into my room I have to look at the marks and holes from fists I've tried covering them up but I can still see them. I get having lots of lonely sad nights in your room as well there have been way to many times when I've been locked in my room sad, scared and alone and then there's the times when I've had to lock me and my brothers in here to keep us safe so I get it.

there is nothing quite like a dog to make you feel better hey? They give the best hugs and love you no matter what. It sounds like a good plan to spend some time with their dog tomorrow, it's such a shame you can't have your own dog, I've got three a tiny fat little mini foxy, a skinny whippet and a big fluffy marrama sheep dog and thier all good huggers. I'll send some hugs your way then.

We leave next Sunday afternoon so hopefully I'm better before then.

Sending lots of hugs and love your way.😃

Nath

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

I thought that I would pop in to say a a quick hi. Thank you for visiting and leaving a warm message on MH post 🙂

I haven't read much of your thread so I know very little about you at the moment. I'm glad that your feelings of numbness have somewhat subsided momentarily. You're probably right that a change of environment helped. Also, animals can be such amazing company and I find being around them can be so healing.

Hanging out at your neighbour's place again sounds like a good idea. It sounds like being them is helping you- giving you respite from your home that, by the sounds of things, doesn't always feel like a home.

Also, as I was skimming some of this thread, I noticed you hail from the city. Hey, me too! I noticed your comments about loving the convenience and its vibrant, busy pace- me too! I love the nightlife plus the numerous music venues, art galleries, etc. I don't mind visiting the country from time to time (it's beautiful in its own way) but I'm a city person at heart too 🙂

Kind thoughts,

Pepper xo

[Peppermintbach]

* my post

[Peppermintbach]

**my thread

3rd time is the charm...

[KMTE]

Yes my thread is Sunday Blues but i find I comment more on other people's threads then my own. You can check it out if you like its not very long 🙂

[swtpotato]

Hi Cesca,

Just wanted to check in and pop by on your thread, didn't realise I wasn't already on this one!

It sounds like you are being really proactive with everything atm, I admire that a lot.

Definitely take advantage of that dog haha, they always make things a little easier.

Hope uni and meds are going well - how many weeks have you been on them now?

Em

[Cesca1557]

i was supposed to have my gp appointment on friday but she was sick as well so it was moved to wednesday but ill definitely be going on wednesday 🙂

oh okay, that makes a lot of sense actually, ill have a go at that next time
i usually just try to breath calmly and deeply if it does happen around other people
oh wow, thats great that you have managed to get the panic attacks under control but also sad that you are struggling without anyone noticing. if that makes sense?

hope youve had a nice day, its been really sunny today so im hoping to get outside for a bit if i get enough study done first

[Cesca1557]

yea its not great when the reminders are everywhere
have you tried covering up the marks with something like a photo or one of your painting or drawings?

animals are lovely! cant wait until i move out so can get a dog of my own but for now he will do 🙂
oh they sound lovely! luck you, i hope they shower you will hugs all the time
hope you colour run went well today and that you are feeling better

[Cesca1557]

Haha third time is definitely the charm
thanks for popping over and saying hi!

Tbh i havent really shared much about me at all on the forums so your not missing anything but not having read all the pages
yea i think it was a combination of a good gym glass, the different environment and their dog.
they get back tonight so ill spend the rest of the afternoon here then head back.
Yes i am a massive city girl (much to naths dislike haha). i do love how vibrant and busy it is, and the night life is great. completely agree with you there 🙂

thank again for saying hi
x