Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[Pysis]

Hi C

im glad you got a bit of studie done again today. What's your practice involve I hope it isn't to boreing and you can manage to stay awake, haha. Hopefully you can get to the gym tomorrow I'm hoping to lift some weights tomorrow it's been a while so I think I'll have to start off slow. It's good that you haven't felt to nauseated today hopefully the side affects are wearing off a bit.

Haha I get it when I have a lot of work on I usally get up at 6 or 7 to get ready and be there most farmers start shearing at about 7 so depending on how far I have to travel it means sometimes k don't get much sleep and I used to have to spend an hour and a half to get to school so they used to be early mornings to, hopefully Uni will settle down a bit soon and you will be able to sleep in a bit more.

thanks I'm hoping I get better pretty quick as well I was really sick at the start of the year so my immune systems still a little weak.

thinking of you

Nath

[Cesca1557]

Its a pharmacology practical class but this one is in the computer labs so i think we are doing experiments, but on computer programs and answering questions, i have to read the manual tomorrow so i have a better understanding of whats happening. my friend did it last week and said it was so boring so not looking forward to it haha
good idea! takes a while to get back into it but youll feel so much better when you do
yea they are definitely wearing off, ive felt a little cloudy headed and a bit off all week but this morning i felt much more clear headed which was a nice change
oh wow that is a long time! i hate early morning wakeups, much more of a night person. weird how exhausted i felt yesterday at 10pm but now its almost 12 and i only feel a little tired
are you still feeling sick now?
any plans for tomorrow?

[Pysis]

So are you studying to be a pharmacologist or do you want to go into something else sorry if you've already said this. Hopefully it won't be to boring for you there is nothing worse than being bored becuase it goes so much longer, one day I had to put 2000 clips on a fence and god it was so boring it felt like it took alway when really I did in in about an 2 hours.

Im glad your heads cleared a but mine is still Faust a fair bit wich really annoys me but I think it's the depression rather than the meds, I've got a photographic memorie but latley I'm struggling to remember things which is a really weird feeling for me everything's still there but it's hard to access.

yeah I'm more of a night person nothing like sitting round a fire with someone and just talking all night. I've never really been a party person mainly becuase I haven't known many people my own age I used to party a bit with one friend when I was about 13 but I also drank back then to which probably wasn't great,haha.

Yeah im the same some nights I'm exhausted and other nights I'm full of energy I think it depends on what you do during the day if you do really boring stuff I find it tends to make me more tierd but that's just me.

yeah I'm still feeling sick not as bad after I had my sleep but still not great.

i haven't got any plans for tomorrow I'll probably do a bit of studie but other than that I don't know what I'll do I've got stuff I'm suposed to do around the farm but I find it really hard to get motivated at the moment, I've got to re tin my shed but I really can't be stuffed. I sent a message to one of my bosses today that I normally work for on a Wednesday thats really been pretty crap latley but anyway that's anther story, to tell her that I'm working for my fencing boss this Wednesday and if she wanted me to do her gardening another day but all I got for a response was "no thank you Nathan" so that's great I think I've probably lost a job but anyway I tried everything I could to make her happy and it course me to go backwards with my depression again and then for her to tell me that I don't have depression and I'm just seeking attention was a real kick in the guts people piss me off sometimes.

thinking of you and sending you hugs for tomorrow

Nath

[startingnew]

Hi Cee
its good to have a good study session esp if you werent able to do much over the weekend or the ay before.
Haha hopefully your prac session isnt as boring as what others are making out.


Im gad your nausea is finally settling, looks like it was a case of it had to get into the system hey.
Try not to worry about bad weeks, they come and they go and things do pass, sometimes you just gotta ride them out. You feeling better since being on the Ads mean they are working and while it might not feel like they are working through the bad days just remember they only help part of the way. You still have to work hard to get the full benefits as well.
Good or bad we are here for you

[Cesca1557]

No im just doing pharmacology as a subject as i had an extra space and it sounded interesting! hoping to do medicine or physiotherapy but that will be in a degree after the science one im doing at the moment
i heard from someone else that its really beneficial and helps you to understand things so thats good! happy to put up with it being boring if it helps! ive gone to two lectures thismorning so just catching up on one that I couldnt go to as it clashed with my 9am one, and then will hopefully write a few notes out before the prac this afternoon.
haha oh wow, when its something so repetitive it can be so hard to enjoy it. i hope you got to listen to some music or something to make it more interesting

So frustrating when your mind isnt working as it normally is, hopefully it clears soon and your memory returns to its normal self

yea it definitley does depend on what you are doing!

thats good that you dont have too many plans then, hopefully youll be able to recover and feel even better tomorrow.
oh thats frustrating that your boss is acting that way, can be hard when you ahve multiple jobs and one gets annoyed that you arent free exactly when they need you
try not to think too much into it, theres nothing that you are doing wrong to make her behave that way

hope youve had a nice morning

[Cesca1557]

yea it was good! today will be an even more productive day as im at uni all day so dont have as many distractions
me too! i guess ill find out in a few hours

yea i feel like its definitely gotten better so my body must be more used to the meds now
thankyou! im here for you all as well
hows your day been so far?

[Pysis]

Hi C

oh yeah that's right sorry I couldn't remember weather it was you or em that wanted todo that. That's good if it helps you in the futer than it's worth it. I have no idea really ho Uni works but it sounds like you've had a good day so far today.

nah there no music out in the paddock unfortunately so it was just me and my thoughts I cuaght a bearded dragon though and had him in my pokcket to keep me company while I was doing it then let him go when i was done,haha.

Im thinking of looking more into starting my own business at the moment I was looking at prices of differnt animals I could use in my shows yesterday I can get a sugar glider right now for $250, haha. I'm wish my head was bit more clear so I could focus on the legistics side of it a bit more i did heaps of research at the start of the year when I was going to start it with my friend so I know a fair bit but I need to be able to focus properly.

Yeah im just resting today I think I'm getting worse I'm coughing up green muck now so I've probably got a chest infection.

Yeah im just over my other boss at the moment there is only so much I can do I've got about 10 bosses so it's hard when they all want me at once.

hope your doing ok and you don't fall asleep in your practical, haha.

thinking of you

Nath

[startingnew]

how did uni go today Cee?

was the prac as boring as you expected?

[Cesca1557]

no thats fine, don't apologise at all!
yea i was a very productive day but im pretty tired now. just have one more thing i need to get done before tomorrow and then ill try to get to sleep
oh thats annoying! i dont know how you did that without any music!
oh thats nice, must be lovely to be out in the nature though. im a city girl born and bread haha so dont often go into the country
oh wow that sounds exciting! definitely a lot of planning involved but im sure when your mind clears up a bit youll be able to figure out the logistics
far out you must be so sick! try to go to the doctors to find out because if it is a chest infection, youll need antibiotics to help get rid of it!

[Cesca1557]

Uni was good actually! a long day but i got a lot of work done which meant i could relax a little bit when i got home
the prac was pretty boring, but was informative. and there were some nice people in my group who kept me entertained
have another practical tomorrow but this time it is for anatomy so we see bones and muscles and sections of dead bodies who have donated their body to science which is always very fascinating to get to see things in real life