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Surviving: Being in a better place
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Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.
I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.
The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.
My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.
Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.
I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders
Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky
If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.
BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.
I know that now.
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these are what was missing in my last post and bingo it let it go through without them. Hymmmmm
🤗😺👩❤️💋👨💜🐾👀🐧
there, that looks better 😂
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Hi DB.
Wondering what sort of reminder are you using?
I dread, one day I will have to work out how to put reminders on my phone. I've very nearly forgotten my PDr appointments, even the ones which are at the usual day &/time of the week. If there is an unusual time or day, I will amend a really big sign I use as a desktop background pic, until that day/time. It's always there in my photos folder, ready to use when I need.
I'm still calling him from home, face time, so I can be doing things until I need to stop & phone. Since it's Face Time, I am taking more time to be ready for the call. But I can still get distracted & lose track of the time so easily.
When I was visiting his rooms, he was always promptly on time, so I don't want to seem to disrespect that example he has shown me of how he respects the time he has scheduled for me.
Gets me nervous, thinking I won't be ready, have forgotten something, even something like brushing my hair, teeth, or (heheh) using my deodorant! I want to be as ready as I would if I was visiting his rooms.
For other appointments, I keep a word document whre I write in all the details of each, when I make them. I try to list the appointments in date order, so I can look in there & find what's next. My problem now ism rembering to look!
Good night, sweet dreams, hugzies,
mmMekitty
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Hello beautifulDeebi👩❤️💋👩, , mmMeKitty and everyone….🤗.
I know what you mean about a post without emojis …just doesn’t look complete or pretty 😁..
How are you feeling my bbff…it’s been a while since I visited you…but definitely in my thoughts daily…💭❤️💫❤️🌟…
4 kilos is a lot to loose..do you realise that’s 8 tubs of 500gram margarine containers…very well done precious friend…
My Drs office rings/ messages me the morning of my appointment to remind me…I usually make afternoon appointments so I have time to get ready…Gee I am happy that your counsellor is very good to you and your both a good fit…makes a huge difference for us…
Its been really hot and humid here…especially at night…hard to sleep in the humidity, tossing and turning, foot outside of the sheets then back under 😂..
I have an old wooden rocking chair now, my former boss brought it in to donate to the shop, but instead he gave it to me after someone told him I’ve been searching for one…I did give give the shop a reasonable about of $’s as a donation for it though…feel better doing that way…I have tried it out a couple of times and I really love that it need me to use my feet to rock it…need to make some back and seat cushions because it’s wood and it hurts a bit especially where my back rests on the back of the rocker….another project…😂😁😂..
Please take good care of you honey, so many people here love and care for you…I hope you know I’m one of those….miss you…love you and I’m always here for you bbff…💙🤗💕💫💕👩❤️💋👩🦋🌹…
Hugs everyone with my love and care..❤️🤗🦋.
👩❤️💋👩Grandy..
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Hi DB. Thinking of you, hoping you are well as you can be. Getting some smiles & laughter every day.
Big hugzies
mmMekitty
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I should've read back more!
I am pleased to see you've been able to get some walking & losing some weight.
I have been trying too, with my food & exercise, & only found out last Thursday, I've lost a few kilos, not sure if it's 3 or 5 since September last year. It'seems a lot of work to lose that much/little.
I'll take it - thinking some side-effect f a med is not helping, possibility.
I'm getting some more help with another support worker to take me out to Sporting wheelies. People there know what they are doing & can help me do this.
I was at Grandy's before, & mentioned how I take a cool shower shortly before bed, when I think I won't get to sleep because I'm too hot & sweaty. Have you tried that? Afterwards I put a towel on my pillow, turn on my ceiling fan, & hope nothing else keeps me from sleep.
Hehehe, now you get more hugzies!
mmMekitty
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Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩❤️💋👩, mmMeKitty and everyone…🤗..
I think you are both doing amazingly well, loosing some kilos… Well done. .My heart meds which have been increased again, slows my metabolism right down, loosing weight is so hard for me…then again I do comfort eat…😁…
I do hope you’re okay honey, I really do miss you and our chats..
Always 24/7 365 days here for you…
Sending you big love, many hugs and lots of care….💙🤗🤗🤗🤗🌹🦋…🤜👿🤛..👩❤️💋👩🫶👩❤️💋👩
My love, care and hugs to everyone ❤️🤗🤗🦋..
👩❤️💋👩Grandy..
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That comfort eating is a difficult beastie, (to borrow DB's term), who seems to promise to comfort but instead leaves me feeling bloated & heavier than ever, sickly, & sluggish, & then the emotions take a dive.
I know darn well the comfort food is not any sort of food that supports my health & well-being It's like some illicit drug, this sweet/salty/fatty stuff, triggers endorphins or some such & gives me a little boost, only to let me down again wanting more. or feeling I can't get enough to feel what I once did.
I am still finding I think of wanting something quick for dinner, thinking making something which is also a comfort food, I could prepare quicker, when that simply isn't true.
I can just as easily chop up some carrot, lettuce, cucumber, tomato etcetera, to make a 'rustic' salad in just as much time as pasta, with cheese, & a handful of frozen veg thrown in near the end of cooking. Which is going to provide my body with better nutrition & a better feeling in my body & mind afterward?
I have found it is the salad.
But I still want some cheese - enough to placate the beastie for the moment. I have reduced the amount of cheese I eat during each week.
*
I was told with my bursitis to keep moving, challenge it a bit, keep moving, challenging the range of movement I had.
If it hurts too much to even try, I would suggest seeing your GP. I'd hate to think you have done some damage which is not bursitis & you are not being treated for the problem it is.
I know it's difficult getting healthcare where you live, but if you could see a physiotherapist, they could show you how to get some movement back into your shoulders. I'd love to go through what I've learned from a physiotherapist, but it's far harder to explain than to have someone show you.
The basic advice to keep moving was the best advice I'd heard in quite a while.
My shoulder had movement had been so limited, I too, could barely wash my own hair, or put some of my clothes on & off again. It seemed in no time at all after I began regularly & often moving my arms up down back forward & sideways, that I could do these things again. I still can't wash my back as entirely as well as I would like.
Now I got to work on my knees & hands where my arthritis has worsened. You guessed it - more movement!
Hugzies
mmMekitty
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Hey DB!
Just popping by to say Hi, & how are you?
It was lovely to see you'd stopped by Grandy's. I"m sure se appreciates it. It's so hard feeling close to someone, & not able to do as much as we might to help & support, restricted as we are here on (& using) BB. I have found it's valuable to realise there are people who think of me, as I do of you, Grandy & others. It just helps knowing.
So, yeah, I want you to know I think of you, wonder how you are, imagining you are a busy little bee.. hoping so, but if not, hoping for better days soon.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
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So, how are you, DB?
I've wrapped up some cosy hugzies to send you, today, this afternoon ... Now. They are on the way, as the crow flies, directly to you.
Cosy Hugzies
mmMekitty
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Howdy DB, & everyone,
Popping by to ask, "How are you?"
I read what you said in Grandy's & wanted to ask if you have any idea when your hip op is due?
I know it's hard to lose weight. I have been working on that myself. I include changes to my food choices - more salad, no unnutricious 'crap' food. I just have to keep saying , "No" to those things. & yes, exercise. I've got some NDIS support for some, such as a group exercise programme & hydrotherapy, which I attend at Sporting Wheelies & the pool is own by the City Council & I still have to pay a small fee to use. The Therapist is paid by NDIS, as is the staff at Sporting Wheelies. I don't get NDIS support to pay gym membership, but I think having that has helped a lot, so I'm paying.
It'was difficult convincing NDIS how I need support because they insist health related things are not directly related enough to my primary disability. I need someone to set the settings on the machines in order to use them at all.
I am enjoying what I'm doing, which has amazed me. I really don't like getting hot, sweaty & breathless & worry about how much strain & pain the exercises cause.
But I have a goal in mind, & it's not how much weight or what size I want to fit into. It's about being healthier & fitter, to reduce the likelihood of more illness & disease in future, especially since I was told being overweight all by itself increases my ristk for another cancer developing somewhere else in my body. & I would have fared better if I had not been overweight before my surgery. I'd have at least a somewhat streamlimed body as I had imagined.
You have a goal in mind - to help the surgery & your recovery go more smoothly. Make that your priority when you think of what meals or snacks you can choose, & when & how you exercise. Walking is good, if you walk briskly, getting the heart rate up & the breathing up, too. Going with someone is a great idea.
I have enjoyed my exercise more with people encouraging me.
You have my support & encouragement, DB. I have a lot of confidence in you.
Hugzies
mmMekitty