Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (& a wave to all),

Things sound as though they’re going well with your new man. I think it’s very special that you felt that instant connection with him. Getting to know him must be very special. You sound as though you really like him 🙂

Unfortunately, the carbuncle doesn’t sound nearly as pleasant though. It must irritate you so much! I hope the meds help and that it goes down soon...

I’m glad you have your new man now though. It sounds as though you’re looking out for each other. I know you’ve been missing a relationship for some time, so I think it’s wonderful that he came along and you decided to bravely take a chance. Enjoy getting to know one another 🙂

Supersoul hugs, much love and a Saturday lunch on me (my treat, order whatever you like).

Peppystar xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and all..🤗..

Im not sure honey..I know with boils..they have to run their course..sometimes I can continually get them popping up over a period of a few weeks..even longer until they decide that they have finished annoying me..not sure if carbuncles are the same....Maybe ring your dr. and see if he/she will give you another script for the strong antibiotics....I’m really sorry that your going through this....Good girl about seeing your dr about the chin itchy...maybe that one is the one the others are coming from...just a thought..That’s good that you haven’t missed a day...🤗..

Needing more sleep is a part of recovery..so please do so as much as you can...Still sitting with you bbff..holding on tight...always...

I doubt you could ever be rude beautifulheart..I know you often speak up when wrong attitude is being used or wrong uncaring words...That’s good to be like that...standing up for you and others who have been wronged..I wish I could be more like you...

I so much need a real hug.... I wiwawyip so I could get some of you...It’s hard Deebi.😢..in saying that I’m okay..though..

Im pleased you still have the cushion..use it if you need to...

I’m pleased you like my post..I think we posted together last night..😁 great minds think alike...and post together..we must have been thinking about each other at the same time..😚..

Its cold and windy here today...we got a few drops of rain last night..not even a mil...the clouds have no rain in them...I will have to try and make a rain making machine and do my rain dance before not long...💃🏻⛈...or use a water 🔫..to get some water into them...

Love and care for you Deebi..💜..🐻🤗...

I hope today is a good day..and not to ouchy when your lovely nurse comes this arvo..maybe a couple of otc pain relief before the dressing change..🦢🦋.

sending my kind thoughts...love and hugs...💖🤗 to anyone who wants them...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👭🌛...🕊🌱🦢

[demonblaster]

Hi my/our beautifuls and all other lovelies

It's getting to be hi honey I'm home. Back in hospital with the chin one. Was wanting to wait and see but Dr and friend said diabetes speeds up infection process or along those lines.

Asked nurse she said yes get it seen to but wait till Monday until I said about how quick the others have worsened.

Oh my love and boys were going to pick me up to take me to stay at theirs which I want to do more cause hard although not far on him with travel and tiredness but I suspect I'll be released today cause still almost finished the strong anti biotics. Cant say I'm over the moon about it all still lurging thanks for that info. I'm guessing and asking is it the same family boils and carbuncles think it is. Looks like I scored the Medussa brand.

Let youse know when I can. Hoping not as long wait this time.

Reply properly later gorgeous ones.

At least nearly over this BP.

Love to you both 🐻🤗☘🎨👼💜👩‍❤️‍👩

[monkey_magic]

Hello,

Glad things are on the up for you.

My backs better. I can't believe it. 🏥🏡🚿🛁🐇

Heres a few emojis for ya.

Hope the rest of the weekend treats you well. Me, I'm working on the Sunday funday. Need the dollars.

Chao,

Xox

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi.👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I have come to pick you up...and thought to take you to a beautiful blue lagoon with a glorious softy flowing waterfall, with water so crystal clear that it looks like shimmering diamonds as the sun shines it’s rays into the water and onto the very soft pure white sand that sits under the water...

Scattered around the pure white sand are some large rocks...shaped like big bowling balls..but as soft as a cloud to sit on...when you sit on the rock..it forms a chair..when you lay on it..it forms a bed...so soft the you sink right into it....

The only noise at this blue lagoon..is the gently lapping of the water..The delicate songs of the tiny birds...The soft rustling of the leaves on the tall bright green willow trees as the gently sway in the scented breeze of all the beautiful roses...the tiny croaking of the green frogs as they sit on the water Lillie’s as they float along the top of the water...So peaceful..so relaxing..so calming...pure serenity..

After taking in the amazing sights and sounds we start walking through the warm water and select a rock each...We move them to the waterfall and place them under it..then we can feel the relaxing warm water falling onto our heads and slowing down our bodies..feeling a relaxation like nothing we felt before...We get out and walk over to where there is some bright red luscious strawberry patch and we have our fill...detoxifying our system...

Time to get our rocks again...and move them to the centre of the lagoon...and lay down with our eyes closed and let the tiny birds sing to us while we are gently bobbing up n down..side to side which put us into the most deep and refreshing sleep we have had in a long time....Too relaxed and calm to move we decided to stay floating and to sleep the night long on the crystal clear blue lagoon.....with the stars shining down at us...and the moon with its big smiley face...sending it’s moon beams on us, happy, knowing that our friendship is pure gold...

I hope your okay Deebi...Not sure if your home or hospital..no matter where you are honey...My spirit is sitting right there next to you...Love you Deebi....love our time...🐻🤗.

Magic...it’s good news to hear your back is better...I’m happy for you...be very gentle and don’t push yourself to much with your back...give it time to heal properly sweetheart....

Love and hugs everyone..💖🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜👭🌛..

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..and all🤗.

I hope your okay Deebi....

My 💭 are with you beautiful friend....

I needed to call in and wish you a good restful sleep tonight..and hope your dreams are beautiful and calming to let you wake tomorrow morning with your soul full of peace and light..

Good night dear bbff..love you so much..💖..🌜🐻🤗🌛..

Good night everyone...Love and hugs..💖🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜🦢🌱🕊🦢🌛

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

You truly have an indomitable spirit lass. They say things come in threes so hopefully this means your chin is the last of the carbuncles. [Touch Wood]

I'm so pleased for you that you have a new someone in your life. It sounds like he is a kind, caring soul and it's lovely how supportive he has been. You do seem very taken with him & I'm sure it's mutual.

Rest up & give your poor bod time to heal.

Huggliest of hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

Just saying thank you for posts at mine..they mean a lot..

I wanted to wish you....and (Mr Beautiful)...where ever he is.....a great deep sleep tonight..with beautiful dreams...Look after each other the best you can...💑👫...I’m really so happy for you both....

Love you dearest bbff....

good nite honey...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦢💖🦋.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[demonblaster]

Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 Peps Monks and Paws loves thank you for your beautiful caring posts all of you you too beautiful Tweety

I'm still in recovery and extremely tired. Am getting lots of sleep never enough in these times and up too late but my worlds turned upside down in such a lovel way atm.

Was a bit down this eve but moved from where I was.

Some things making me angry and hurt too but not from Mr beautiful. Unsure on one but pretty sure I'll be adressing both.

Love to you all.

Grandz that really was devine the Blue lagoon stars water rocks into bed nicely done and carrying them. Very well written too.

Nigh night sweet loves 💗

Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝🐩🐶😚🐻🤗🗯 deep love honey. PubAok xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Thank you heaps for your posts at mine...

I hope everything went good with your surgeon today..as well I’m hoping so much that you’re doing okay....

How’s your poor back feeling today?...

Love you Deebi..🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💖👫🦢🕊🌱🌛..

Good night honey...Sleep deeply my friend and sweet dreams....

love and hugs...Deebi...and Mr Deebi...if that’s okay bbff...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💖👭💜🌛....