Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋
Always so nice seeing you 😊. What a beautiful opening birdies singing, wind through the trees yes let's do as they do and stand tall. Nice one Grandz 🤗
😆 that was so cool out of your 💼 making your arm rubbery 😅 oh Grandy you're a class act and that star filling my soul you're serious 🦄 darlin love it and it did reading your post 😚
Yip I don't feel they're doing much to help either.

Thanks huns I'll just have to focus & see if I can get it in writing what they say. I get picked up and dropped off with community transport as do others that use it too.

Cool I'll squizz those hun.
The audio books are free are they? Where do I go for them. I've only seen places you pay for them I think.

How on earth did you only have 1. Well done 😊 I cant stop at just one 🙄

Hope your days good sweety and that you're feeling a little more relaxed now you know whats happening poor darling.

I'm sleeping in ages now Grandz, not down just nothing really to get up for.

Thank you so much for being virtually with me, love you very much and really appreciate your beautiful friendship and lovelies here.

🌜👩‍❤️‍👩🤗😚💜☀️💼🦄🌈🗯🎃🌛

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

I am so sorry I've not been here for you, I needed a break from things and I find I'm not as strong as you are, I can't keep posting when I'm feeling really down.

You are sounding very flat lass, I'm thinking perhaps your coming off the smokes might be adding to the meh feeling, as your body adapts to not getting the nicotine hit.

I see you went for a walk, I'm hoping this means your leaning has eased or is it coming & going?

I have to agree with you, stopping at one bickie never happens here. 🤗

Yes I have finally worked out how to get emojis, I copy them off your's & Grandy's posts. 😀

Lots of hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws 🐾 and everyone 🤗..

I hope your day was okay honey...

I got my from playstore on my phone....the app is called Audiobooks..it’s an orange colour it’s white lines on it...I did the same through my iPad through the App Store...my iPad one is red and white...

Good luck beautiful bbff let me know how you go...I use my iPad one the most...

😂😂Awe Paws and Deebi... Yes hard to stop at one breakaway..I did so I can have a couple tonight while watching Lord of the rings....That’s a good way to get emoji’s...I do so at times as well..especially when I can’t find the one I’m looking for....

Deebi...that’s okay about sleeping in..please try as hard as you can to do get up and have a coffee and breakfast..They are important meals to have and gives us some energy to tackle the day as well as our thoughts of negatives....🤗🤗...Don’t let beasty take you down...please dearest bbff..love you so much and worry about my bbff🤗👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄👂👼🚜..

Hope tonight is a good night for you beautifulheart and all the other beautiful caring people here...

Love and hugs dear friends..💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼...👀🤝🤝👂🌈💖💫🧶🌹

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely people ☺

Good to see you Paws you were missed 🤗 Sorry hearing you've not been well, hoping you feel better or at least a bit stronger now poor thing. No fun eh.

Yip probably not having the smoke fix is adding to flatness. Good thoughts thanks Paws ☺

Unfortunately the leanings still going on but seems to be when I first get up for a short time. Want to walk more hardly done any for ages. Foots still not right but not agony trying to keep it from getting worse.

Since the nerve conduction I think most of my twitches have stopped yay, still slight & regular in forearm. Good though they seem mostly to have gone

Cool good on you with emojis 😅 If you have an Ipad or tablet it might be a smiley face on the bottom line. If not I'll tell you about how on a PC.

Thanks for dropping in Paws ☺🤗🐾🐧

Grandy hiya sweety 🤗

Thanks lovey I'll check them out. Audio and puzzles. Will let you know 🙂

Can't believe how much sleep I'm having & sarvo.. crikey. Yip still having breaky just later.

You're sweet worrying about your bbff I do you too Grandy pubAok need you ya know precious friend 🤝👀💗💜

Love honey ☺ yip slept mostly so was ok thanks today

Hope you enjoy Lord of Rings and wow so controlled with the bickies impressive 😊 enjoy darlin glad you liked the other one you saw too

Love you too Floss you're a beautiful soul sissyter friend

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🦄✨🎃🌈☀️🗯💼🤝👀

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I hope you can find the audio one..they have a good selection of books...I have heard..a few...

So pleased your twitches have eased off some..did they treat you there as well?...or maybe bods settling down a little with the extra sleep..lI hope they don’t come back as bad again....

Good girl having breakfast...or is it brunch...I think imo only that we can’t force sleep onto us..so if your sleeping your body must need it...It’s okay honey...it really is..🤗 big hugs bbff...

We have a big day on the 3rd...I’ll be around yours at about 6.30am...with a hearty breakfast before we leave in the community transport bumpity bumpity swaying bus...We can play eye spy..good mindfulness...Maybe take a pen and blank book with you and right down or draw beautiful things you see along the way...Your first entry will be you.🤗...Or maybe we can entertain the driver and if others there with some 🥁🎹🎷🎺🎸🎻🎼 band practise...😂😂.after your appointment is finished we can go to maccas and get some tea for me coffee for you and some yummy scones...

How are you feeling today?...

I moved my lemon tree 🍋🌲 into the front yard..So hard digging the hole.. all done now..Gee I hope it survives and flourishes...

Need ya too lovely friend...You are my bestest friend I’ve ever had🌈💖👭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....love you sss.....together we can do anything and everything including eliminating beasty from our lives...I’m sure we can...

Thank you honey I did enjoy so much tv last night..if it wasn’t for you I still wouldn’t be watching it...Thank you for your encouragement in doing so....🤗☺️..

I hope tonight is good for you precious friend..I’ll be bedding earlish tonight...leaving early morning...

Thank goodness this the last of appointments for specialists..I really need to have my ear looked at...been sore and achy for nearly 12 months now..Couldn’t afford the $295.00 fee..my gp worked hard to get him to bulk bill me...She’s very nice...I’m lucky I have her....

Please be always okay Deebi....sss..lysvm..truth☺️🌈💖🤗👭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

love and hugs💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌈💖 👭👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 🦄👼🌹🎂..

[demonblaster]

Hey beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi all ☺

No they didnt treat me but they did the second test as well needles in muscles which hurt in one spot but ok. Think the shocks scared them off. Was funny I screamed with the first one.. wasnt expecting it 😆 I think they're still around but reduced significantly.

Brunch more like it 😃 Special group then mhw tomoz. Lunch with a besty Tues if we're still on then our July 3 big day. Oh you're so gorgeous getting up so early for me and yes I think the passengers need to prepare for our style of music for when we have our premiere. They'll love it, 🤔 wonder if Croixy might like to come too 😁 oh and maccas yum & scones. Loven it then you can stay over if you like all our furs need to play.

Not too bad thanks hun today. Bit of a headache havent for a while its been so nice. Did a small walk today, have a bit of a blister from new shoes otherwise they're good from op shop.

Dunno Grandz about you digging that hole. Hands on hips foot stamping.. r u o k after doing that. You worry me sweetyheart. Please please be careful. Love and need you soo much lovely.

Cool really happy you enjoyed the movie. I love TV always have. Watching bewitched use to love it as a kid still nice to watch. You might like it tho it may be off again now. Recorded it.

We will and can my beautiful besty 🤝 together we're unstoppable eh 😀

All the very best for tomorrow darlin you sure have suffered for a long time with that. Big day for you again too. I'll be with you as well darlin.

Thank you for being such a beautiful friend Grandy love you very much darl please ubAok yAdimh awyis lysvm bbff take good care honey 😚 🤗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗👀🤝✨🗯🍨☀️🦄🌈☀️

[Paw Prints]

Hello DB,

I'm so pleased for you that your twitches have mostly stopped & it sounds like the leaning is slowly dissipating as well (I hope I read you right). If it's ok can I ask what the problem is with your foot, you don't need to say if you would rather not.

As my family keep telling me, I still live in the dark ages, so no smart phone or ipad, just a lap top. 😊

I'm worried about you lass, you are sounding very lost. "not down just nothing really to get up for." Is there nothing that you have had an interest in doing in the past, that you might take up again. Or perhaps trying something completely new. I know it's hard when we are feeling blah, but having something to look forward to can help.

Sending you hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi...

I’m just calling in this cold freezing frosty yet beautiful sunny morning wishing you a lovely time today at special group today...lots of hello hugs and chitty chatter.....also I hope your time with your mhw is a good release for you as well....

Oh I’m sorry about your blister honey...If you have some bandaids put across your heals when you wear shoes today, to stop the rubbing....poor darling they hurt.🥺...Well done with the small walk yesterday.....I’m hoping so much that your sore headache 🤕 has gone today...

Im okay after digging the tree in....bit sore..I took some anti flammable meds and pain relief together..it’s not to bad today...needed doing beautifulheart and just me to do it...🤗..

Thank you sweet lady for your love, concern and care you give me...love you very much..🌈💖🦄👼..Not long now until I leave to pick Betty up....Going to be a long day..probably home just before dark....

Have a good day Deebi..🌹..

love and hugs...💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼🌹

[demonblaster]

Hey lovely Paws 🐾 dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩and all ☺

Thanks Paws hope you're feeling brighter ☺
Yes the twitches I realise are still there but reduced dramatically and dont seem to be everywhere now. The leaning is still going on but settles soon after getting up. Bit painful.

Oh my foot I think Archilles tendon had it before twice. Theres a small lump at the back of my heel though. Up a bit not flat on the ground part.

Thanks fot your concern, yip sleeping no end these days. I want to get back into my art. Cant play sport havent for ages through this weakness stuff and foot. Walking regularly too I need to rehabit even if I cant do hills yet.

Take care hun 🐾🤗👋

What a sweety popping in before you went Grandy been wondering how you went glad to see you're safe back.

Thanks darlz got rid of the headache wee hrs took more meds otc. Yay

Big love sweetyheart thank you as well always for your beautiful friendship and support you too Paws ☺

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🐾👋🦄✨🎃🍉❄

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...Hiya Paws 🐾 and all 🤗🍀....

I hope you’re doing better then okay...

Oh I’m sorry beautifulheart that you had select one or the other today...That would have been hard to do....I know your mhw is a good person who has time for you as well as he listens to you...,I hope your day was good...

Thats okay honey...I was up early and feeling very anxious and a bit down, I needed to talk to someone so I did to you...Helps me being close to you..even if it’s through words..doing so make my less lonely..👭..

Im pleased your headache choofed off for you...I have a new remedy..frozen towel pack..😂...Gauranteed to freeze the ache away..by numbing your head😂 🤕..

I dreamt once of us having dinner together and I’m so happy that I dreamt of you having short curly/waves hair...That’s the picture of you I have in my mind of you...also very soft gentle brown eyes..

Tomorrow lunch with bestie...if it’s still on I hope you have a really good time...Ummm...maybe I’ll go looking in my 💼, find my shrinking potion and jump into your jacket pocket tomorrow morning and come as well...I added a new floor.....”potions and lotions”.....magic of course...

Thats okay to start small walks again without hills...please honeyheart be gentle on your foot and back...

I will start packing my bag Wednesday plus also some fur buddies toys and our little fur family can play all weekend..and we can sit back and watch them...😂..probably we laugh a lot watching them playing together...if it’s still okay to come to yours...I will bring some party 🥳 🎉 hats...I thought maybe this weekend will be good.🌈💖....Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we could...

I hope you sleep peacefully tonight dear precious friend and dream of the fairies flying in and out of the flowers...oh look a dropped flower...it’s a bright rainbow coloured Carnation...I’ll pop it under your pillow tonight..

Love you dearest treasured friend...💖💖💖..pubaok.. yadimh.. lysvm.. awyis..sss...

Love and hugs everyone..💖💜🤗..

Good night lovely people..😵😴..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🥳🎉🌈💖🦄👼🤗💜💼🥶