Sharing strategies to help with PTSD

[PamelaR]

One of my biggest learnings has been - PTSD is not like a broken arm. When you break your arm, it mends. PTSD is with you for life. It took me ages to recognise that I'd been triggered. Some of the simplest things - like going to the shopping centre at the beginning of winter and seeing the multi-colour shirts - red, blue, black squares. The hardest part for me is identifying the trigger because the pacing heart, the sweats, the panic, the fear doesn't happen immediately. It happens after I walk out of the shopping centre.For the first few years after being diagnosed with PTSD I was hell bent on identifying the trigger. Now - I don't worry. I simple accept I'm triggered - do my breathing, relaxation to beautiful music, write down my feelings and emotions, talk with my husband. Let him know I've been triggered. Most times my cats won't come near me while I'm working through a 'phase', but they certainly know when I've come out the other side. They come and give me lots of comfort and love. The down side of how I manage is to drink alcohol - to stop the feelings and emotions. It doesn't work, but it helps go to sleep. I'm not recommending drinking as a strategy!!

I have had 2 excellent psychologists that helped me. It's important to find someone other than those close to you to talk to. One was very good at helping me identify what was happening - e.g. being super alert, wanting to save or please people. Recognising these things helped to build better relationships with my work colleagues and my friends. I have conversations in my head - oh, you just want to please because something has frightened you. Then I say - you're okay, you're safe, you can say what you need to.

Basically, the strategy of self talk in a challenging way - I challenge what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. But I also recognise the little girl who screams out when things happen and comfort her. Very important to know she hurts terribly and needs comfort. The comfort she never received as a child.

[Guest8901]

Thanks PamelaR and bindi_QLD.

Bindi - Actually my current trigger is, I suspect, from having to think about it all when approaching my GP for a MHCP for the first time. As well as from some of the questions my GP asked. Its meant that I've been forced to think about, and therefore relive a lot of things I'd rather not. The anniversary of my trauma is still a way off, thankfully. Perhaps by then I'll have learned some coping strategies from my Clinical Psychologist. I have my initial appointment with her in 4 weeks time, which is the earliest available. My GP rang and made the appointment for me whilst I was with him. He may not have trusted me to make the appointment myself.

Pamela - I'm so sorry to hear of your baby daughter. 35 years is a long time, but the intense hurt does not stop, only perhaps fade just a little. Unfortunately, given it was a newborn, you won't have any happy memories of her to help take the edge off the pain. I never had children, so can only imagine how hard that would have been. I'm glad you and your husband are at least able to honour her short life with a glass of wine on her birthday.

Knowing your triggers? Yes, I think I know most of them, but some I can't predict. They seem to come out of nowhere, and seem very obscure. But plainly there is a link there somewhere.

Anniversaries are a biggie for me. So too are certain words or subjects discussed in a group setting, where I instantly choke up and seem unable to breathe, and heart racing. Stories of rape or assault, which you almost routinely seem to hear or read in the news, send me into a panic. I'm unable to be in large towns or cities on my own without constantly being on high alert and in fear for my life. Being at home on my own, especially at night, causes high levels of anxiety as well. These are the triggers which will set me off every time, and I can predict them. Its the unknowns which are so much harder to cope with. And I'm still discovering them, after a lot of years now.

Fearing the fear is worse then the actual trigger, you say? Sorry I'm not quite sure I understand that. If you're willing, I'd be grateful for further exploration on that one. Its true I fear my reactions to things which trigger me. Don't we all? But if fearing that fear is so bad, how do you go about not fearing it?

Amanda

[bindi-QLD]

Dear Pam, I thought Amanda gave you the perfect response to the loss of your baby. But I really want to offer you my sympathy and understanding too. I don't have children, we lost our first one to ectopic pregnancy. It was 9 weeks old, and suddenly ruptured. It was life threatening at the time .

I had felt very connected to it, and very happy when I was pregnant. Afterwards, I couldn't have babies and the Internal injures were severe enough for me to need to stop work for the University. I have a lot of grief about that, and some ongoing internal problems.

I try to think of my love for animals and birds as a positive outlet for the love I would have given our baby. Pets are especially full fulling for me, but...there's that empty space.

I was happy to read that you have enjoyed a long marriage. I'm glad you found him early in your life 🙂 Did you have any more children?

[bindi-QLD]

Dear Amanda,

I know what you mean, about feeling worse when you talk about it. Like jittery and stirred up at first, then worse. And it can go on for a while too. If you do find yourself in a panic and not sleeping, I think it would be reasonable to let your GP know that you need help with that (there is medication that can help). If you don't feel comfortable stirring it all up by talking about it, then please don't feel you have to . Caring for yourself by reducing anxiety is your main priority.

I'm sorry you're going through this, its tough to find the best coping strategies that work in different situations. And then trying to make them all healthy ones. I'm finding this thread helpful, its been good to just talk about the strategies we all have used.

[PamelaR]

Hello Amanda

Happy to explain further about 'fearing the fear'. When you get to visit your psych they will have different methodologies to use to help with your PTSD. So you may want to wait, but here is what I've found in the past 7 years.

There are different thoughts about what causes the trigger - you thinking about it and then your body responding, or your actual body remembering and responding to it without you consciously thinking it. Before I started my journey I could have sworn I thought about it and my body responded. I think it's a fine point. But I now think my body (i.e. your muscles, bones, joints, brain, all organs) remembers and responds.

So when my body has remembered (been triggered), it triggers my 'flight, fright response'. Managing this is complex.

• One I have to manage the trigger (the fear)

• Two I have to manage the response to the trigger (the fearing)

To manage the initial trigger I have used CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Basically changing the way I think about things. It has helped me tremendously, but I am aware it doesn't work for everyone. So this means the initial trigger is reduced.

To manage the second is challenging because once my body goes into flight/fright mode it's hard to stop it. It's fighting for it's survival. I focus on my breathing, relaxing all my body and mindfulness. These help me to reduce the adrenaline that's racing through my body, to reduce the nauseas my stomach feels. My pacing heart is the most difficult to manage but it gets there eventually, generally following an expression of my emotions. I've found writing what I'm feeling right at that time helps to bring up all the emotion that needs releasing to help my body go back to 'normal'.

I hope this helps you understand you're not alone in what you're experiencing. My responses have reduced, but I don't think they'll ever leave me. It's just learning to manage these.

I had another child but she died before she was born. So we chose not to have any more children. It was a hard choice, but both my partner and I are happy with that decision and live a very fulfilling life together.

[bindi-QLD]

Dear Pam,

I really appreciate how you described the distinction between `body remembering' and `thought triggers'. This is especially helpful IMO, thank you for taking the time to explain it so clearly. I'm glad to hear about the other useful skills you've developed through CBT and dealing with the physical symptoms, thanks a lot for sharing that 🙂

In context of what you wrote, I believe the `fight/flight' `my life is endangered' triggers are very serious and require our special attention also. Basically any trauma that felt life threatening could trigger this panic response.

I really believe sleep and reducing anxiety are so important during these episodes. A panicked, sleepless mind can't go on beyond a week or two without cracking, its so important to seek out help from a GP or other mental health professional.

Thanks again for all the other ideas you explained, they are so helpful 🙂

[Guest8901]

PamelaR and Bindi-QLD - Thank you for your replies as well as your helpful advice.

Bindi, I agree with you that animals, birds and nature in general is a great comfort or outlet for expression of love and care. I have a dog, a Tenterfield Terrier, her name is Charli. A delightful little dog and the greatest comfort any pet could possibly give. A substitute for the child I never had? Possibly, but even people who have children, also have much loved pets. I think its something that I would always have had regardless.

Yes you described it well, jittery is an apt way of describing the feeling. Jittery, all worked up inside, shaky inside and out.

PamelaR - your post was very informative and helpful, I really appreciate that. Managing the response to a trigger. Panic yes, and I'm often physically sick as well. I guess its just the body's reaction to high levels of stress, or an over abundance of adrenalin. Maybe a bit like a snake trying to swallow a rat I came across once. This large brown snake was in the process of swallowing a rat it had caught, and it was half way down at the time I accidentally stumbled across him. He promptly spewed up the rat and was gone in a shot. Emptying the gut enabled him to be in a position to fight or flight. I guess the nausea and vomiting makes sense in a primitive type of way.

The racing heart is a difficult one. When I first started to get that, I worried because there is a lot of heart disease and congenital heart defects in my family. But after reading up on anxiety, I know thats all it is. Hard to prevent or reduce that loud, erratic and persistent pounding through your whole body though. Even when realising it isn't life threatening, it still feels like it is at the time.

Interesting what you say about writing things down being helpful for you. Self expression by way of simply writing down how you feel or what's troubling you, or more of a creative writing, such as poetry or some such?

As far as my anxiety is concerned, my GP has told me to come back and see him if or when I need to. Especially while I wait the 4 weeks before my psych appointment. I guess he feels he can hand me over to her afterwards. For the time being however, I need to try to reduce stress. My husband's illness is not helping in that regard, it just adds to everything else. I'm sure the psych will help me work on some coping strategies. Something, other than resorting to alcohol when desperate, would be good.

Thank you all.

Amanda

[labradoodle]

Hi PamelaR great post I also am suffering from PTSD from a truck accident had a near miss on the rd on Thursday this has been a trigger for me. Have a great psychologist who saw me on her lunch break! Had been recovering well but feel this has been a set back for me it helps to know that I am not alone and other people can understand what I'm going through. For me it helps to write it down. My psych gave me a mood chart to track my days and I find it helps to look back on reflect on my good days. I have a good support network but some days like today just get overwhelmed and don't want to do anything but hoping writing this post will help me get the feelings out. Labradoodle

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Amanda, Pam and welcome Labradoodle!

This morning I remembered a type of therapy I heard of in my travels called `Exposure therapy'. I liked the sound of it, but wasn't sure how it could be practiced, without the therapist actually attending places or situations that traumatize you, and lending a lot of support. But I did read of some scenarios where the therapist did that. Sounds a little expensive , but therapeutic 🙂

I can think of times when my partner helped me `re-expose' myself to situations that had traumatized me in the past. We didn't know it was called `exposure therapy', but thats probably what it was.

He came with me back to the scene of both sexual assaults. The place I had formerly loved most, from my childhood town, we went back many times. We had a lot fun there, photographing wildlife and birds and beautiful flowers. Plus he's just great company, we always laugh and have fun together. Now when i think of that place, I think of us and our good times,and I don't think I felt jitters the last time went back.

There's probably lots of examples in life, where re-exposure `just happens', maybe because you just have to get back on the horse for work or just functioning in life. I found it an interesting concept, doing this deliberately with a therapist.

PS. Amanda, I just wanted to say I agree with you about Pets not quite fitting in with `child substitution'. That idea doesn't sit well with me either. They are an outlet for love and care, but so much more than that. And I don't really think the companionship we share with pets is the same as `parent-child'. They are a different species, our equals and in so many ways , with their own gifts and abilities humans don't possess.

I do enjoy making them happy , as well as their lack of capacity for cruelty and abuse. Being around children can be equally as rewarding, but different, I agree.

[labradoodle]

Hi Bindi Labradoodle here thanks for the welcome. Having a bad day today so thought I'd check my thread being welcomed was like a hug for me. I am currently using exposure therapy at work I was injured at work when a truck lost its load and slammed into my truck (I'm a road worker so was stationary). At first I couldn't look at one of our vehicles and trucks on the rd just made me so nervous. I returned to work mid November just to get exposed to the environment and being around fellow workers at first. It was a struggle but after a couple of weeks of gradual exposure I increased my hours and was feeling confident again. Two weeks ago we decided it was time to try the same thing on the road things were going well until last week when a large truck approached it has set me back but after a psych session we are going for more exposure just at a slower rate. My accident was in September and being a "bloke" I thought I would be fine by now. Obviously this whole PTSD affects a lot of people and it helps to know I'm not alone but some days are hard Thanks for reading Labradoodle

[PamelaR]

Hi all

It's been awhile, I haven't forgotten the threads in here and have been checking on my phone, but haven't logged in on my phone... Been busy with family staying. So life's been quite hectic. Just starting to return to a little normality now.

So to start, I'll respond to Bindi -

Thanks for your response to the strategy for put forward for Mandy. You're absolutely correct - going to the GP is essential. It's a given. I guess I hadn't included that because Mandy had been to the GP and was now going to a psychologist. But you're right, others reading this post don't have the context. So thanks.

Kind regards

PamelaR