Sharing strategies to help with PTSD

[PamelaR]

One of my biggest learnings has been - PTSD is not like a broken arm. When you break your arm, it mends. PTSD is with you for life. It took me ages to recognise that I'd been triggered. Some of the simplest things - like going to the shopping centre at the beginning of winter and seeing the multi-colour shirts - red, blue, black squares. The hardest part for me is identifying the trigger because the pacing heart, the sweats, the panic, the fear doesn't happen immediately. It happens after I walk out of the shopping centre.For the first few years after being diagnosed with PTSD I was hell bent on identifying the trigger. Now - I don't worry. I simple accept I'm triggered - do my breathing, relaxation to beautiful music, write down my feelings and emotions, talk with my husband. Let him know I've been triggered. Most times my cats won't come near me while I'm working through a 'phase', but they certainly know when I've come out the other side. They come and give me lots of comfort and love. The down side of how I manage is to drink alcohol - to stop the feelings and emotions. It doesn't work, but it helps go to sleep. I'm not recommending drinking as a strategy!!

I have had 2 excellent psychologists that helped me. It's important to find someone other than those close to you to talk to. One was very good at helping me identify what was happening - e.g. being super alert, wanting to save or please people. Recognising these things helped to build better relationships with my work colleagues and my friends. I have conversations in my head - oh, you just want to please because something has frightened you. Then I say - you're okay, you're safe, you can say what you need to.

Basically, the strategy of self talk in a challenging way - I challenge what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. But I also recognise the little girl who screams out when things happen and comfort her. Very important to know she hurts terribly and needs comfort. The comfort she never received as a child.

[Guest8901]

Thanks Pamela for your insight on those questions I asked of you.

I get what you say about perceptions when it comes to what is traumatic to one person but may not be to another. And yes I expect upbringing, morals, culture, religion, etc all definitely would come into play in that. For me, though not religious nor of a culture where such stigmas may come into it, sexual assault to a naive unworldly and inexperienced young woman as I was back then, was my worst nightmare. And still often is! But on the other hand I have experienced many events since then that many consider highly traumatic, but to me they arent. So plainly it is very different for each individual. But none any less real than the other.

Sorry, I wasnt trying to make light of RSI, perhaps it was a bad analogy. I do know its a very real injury causing a lot of pain to those suffering it. No, I havent personally, but I do know others who have. I think I was more looking to compare the fact that PTSD is the new RSI when it comes to publicity or the new buzz word if you like. It wasnt that long ago that PTSD was never discussed, was never known about. But now you hear it mentioned almost on a daily basis. I'm not sure if that is necesssarily a good thing either. I think in some respects, because everyone has now heard about it in news, discussions, etc, it has become too commonplace. And this seems to downplay the actual seriousness of the disorder. Despite all the publicity, its still not all that common, and it is a very serious and debilitating disorder. I am just not in favour of the 'buzz word' mentality surrounding things like this.

As for nightmares. I think for me perhaps its got more to do with the time of year being a trigger for me. The anniversary of my assault is coming up in March. It was hot at the time, despite being early autumn. So I guess I associate hot weather with the assault. Thus nightmares being worse in hot weather. Actually I cannot sleep with just a sheet at night, I have to have a light quilt. I just do not feel safe unless I have that little bit of security. So perhaps I tend to overheat because of that too. I dont really know, I'm still figuring a lot of things out for myself.

Anyway thanks, your advice is very helpful. Love being able to discuss all this with someone.

Amanda

[PamelaR]

Great to have a discussion Amanda about these things. Hopefully it helps others while helping ourselves.

No apologies necessary, I never thought you were making light of RSI. I thought you had a very valid point and think you're right that PTSD is now a 'buzz word'. There used to be a joke floating around the office about someone sitting there ticking off a list of buzz words during committee meetings - to see who got the highest score.

I think you're right there is an attitude out there about PTSD and mental health, but I'm not sure that the use of buzz words has increased or decreased that attitude. There is a huge range of issues in our society that have been kept behind locked doors and never discussed. PTSD is something as you say has been around for ages. I'm thankfully I can openly say to people now that i have PTSD. How they choose to view this, I have no control over, so I need to have the inner strength of my convictions, knowledge and experience to feel okay about myself. I don't need to have their validation. My GP, therapist, husband and close friends are enough.

Others it doesn't matter to me. Even other family members don't know or want to understand what it is. I think they think it's just a 'buzz word' - their response is - I'm over that I've put it out of my mind, there's nothing wrong with me. Hmmmm, well, both my brothers suffer significantly from trauma caused by child sexual abuse, emotional and psychological abuse. But to them PTSD is just a buzz word. How do you change this attitude?? I don't know.

What I do know is, there is a ground swell of changes internationally about sexual harassment, sexual abuse and the after affects on individuals, communities, culture and society at large.

Haven't yet touched on your security blanket.... It's good you have something that helps make you feel safe and warm. Anniversaries are the pits. Maybe you could go to the gym that day and get one of those boxing thingos that hang down - and pound it (hope this is allowed by the moderator). Not wanting to incite violence, alternatively use a pillow to thrash about, to scream at.

It's good to see you are focussed on you and you are helping you. Lovely to see.

As the little book 'Heart of Buddha' says -

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

[White_Rose]

Hello Amanda, wave to Pamela

Fascinating conversation between you both about PTSD. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a couple of years. She tells me I have been traumatised from childhood, through marriage and recently at the hands of two other people. She has not called it PTSD because she doesn't like labels. Various incidents in our lives can be classified as trauma.

I hope I have her words right. But it seems to me that rather than looking for a label it's better to look at what has happened and its probably effect on our future. In some ways it is like acknowledging you have a broken arm. If it's broken in one place I understand it's a simple fracture, and breaks in several places is a compound fracture. However it is the same injury. Treatment may vary according to the severity of the condition but it still produces the same symptoms including pain and poses the same or similar restrictions on our lives.

We cannot drive for example, dressing is a problem, and other difficulties from only having one usable arm. We normally don't think about these everyday actions until we cannot do something. Trauma seems to be like that and seems to make a sudden appearance. The worse the broken bone is the more likely we will have vivid memories of that time, as opposed to taking a layer of skin off the arm with a stumble.

So maybe it is easier to manage in our minds to say we have experienced some trauma(s) and now need to heal. Environment is often a factor. You tripped over and broke your arm, so manage the obstacle in some way.You have been traumatised because of ....... so manage the obstacle. I know this is a fairly simplistic approach and emotional and psychological traumas are harder to manage than a physical trauma. But I think the analogy fits.

Having someone compare your symptoms of trauma with a list in a book may not always address the whole problem. I think it's simply a way of pigeon holing us. Not of much value. I also think there is a danger of missing bits that do not fit the criteria and yet have a profound effect on us. A bit like acknowledging the obstacle that you tripped over and should not have there.

I hope this helpful to you ladies.

Mary

[PamelaR]

Thank you 😊 Mary. That is certainly a good way to look at it. Non use of labels! I found it quite useful.

[Guest8901]

Hello again Mary, and thanks for your thought provoking post. I must say that I'm far from comfortable with labels, especially this one of PTSD. I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about it. But your post made me think more about it. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that if someone was to know that I had PTSD, they would in turn also want to know the reason/s why. So naturally any discussion would involve explanations of things I'm not at ease in talking about. This might change after therapy, I dont know. But for now, I don't want anyone else to know of my diagnosis. I will be keeping it to myself, my GP and my clinical psychologist. And this community.

I wonder if, when you're on a MHCP and thus covered by Medicare, a formal diagnosis (and therefore a label) is needed for paperwork and qualification purposes? I suppose also that assessing the issue (diagnosis) also allows a therapist to determine the most effective or best practice therapy program to suit. After all different therapies tend to be more effective for different disorders. I accept that all therapy also needs to be tweaked to suit the individual as well.

Yes your story about the physical broken arm injury is a good analogy to compare a trauma 'injury' to. My psych said that trauma is like an injury to our psyche, so its quite similar to that. I agree with you that pidgeon holing can be very counter productive, as underlying issues can be easily missed. However I am happy to say that my psych, even though I've only been twice, appears to be very thorough and extremely perceptive. I'm pretty sure she'll get to the bottom of most things, provided I have the courage to allow her to.

Thanks Mary, your discussion is interesting and helpful.

Amanda

[PamelaR]

Hello Elizabeth CP

Your post has been forgotten. Sincerest apologies for the oversight. It's been busy in my household this last week. You asked do any of us

have effective strategies for PTSD related to natural disasters.

I can't imagine how it must have been to have gone through black saturday. Though I think I understand why you would have gone overseas and then wanted to return to Australia.

The triggers must feel all encompassing. The land around, something that you presumably loved previously now seen as 'threat'. My heart goes out to you. It must be extremely difficult for you. I haven't gone through anything like that, but I would imagine I'd be absolutely terrified.

I have seen your posts a little on some threads, but cannot recall everything. Since you've been back in Oz, have you a regular GP you go to? Have you thought about counselling? Sorry if you've already explained yourself elsewhere. I'm just conscious that it's taken so long to respond to your request. I didn't want to delay it further by searching the forums. Hope this is ok Elizabeth?

[White_Rose]

Hello Pamela and Amanda

I'm pleased I was able to give another view on mental health diagnosis. Discovering the cause of any illness and providing the correct medical response is a huge job and responsibility for MH and physical health practitioners. We know certain attributes tend to clump together, this goes with that or this causes that. But all attributes from DSM IV do not necessarily apply to everyone who is considered to have 'this' problem. To be considered to have 'this' requires many of the traits but not always all of them.

And your point Amanda, I suppose also that assessing the issue (diagnosis) also allows a therapist to determine the most effective or best practice therapy program to suit. After all different therapies tend to be more effective for different disorders. Absolutely. So long as the therapist does not confine him/herself to one or two therapies simply because these are considered the only way to treat someone with 'this'.

My comments have barely scratched the surface but as long as we keep working on what we need and have the support of a medical expert who is flexible enough to look outside the box, I think we can flourish.

Not certain about the GPMH. I suspect they need to put something in as a reason for asking for the psychologist fees to be partially covered, but what or how much I don't know even though I have been on one of these.

Enjoy your week ladies.

Mary

[PamelaR]

Hello Mary and Mandy

Thank you for your great post. It is very helpful. Especially when you talk about your therapist not just sticking to the one type of therapy. My best one took a holistic approach and used to use the whyteboard to demonstrate her points before starting to discuss ways of approaching a particular issue I was trying to address. Interestingly, she never 'labelled' the approach. It was extremely helpful to understand what was happening to my body, mind and soul. And to find a way forward that was suitable for me, my personality and my character. It's all so important.

I agree with you too about what the GP puts on the MHCP is all to do with Medicare requirements, and does not necessarily reflect the full gambit of an individuals situation and treatment. I worked in government too long I guess and am cynical.

You have a good week too.

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Everyone,

So much insight here, its a lot to take in. I really want to thank you for it. X

Regarding the term `Complex PTSD', I'm grateful for it, even if its just a term. I see it more as a framework for understanding and accepting my reactions and feelings, which are complicated but also understandable. Having a framework helps me feel like they are a normal reaction to my own life experiences, not something scary and unknown. Maybe that's just how I look at it.

I agree with how Pam explained that the significance of trauma is very personal. I also wanted to add, that it can be contextual. Just one example, a nasty word to a child may seem small, compared to the trauma a war vet may experience. But a lifetime of nasty words is a bigger experience, that can be every bit as traumatic.

Another example I can think of , is Gaslighting, where a Spouse mentally tortures their wife/husband with their worst and most powerful emotional fears (eg threats of abandonment, threats to cheat, put downs they know hurts the worst etc), and then just the smallest criticism can make them fall apart, like its a major traumatic event. Complex PTSD has a lot to do with context IMO.

Anyway, as we know, its complicated. But understandable and explainable. I found the most healing when I met people in recovery from very similar backgrounds to mine. Those have been really good years for me.

Hope you have a nice week too everyone:)

[White_Rose]

Hello Bindi

Great post and I most definitely agree. I once wrote an article for the office newsletter (worked in disability services) and titled it Now I Have A Label Where's My Pigeon Hole? I wish I had kept a copy. I know the people at the head office thought it was good because they printed it in their newsletter but without the courtesy of acknowledging the author.

You have painted my picture with my ex. And as you say, just one small word can set me off. Hardly surprising no one knows what happened and probably thinks I am nuts.

Having a framework is useful so long as it is not necessarily considered to be the whole picture. Pamela I agree about a flexible therapist. I think my psych does this a great deal and brings me back to where it all began so I can see the progression and reasons for my situation. Not always welcome but I suppose necessary. Not entirely convinced about that one yet.

Had a hectic weekend attending my son's engagement party and a family gathering the next day as my other was visiting from Melbourne. Absolutely pooped by Sunday night. Today much better.

Mary