Sharing strategies to help with PTSD

[PamelaR]

One of my biggest learnings has been - PTSD is not like a broken arm. When you break your arm, it mends. PTSD is with you for life. It took me ages to recognise that I'd been triggered. Some of the simplest things - like going to the shopping centre at the beginning of winter and seeing the multi-colour shirts - red, blue, black squares. The hardest part for me is identifying the trigger because the pacing heart, the sweats, the panic, the fear doesn't happen immediately. It happens after I walk out of the shopping centre.For the first few years after being diagnosed with PTSD I was hell bent on identifying the trigger. Now - I don't worry. I simple accept I'm triggered - do my breathing, relaxation to beautiful music, write down my feelings and emotions, talk with my husband. Let him know I've been triggered. Most times my cats won't come near me while I'm working through a 'phase', but they certainly know when I've come out the other side. They come and give me lots of comfort and love. The down side of how I manage is to drink alcohol - to stop the feelings and emotions. It doesn't work, but it helps go to sleep. I'm not recommending drinking as a strategy!!

I have had 2 excellent psychologists that helped me. It's important to find someone other than those close to you to talk to. One was very good at helping me identify what was happening - e.g. being super alert, wanting to save or please people. Recognising these things helped to build better relationships with my work colleagues and my friends. I have conversations in my head - oh, you just want to please because something has frightened you. Then I say - you're okay, you're safe, you can say what you need to.

Basically, the strategy of self talk in a challenging way - I challenge what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. But I also recognise the little girl who screams out when things happen and comfort her. Very important to know she hurts terribly and needs comfort. The comfort she never received as a child.

[eloop]

well good to read the posts seems they are all from females I am a male still trying to come to terms with this ptsd stuff seems like it is multi layered and isolating I live in a small country town I just want to hide away the fear some days is so bad. I have been of booze and drugs for 8 yrs and was only diagnosed with ptsd 18 months ago and I am nearly 60 its been a painful journey abandonment violence homelessness divorce on dissabilaty its a really uphill battle at times but reading posts gives me hope

[PamelaR]

Hello eloop. Thank you for sharing. So glad to hear that you have 'hope'. Yes, I can have my down time, but I have far more happy times these days.

Yes, you're right, we are all females. I think we do tend to talk about our feelings and thoughts more than males, possibly because you guys aren't encouraged to do so. But I think that is all changing now - for the better. Maybe there are men out there who are reading the thread......here is someone you might like to chat too.

Talking for me is a great way to help reduce my symptoms. I'm in the process of finding a new psychologist to talk with, but I've really needed to yabber on. Beyond Blue has been so easy for me. I've been aware of the site for years, but never could bring myself to use it. I think it was my recent triggering and my desperation to settle my pounding heart that brought me here.

[PamelaR]

Dear Bindi

Wow, you never cease to amaze and impress me. The things you have done in your life are marvellous. The arrangement of sound tracks for documentaries and short films at such a young age is extraordinary, then to go on a teaching at uni. Not to mention your film festival awards - how good is that!

You know what truly amazes me, that we obviously both have some heavy duty baggage we have carried throughout our lives, but look at the wondrous things we've both done. No matter what the rotters did to us, we've survived and come up trumps... Really you can't get better than that.

About Woodford, yes I'd love to go, but ..... I couldn't take the crowd. I have gone to many smaller festivals around Australia. Big crowds trigger me.

Folkies are like most - you get your really great people and you can get some really unpleasant people. Again, I'm a little like you I tend to keep people at a distance, other than my partner who I feel safe with and trust. He doesn't invade my space or mind. He's there when I need him to hold onto.

[bindi-QLD]

I want to welcome you too, eloop. We understand here how difficult it is to live with intense stress caused by trauma; the way we cope by avoiding thinking about it, and numbing ourselves in other ways. It seems a quiet forum, perhaps it is a reflection of just how stressful it feels for traumatized people just to remember. I know sometimes I feel that way; can't write, feel stressed just thinking about it. Don't want stress.

I thought it was brave of you to write down what happened to you. I understand how stressful doing that can feel. What I really like about creating this support group together, is we all understand. You can say a little, or say a lot. It all helps, and there's no pressure here.

Like Pam, I'd really like to welcome anyone to this group, who feels the need for understanding and a little support with the tough times. You're not alone.

[bindi-QLD]

Dear Pam,

Meeting you has made me feel very happy, I was telling my partner Stu that yesterday:) He was very happy as well, he knows I get a little isolated. On purpose 🙂

Thank you so much for your praise and encouragement, I really appreciate it:) I give a lot of credit to online support groups, and being steered in the right direction when I was still very young. I've had help from a lot of good people, from when I was 21, it made such a huge difference.

[Bethie]

Its taken me sometime to post here sorry. I suffer PTSD thanks to 2011 floods and its hard sometimes even on meds but i know my limits and what to avoid also have a emergency list i keep in my car of safe roads in flooded areas.

My husband suffers chronic PTSD and tried everything. Its hard because his PTSD is from active clasified military service but with help from anti anxiety/anti depressants and natural help he now leads as close to a normal life as possible. He knows the importance of not getting over tired, over stressed or hungry. If he does i have to step in and help. Luckly these days its normally a case of stopping the stressful situation or making him a sandwich. Way better than a few months ago where the police and ambulance would regularly come to pur house to take him to phyc under the mental health act.

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Pam, Bethie, and everyone:)

This thread really makes me appreciate the different forms of PTSD, and how each type of trigger may need to be managed differently. Bethie your situation sounds very difficult, hugs to you hon. I'm glad you found some solutions that work well for both you and your husband. You have been through a very difficult time, I'm so sorry; that must have felt scary with people coming to your house and taking your husband away for a while. I'm glad you found a good solution.

Thanks for joining in 🙂

[Guest8901]

Hi PamelaR, and thanks so much for your reply to me back on 14th Jan. I've seen my GP yesterday and have been put on a MHCP and been referred to a Clinical Psychologist (specialising in trauma) for assessment, diagnosis and treatment as appropriate.

I was just wondering if anyone here has any tips or strategies for coping with the anniversary of traumatic experiences?

In the leadup to the anniversary of my trauma, my anxiety always becomes considerably worse. Plus I've noticed that I have extremely life-like vivid dreams related to the event. Possibly the anxiety in general, causes this, but I dont really know. I do know it means I'm simply too afraid to sleep when this happens.

So given that anniversaries of the event appear to be a trigger for me (and probably most people), what are some strategies in helping to lessen the impact during those times?

Amanda

[bindi-QLD]

Hi Amanda,

Thanks heaps for coming back and letting us know about seeing your GP and the mental health plan. That sounds very good Amanda! I like that your psychologist specializes in trauma, that should be very helpful.

I'm sorry you're going through a bad trigger at the moment, just before you have the professional help you need. Please be careful with your sleep. Without sleep, anxiety can become panic, and then its even harder to sleep. I went through something like that leading to the mental breakdown I had once. I was in a state of panic for two weeks, and sleep became virtually impossible. If you feel anything like that, and you're not getting the sleep you need, I feel it is better to see your GP before it gets worse.

When is your first appointment with the psychologist? Hopefully you can get to them soon, they will be sure to help.

[PamelaR]

Hi Mandy

So pleased to hear things are progressing for you. I agree with everything Bindi has posted.

Just a couple of other things that might help. There are 2 triggers for me.

One at Christmas time when I had a daughter on boxing day and she only lived 10 minutes. So Christmas has never been the same (35 years on) and I still go down. Now, not as bad as I did before I realised what was happening. My husband and I talk about her and raise a glass of wine and talk about how old she would have been.

The other is no specific date, but it was 'red, blue and black checked' shirts. I see them in the stores every winter. From my husband's idea and my psych's agreement, I bought a shirt - from Lifeline and we ceremonially burnt it!! I cried and cried. It has helped, hasn't depleted the trigger completely, but now when I face the shops in winter, I think myself as a tiger walking through the centre - no one is going to mess with me. The panic still comes, but I'm aware of it and ready with my breathing. It seems to have reduced over time. Not sure it will ever completely disappear.

Not sure if this helps any. I think part of the journey is knowing your triggers. You are obviously aware of this. One of the biggest things I've found is fearing fear is worse than the trigger. Not sure that makes sense, but happy to explore it further if you want to.