Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Darling friend/beautiful b: That book sounds wonderful. I’m excited for you. I would love to hear how your print project goes...

Congratulations on your garlic. It must be so rewarding to plant them & watch the progress. Nature is beautiful 🙂

I have seen cashew yoghurts around, but haven’t tried it. I’ll definitely keep that in mind when I need to do a grocery shop. Sounds delicious!

I’m not feeling inspired at all, as it’s hard to feel inspired when I’m feeling claustrophobic...

Every time that I think about heading out, I ask myself “is this essential ?” Sighs...

Kitty O’Meara has some wonderful ideas, but it’s really more for introverts & homebodies...I like her sentiment, but it’s not necessarily easy to implement if you’re used to being out a lot...

What is dominating my mood/mind is how I feel so trapped that I don’t have energy to create. My mind just keeps thinking, “I want to leave my home!”

So yes, that’s me climbing up the wall (laughs). It’s not so much the virus that makes anxious, but the confinement to one space...

Thank you for thinking of me & checking in on this cranky extrovert (laughs).

What else do you have planned this week, & have your previous stressors eased?

Love you xoxox

Gorgeous Grandy: well spotted, I’m like spider man with the wall climbing 😉

Gentle hugs, it’s okay, don’t worry about it...thank you...

I love that you have your movies. It sounds as though they really lift your spirit.

Sorry, I’m afraid that I’m not much of a movie buff. I don’t mind a movie or show from time to time, but I don’t really watch shows regularly. It’s because my mind wanders a lot during movies & shows...

I find books & creative endeavours work better for me, as I’m “doing” something if that makes sense...but not feeling too inspired right now as I feel really trapped...

I’m glad you’re enjoying the weather. Your surroundings sound picturesque...I love cockatoos. Beautiful...

Love & care accepted & reciprocated...thank you, lovely one...

Anyway, off to climb walls now 😉 xoxo

[Birdy77]

Hey beautiful friend,
Hey gorgeous Grandy.

Spoiler alert: this is going to be a really crappy post.

I just want to touch base with you though, see how how our extrovert is managing.

I saw on your 30secs thread that you got out and about which helped your wellbeing, I'm glad.

I know there's conflicting advice floating, but i thought meeting up woth 1 or 2 friends is ok, if you keep the 1.5m rule, you're all healthy and especially ok if you're outside - maybe meet up for a walk or a picnic?

It's your decision, and i knkw there's advice coming out from other countries that go against what we've been told about social distancing ... anyway ...

I just wanted to check in.

I'll reply to both of your posts later ❤

🌻b xo
🌻birds xo

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

Lovely friend, perhaps the question should be how are you doing?

I know that it hasn’t been an easy time for you, & that you’re still readjusting to daily life...it’s going to be a long road for you, my friend...gentle hugs

Not that I really understand or know what it feels like, but I’m holding my hand out to you & you have a friend in me. I know it’s not much when it comes down to it, but it’s still (a little) something...

I’m always here listening if you ever feel like chatting about anything. Hugs, my friend...

I’m trying to manage my claustrophobic feelings... I feel as though the walls are about to close in on me (laughs), as I don’t deal well with feelings of confinement...

Part of what has helped me with a recent loss is having close friends & family around, but a huge chunk of my support system has been cut off for an indefinite period...

Yes, theoretically, being outdoors and maintaining at least 1.5m distance is okay. The only issue is that I have to cross paths with a lot of other people to get to any park or beach, so I’m trying to be cautious...

I’m not that worried about me or my fiends, but about the risk of unknowingly infecting people who are immunosuppressed (i.e. if we had it & just didn’t know or had not developed symptoms yet). That’s my real concern...

As for extended family, some are 60+ or have health issues, so I’m not seeing them (for now) for their sake...just in case...I just don’t want to take that risk.

Better safe than sorry though 😉

But in good news, On the Edge arrived. So if I can get my mind to stop fixating over my irrational fear of confinement in the one space (laughs), maybe we can both read it some time?

I was feeling claustrophobic today (nothing new) & I just wished silently to the sky/universe/whoever to give me a sign that everything was going to be okay.

Not long after my wish, I saw 2 of the most precious white butterflies. Their white wings were lined with black edges.

First two butterflies that I had seen in 2020 🙂

Thank you so much for making time for me, and being here for me, especially when I know you’re hurting, traumatised and struggling to get out and about...

If it’s too much to respond to my older posts, that’s okay, just gently let it go, my friend. It’s okay....it really is...

Thinking of you, sending hope and love xoxox

[Birdy77]

Thanks darling.

I will respond to older posts, (because i want to), but fir now chattimg feels good.

I totally understand and completely agree with your decision about going out!! I actually don't think we're doing enough, as a nation, considering what other countries are doing ...but definitely better to be safe than sorry.

I understand your worry for your family members, I'm worried too. I am not sure the my parents are taking it seriously enough, which is a worry with their age and health issues. Looks like mum's cancer might be back, and dad's got heart probs etc.

Anyhoo ... Come To The Edge! Oh i have a confession, i started it without you! I was going to tell you yesterday and then forgot!

It is so "out there"!! Wooh!! jeez louise!!

I hope it can distract you a little from your cabin fever?

I know you're not into movies so much etc, but have you watched the series "The Durrells"?

❤

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

Lovely friend, a big hug. I‘m very sorry that your mum’s cancer has returned. Also, your dad’s heart issues. That is very worrying... the uncertainty of it all can’t be easy...it’s heavy...

Sigh, I feel sometimes the lower risk groups are more worried than higher risk groups...it’s a strange time in this world...

I agree that maybe, as a nation, we aren’t taking social distancing as seriously as we should. The whole point is to “flatten the curve,” but everyone needs to play their part for that to happen...

Wow, excuse me, you started reading the book without me?

Laughs, you’re forgiven this time but please don’t make a habit of it 😉

The book sounds trippy, which probably matches my current state of mind (laughs).

I haven’t watch The Durrells. Is that something you have been watching?

How is your cooking going and have you felt inspired by your new art print book?

With love xoxox

[Birdy77]

😃 ikr?! How dare i? Sorry!! But i did start it without you - it's really trippy. I'll wait to hear when you've started it b4 i say anything further.

Yes, the older generations can be stubborn, cynical, etc, mine seem to have a "she'll be right" attitude which is good at times, but also frustrating at others. How about your elders? What's their attitude?

I am about to start Season 4 of The Durrells. It is the sweetest series! Set in Corfu, it's so quaint and lovely. It took me a few episodes to get into it, but then i adored it!

This Is Us i know I've already raved about to you (such a beautiful series).

Just thought I'd mention some, you might want to look up during this "in iso" time!

I watched a few episodes of The Good Place, it took me a couple to get into it, but i think it's better as it goes along. Kristen Bell is vegan so: 👍👌👍😃

Our friends recommended a series called Grace and Frankie, they said it was brilliant. We watched almost all of season 1 and laughed maybe twice, so ... i don't know. I read reviews that said it gets better with age (i think it's up to season 7 now) ... so maybe we'll give it another go. Have you seen it?

Oh, the print workshop book looks awesome! It's so practical and straightforward, so i reckon I'll definitely try a project or two over the coming days. Will keep you posted! Do you have any ideas lined up yet?

Cooking? I went nuts the other day and made a few different curries to put in the freezer, amd made some pies/pastries also, was in the mood.

Maybe you could use home-time to experiment with a new plantbased recipe???😉😉😉

[Ggrand]

Hello Birds..

Sweetheart I’m sorry to hear that your mums cancer is back...that’s so sad..my dil is fighting brain cancer..and it’s a horrid disease...my heart goes out to you...also with your dad and his heart problems.....So much sadness to deal with....my best wishes for them both...

Hello Peppy...How beautiful is that..that your both reading the same book....I wonder if you both get the same interpretations about the book....

Good night lovely ladies...I really hope that you both have a peaceful and happy week end....same goes for all listening...

Love to you both...with some comfy hugs..and a beautiful rose wash 🌹🌹..

Grandy...xx

[Peppermintbach]

Darling friend/beautiful b (& a wave to all),

As trippy is my current state of mind, I’m sure that I’ll enjoy Edge of the world 🙂

Sigh, I don’t know about other families. But in mine (as it seems to be in yours), quite a few have a somewhat flippant attitude towards it.

It’s a bit worrying...the attitude amongst some of my older extended family is a warped sense of invincibility. That “everyone else” will contract it, but not them...

I’m glad you’re enjoying your shows. I looked up The Durrell’s, & it does seem like an interesting storyline. Somewhat different to a lot that’s out there 🙂

I watched a bit of Grace & Frankie. I enjoyed the interesting characters, but it felt a little repetitive after a while so I stopped watching it...the cast were incredible though in their roles.

So happy that the print workshop is giving you good ideas. Nothing like a bit of inspiration. I would I love to hear updates on your project if you don’t mind sharing 🙂

I’m impressed by your enthusiasm & productivity. That is a lot of cooking. I’m sure the curries, pies & pastries are all very tasty. Well done!

A couple of my friends are also feeling claustrophobic, so in a way, it’s comforting to know it’s not just me. We are making plans to celebrate when this whole thing settles...sadly not any time soon...

I think, if I can manage the anxiety (claustrophobia), I’m hoping to draw more. There are some skills that I wish to refine for a move towards a more creative career. I’m figuring out my plan...I have a vision.

My ultimate goal is mastery. Not to compete with anyone else, but against the standard that I hold myself to...

I‘m not necessarily learning anything new, but refining what I know. I suppose that’s learning too though...

I want to do what I do really well...I’m nowhere near “there” yet though...

If there are any easy plant based recipes, feel free to share. I won’t be too far from the kitchen these days 😉

It was nice to chat...

Sending love xoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (& a wave to all),

Sorry, I didn’t see your post when I was relying to birdy, hence posting again. Sorry about that. I hope that’s okay...

Thank you, lovely birdy actually recommended the book to me & suggested we could both try to read it. So credit goes to her for the ingenious idea 😉

Your love, hugs & well wishes are felt by me, & I’m giving you some warm hugs as well.

Thank you for thinking of me. I hope you’re being gentle with yourself especially as your dil is struggling. I know how worried you are, but I know she is surrounded by love & that counts for something...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Birdy77]

Hi beautiful friend ❤
Hi there Grandy ❤

Thank you both for your wishes about mum and dad.

Mum had a scan done yesterday and yes the cancer is back, so more surgery and treatment coming up for her unfortunately.

I'm worried of course about all the extra people she will be exposed to and have to come into contact with because of it.

This whole scenario is pretty scary.

Pep are you able to work from home at all now? A couple of friends are now doing that. Which is great because up until last Friday they had to commute on busy trains ...

How are you holding up with everything?

I might write again a bit later, i just wanted to check in with you, say hello and send love ❤ also battery is nearly flat, so I'll save the rest for later.

❤
🌻b xo

🌻birds xo