Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Ggrand]

Dear Gentle Peppy,

If it’s okay I would like to sit quietly next to you, and to reassure you that it’s okay to be you...and if you identify with both your eastern heritage and the western heritage and they make you who you are...

Embrace them both Peppy..challenge them if you must...live and think from a bit of both...your special dear lady...your unique. one of a kind.....only you can be you..and I think your awesome...

Peppy....l🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀...7 lucky 4 leaf clovers...Make one wish daily for 7 days....I hope they come true for you...💚💚..

Birdy I hope your doing okay as well beautiful lady..🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻...7 Lucky sunflowers...Make a wish daily for 7 days....I hope they also come true for you..

Love and hugs dear Peppy and Birdy..💜🤗🤗..

Grandy...

[Birdy77]

Hello Friend,

It is absolutely, totally ok for you to identify with parts, or take parts of different ideas, cultures, philosophies, teachings! Whatever speaks to your soul and helps guide you on your way is right for you and you can pick and choose those pieces to customise support for your soul.

There is something so peaceful and grounding in many eastern teachings. What I like a lot about many of them is that they are very empowering, about going inward, and finding your own truth and your own path, peace and power rather than looking for it in an external deity.

Do you have any favourite teachers/books etc?

I think that your recent lesson about life is probably universally spot on. I don't think life will ever be pain-free, pain and suffering are just part of being alive, and yes, it's about learning how to carry it the best you can, and accepting it and having compassion for yourself in that pain, and also having compassion for the pain itself:

A lesson i remember reading from Thich Nhat Hanh about the practice of welcoming the painful feelings or the suffering, I think he might have been talking about Anger in the example I'm thinking of (I will try to find it on my bookshelf later), and giving them (the feelings) space and love and compassion as you feel them. He gave an example something like "oh hello Anger, it's you again, come here and I will take care of you and give you the love and attention that you need" ... it can sound a smidgen absurd (which can also be helpful) but it's also really beautiful; To acknowledge these feelings that we might think of as negative or destructive, and treat them with patience, love and understanding can be a really moving and transformative practice.

I'm not sure why that came up, but I think I needed reminding of it, so thank you my friend 😊

I'm glad you are leaning into whatever will support and empower you as you work through the difficulties and suffering that you are facing right now. During my darkest times, I have felt truly upheld listening to dharma talks and reading beautiful wisdom from eastern spirituality. Whatever supports your precious spirit and helps you to be you should be held in your heart like a treasure.

Love,

🌻birdy xo

Grandy, thank you so much for the seven daily wishes with my lucky sunflowers! You are a lovely lady. xo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi to all the lovely people,

Gorgeous Grandy: of course it’s okay for you to keep us company here. Your warm presence is always something very welcome and to be treasured 🙂

Thank you for your very uplifting and encouraging words. Aren’t you lovely? Alway trying to build others up. We love that about you...

7 four leaf clovers is very special, thank you so much. I love it! I’ll have to think about how I want to use my 7 wishes...thinking away now

Love and hugs accepted and reciprocated xoxo

Beautiful birdy/dear friend: As always, your presence, thoughts and friendship are most welcome here and are things that I hold close to heart 🙂

I’m glad that you’ve found comfort and reassurance in a way that works for you/resonates with you. It sounds like you’ve found some of that in eastern teachings, dear friend.

I recall you have mentioned (quoted) Thich Nhat Hahn a few times before. It sounds like he has had a profound, but positive, influence on you.

You seem to be working through a lot of difficult emotions at the moment...obviously there’s no pressure or obligation, but if you ever want to talk about it, just know we’re all here for you. I think of you often, and send my love and care...

I don’t know if maybe this sounds strange to you or not, but I don’t actually have a favourite teacher/book on eastern teachings/philosophies. I feel as though you’re probably much more well read in this area than me 😉

I think the reason is because of my heritage/family, I grew up amidst its teachings. All that I know, I learnt directly from family and relatives in the way that we interacted, nuances in language and expression, values, habits and customs, etc. So it was all incorporated into our daily lives, almost as tacit knowledge.

Thank you again for being here. It truly does mean a lot, and I’m always grateful for your friendship.

Is it okay if I ask how have you been?

Much warmth and love xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hiya lovely Peppystar 🤗 and y/our beautiful friends 😊 and readers

Peps I'm so sorry its taken so long to get here for you, I read what you said and kept meaning to get back, for a wee while I wasnt posting much.

I think its great taking some teachings or learnings from different places, I think like life we learn from many different sources and people. I'm glad you said somes helping you get through. I want to see you happy Peps you're such a lovely Peppy 🤗 yes a bit generous with hugs today ..hymmm 🤔 ..wonder if she'll be just as generous with 🍫 and she might even give me 2, one for Grandy

I hope you're having some goods happening in your life huns

Know your one that's in my thoughts. Much love to you dear friend. ☘⚘🌴

Hey Tweety hope you too are going better it's awful knowing people you love and care about are struggling. 🤗

Sending 😊 to everyone and 😆

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and a wave to all),

How lovely it is to see you here 🙂 This is my late thank you for visiting.

What a caring post. It was very heart warming and I’m so glad we are friends. It means a lot that you’re thinking of me and that you took the time to reach out to me...

Your love is happily accepted and reciprocated. You and Grandy can both have more than 2 choccie bars from my stash. Free of charge 😉

Super soul hugs and much love xoxo

[Birdy77]

Hello Friend 😊

I am sorry it has taken me such a long time to reply to you. I have been in a bad place, and after a stressful and pretty wretched time (culminating in mrs b and i having a fight (which is not something we do, It Was Awful) and a lot of tears), I think things are now improving, after reaching a low point. Sorry for all the confusing parentheses. I've been planting flowering bulbs and garlics and vegetables the last couple of weeks and have started on some improvements to the house which have all been things that have helped me to start feeling good.


In response to your last message, no I don't think it sounds strange that you don't have a favourite teacher/book in which you find refuge. It makes sense that it's all sort of an intrinsic part of your life as you were raised with those teachings as part of your everyday. I have a few that I really like, Pema Chödrön, Jack Cornfield among them, and a few fave books that I retreat to in times of darkness and despair.

How have things been going for you? I would love to hear how you are. I think of you often, even when I don't post.


We had some friends come to stay and I made lots of vegan goodies, I thought of you and wished you could have joined in.

Anyway I would love to hear how things are going for you when/if you feel up to it.

Sending my love,

🌻birdy xo

Deebs, thank you as always for your love and care. Sending love to you and your bbff as ever - I hope you lovely ladies are taking good care of yourselves, and everyone else reading Pepper's thread. Be well. xo

[Peppermintbach]

Dear friend/beautiful birdy (and a wave to all),

How lovely is it to see you here 🙂 As always, I’m gently extending my hand in friendship....I know things have been very rough on you lately...

The low point sounds like a truly horrendous and frightening place to be. The fight with your beloved must have been heart breaking. Fights with loved ones tend to be the most painful...

But I’m very happy that there seems to have been a turning point. I suppose when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up, or however that famous saying goes...then again, I think you knew what you had to do all along, but it was just a matter of processing your feelings, facing yourself and perhaps just needing time...

I know how much the garden nurtures and rejuvenates you, so I’m glad you’re spending time there 🙂 I hope the home renovations/additions are coming along nicely too, but perhaps more importantly, it’s helping to lift your spirits.

I have just been bothered about a range of things. Sometimes, I would think about writing here about certain things. But more often than not, I would back out as I usually feel it’s the smartest decision, all things considered.

Unfortunately, and how I wish this was not the case, culture can be a difficult conversation to have/get others to understand empathetically. As I am from a CALD background myself and part of a cultural minority (or call me what you will), this is an important & personal conversation.

I spent almost a lifetime rejecting my cultural heritage to “fit in” or I was (still am sometimes) even directly or indirectly told/reminded of my cultural “otherness” or “non-belonging.” I think when you try to reject something that is such a core part of yourself (as I have for years & years), inevitably the floodgate opens as it has recently... I’m still wrapping my head around culture & identity and what that means to me. It’s a work in progress.

But, as I mentioned, this is usually not an easy or straightforward conversation. (Multiple) past experiences have left me feeling hurt and disheartened, so it makes me wary and somewhat jaded. I don’t mean by you or anyone else here, but I’m just speaking in general terms. So this sometimes comes out as relative silence on my thread...

Anyway, the treats that you made for your friends and mrs b sound delicious. I would have loved to have been there for the wonderful company and food. Lucky them 🙂

Much love from me xoxox

[Ggrand]

Happy Easter Peppy.....and birdie...

I hope you are doing well lovely ladies...💕.

I’m just popping in to deliver some yummy Easter chocolate 🍫 for you both..Oh and Mrs b as well...I really hope you both are doing better then okay....inside the biggest chocolate 🍫 is a crystal jar full of belief...When you start doubting yourselves please just open the little crystal jar and it will remind you of your inner strength and how strong you are...

Love and hugs..💕🤗.

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

Thank you so very much for the special present and well wishes. But perhaps more importantly, thank you so much for thinking of me when I know you’ve been struggling and hurting...

The crystal jar is absolutely stunning! What a thoughtful and kind touch that you put a reminder of inner strength in it.

I know it will come in handy in times of struggle. I’ll cherish it, lovely one. Thank you again for your kindness and generosity, lovely one

Much love and care xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Thank you so much for being here and for writing and/or reading 🙂 Thank you all for your presence and support...just sharing some scattered thoughts of mine.

I have a lot on my mind lately, and I’m trying to introduce some major changes in my life. I’m a little tired and somewhat over it...

Trying to unify the fragmented parts of myself. I once said to UB, it’s like having raw material, but not knowing what to do with it (or even what it’s for)...

Trying to deal with problems and trying to move forward too...problems and issues remain but it’s not really about that. I think there will always be problems, struggles and pain (that’s just life), but it’s about how I carry it...figuring out the carrying part as well...

Kind thoughts to all and thank you again,

Pepper xoxo