Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

Once again, a BIG thank you for the gorgeous messages of support (and for anyone else who is reading).

I have met my new psych this week (cue wildly immature groan). I don't mind him, I guess. But it's too hard to tell what I think of him at this point...he's okay, I guess. I need more time to figure out what I think of him.

I did feel quite drained by the end of the session even though we didn't really get into too much depth. Mostly him trying to learn my background and asking me what I wanted from the sessions. I think it's a positive sign that he asked because it hints at a collaborative approach (as opposed to the more "bossy" psychs that exist...and let's just say "bossy" does not sit well with feisty Pepper lol).

Kind thoughts to all,

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Dear big sis pepper

Im sorry i havent been here as much for you as you are for me.

im so sorry for your loss. Sending lots and lots of hugs ❤

Im glad that you still went to your psychologist. I know its really hard for you so im extra proud. Im glad he/she sounds suitable. I hope that you continue to build up your realtionship so that your able to feel comfortable to express your true feelings and innermost demons.

Again im super proud. Sending lots of lil sis (and butterfly) hugs to you

XXoxoxoxo ❤❤❤

[Peppermintbach]

Oh Butterfly Wings,

Please don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for...you have had more than your share of struggles, trauma and pain. I love having you here on this thread (thank you)but I am glad you were putting yourself first (self care 101 lol).

Besides, you were here for me...in spirit...and in Buttefly form too 😉

Thank you, I really appreciate the condolences ❤️

Aw...thanks, I'll see how things go. He seems okay but I've only had one session with him so it's hard to judge but I do like how he seems to want a collaborative approach 🙂

Big sis hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

I knew you woukd understand but i still wanted to help. You guys are really the only ones that care and are real family and i couldn't be here to help. Your helping me and you have enough struggles of your own as well. But i know i wont win we have fiery stubborn pepper out now so no use arguing ; -)

Itd hard to tell off the first psychology session but im hoping this one will be thr right one and help you. Im hearing you on bossy i had one of those and in thr same sentence contradicted herself by saying if i dont tell her the whole story today she cant help me but im (me) the one who sets the pace. Think about that one for stupid hey.

Yours sounds like he wants to work WITH you and i find that important esp when having to go through painful memories. So im hoping this one will do this for you.

But if it doesnt work out thats ok too and your entitled to change and theres no shame in it. Alot of us changed more than once before finding the right one

Good luck with it all and will be looking forward to updates when you want to share.

Sending lot and lots and lots of warm squishy lil sis hugs xoxoxox

[demonblaster]

Peps I'm so glad to have the privilege of getting to know & meeting you, you have such a big heart, so supportive and kind to people, with YOUR struggles too. You boost people, sweet it's an honour being part of your life, don't change hun.

Thankyou darlin, yeah I saw that beautiful heart post, wow, more people like you and so many beauts here, that's what we need in this world. Makes ya feel better about yourself when people say stuff like that, that they do in RL too & lately I've started to believe in myself more. Getting there mate YEAH

Yeah looks like it's sorted & I did have hacking activity but still majorly suss on the guy that I spoke too, alarm bells were going nuts but hopefully got onto help quickly enough.
Hey I rang internet provider & scored a NEW TABLET FREE....jumping up and down doin happy dance.... Yeah baby, stoked or what! Been wanting one forever ...puffing from happy dance

There's others here I speak highly of too but believe me I mean it.

Hope you're ok hun & listening to your music, sad stuff helps, on you for working out a coping mechanism, btw read back a few on Startings thread & was esp impressed on a particular post from you, (enjoy them all) you gave so much solid advice. Hope you know what a beautiful chooky you are

Glad the tears were moving & not OMG what's the bach 😉 saying to me!!!

Take really good care lovely friend.

Biggly hugs if you're a hugger sweet thing xx

[swtpotato]

ay there pep

What a wonderful being you are

I am glad your new psychologist sounds alright - how do you feel having made the decision to go back? what an accomplishment.

I haven't really read much of your thread still I should really be studying rn but wanted to say hi (again)

Hope your day goes okay today

m

[Wilma1]

Hi Pepper, words don't come easy for me, that's nothing new around the forum, but I see we speak the same language in one area, so I'm sharing a song that means a lot to me sung by Westlife, but I think many others had done a version also. Words are:

When I am down, and, my soul, so weary

When troubles come, and my heart burdened be

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence

Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

I am strong when I am on your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be.

Repeated from you raise me up twice.

If you find time to listen the tune reaches the deep aches. Hope you enjoy. W

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Once again, a very grateful thank you for all the love and encouragement 🙂

It really does give me a lift reading your messages, and moreover, knowing the time and effort spent on the replies despite each and every one of you having your own troubles.

Thank you...

Winged lil sis (SN)- aw, I'm moved. Thank you.

As is often quoted:

I don't care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching-they are your family.

- Jim Butcher

So here's to family in all its guises but above all, it's the people who are there when it counts. Thanks for being there, Little Wings 😉

Your comment about how there's no use arguing with "fiery Pepper" gave me a chuckle 😉 That's right, fiery and feisty sums it up. Lol.

Yeah, I agree that it's hard to judge purely based on 1 session unless the psych does something glaringly good or bad. The psych you mentioned does sound like she was too pushy and contradictory.

I love "squishy lil sis" hugs but I'll give you gentle hugs in return as Im mindful of your recent surgery.

Sending love and kind thoughts your way ❤️

DB- aw, I don't even know what to say other than thank you. You are, as always, beautiful in how you try to build me up.

I'm glad people both on and offline are appreciating you more. More importantly, I'm happy to hear your self esteem is growing. I hope it continues to do so till you get to a point where you feel settled and confident within yourself.

Thanks for your comments about my posts on Butterfly's threads (waves to SN). Admittedly, upwards of 90% of the time, I'm just "winging it" and hoping for the best....

Thanks, I've grown to appreciate these virtual hugs so I'll take up your offer and give you some hugs too 🙂

Love,

Pepper xoxo ❤️❤️❤️

[Peppermintbach]

Hi again,

As always, I appreciate anyone who reads and/or replies. It does help to have the emotional support.

Thank you.

m- thanks! I'm feeling a teeny but vulnerable and "thrown" after my first psych appointment. Not because we had a big D&M but just because it's a readjustment process for me.

Thanks for swinging by. Hopefully studying goes okay...all the best and I'll see you around.

Wilma- hello, thank you and welcome 🙂 It means a lot that you wrote especially when I realise you sometimes struggle to find the words. Speaking of which, I think you're doing spectacularly in the words department- I hope you will see this too one day 🙂

Yes, yes...you and I do share the same "language" (check my avatar lol).

It means a lot when people share their favourite songs and pieces. As though they're sharing a "piece" of themselves so thank you...I am very grateful.

I have heard of that song before...it's a very powerful and emotional one. Thank you for sharing this song that means so much to you with me...

Love,

Pepper xoxo ❤️

[startingnew]

Hey Peps


I love that quote. It is so very true!


Aww thats cute I love it 'little wings'


your the storm peps of course your fiery and fiesty. When you strike thats it and thats sometimes what we all need. Im grateful when it rains though im terrified of lightning I must admit but I wouldnt change you for anything at all.


When Is your next psychologist appoointment? I hope that they help you. I really do.


Well I can give you squishy hugs, im sure when these sutures are out there will be an incoming big sis hug

love you loads

xoxoxox