Sad musings

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure what to say other than I'm just on edge, cranky and sad at the same time. I'm aware of helplines, doctors, mental health plans, mindfulness, CBT, smiling mind app, distractions, doing things we love, etc, etc. I feel as though I've hit a wall...

I know that I want to make some sort of change or changes but I'm unsure of the nature of this change. A general feeling of unease. When you're deeply unhappy but you're not even 100% sure why.

Seriously, this all probably seems kind of vague and I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve here, and I know that no one has the answer except for me (whatever that is...throws hands up in frustration).

All I can say is I think life is difficult and often painful. It's the daily, in-between moments that I find the hardest. Sometimes I wonder if brief moments of reprieve is as good as it gets.

Pepper

[demonblaster]

Peps so sorry for your loss hun, meant to say that first off before the rest of other post. xx

[Cesca1557]

hey pepper,
just quickly checking in before i head off to bed

how was your weekend away/weekend to get back in touch with yourself and reality??

hope it was relaxing and not too stressful or difficult in any way.
thinking of you

sending big hugs and big thanks for your support on my thread tonight xx

[monkey_magic]

Pepper I also want to say sorry for your loss...& to say I understand how it feels as I've been through lots of losses...well wishes & hopes darling (( ))

[Pysis]

Hi, pepper.

how are you?

nath

[swtpotato]

Hey pepper,

not sure why it's taken so long to find your thread.

I am posting now just to say I'll be around and to get in on my notifications 🙂 I'll have to try catch up on what's been happening later.

You've helped me so much on my thread I want to help you here too

m

[Just Sara]

Years may come; years may go..

Some go fast; some go slow..

Some are good, some are bad..

For each one; let's be glad...

Whenever I review; those lovin' times with you

I wouldn't change a single page, you and I've lived through

Heartaches I don't doubt; life's sure to dish us out

We'll beat the lot and that is what...

Life is all about.

Exert from 'Years may Come' by Herman's Hermits (Oldie)

And another...(also by Herman's Hermits)

When you walk, thru a storm, hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of the storm is a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on..thru the wind, walk on...thru the rain, tho your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on..walk on...with hope in your heart..

And you'll never walk alone...You'll never walk alone!!

You know words and music are my thing too, but from a by-gone era. Giving the gift of song to you with love and sadness for your loss.

Heart of hearts...

Sez xoxo

[Just Sara]

Sorry!!

It was 'Gerry and the Pacemakers' that sang 'Walk Alone'. My bad...

They had some rippers too!

Sez xo

[CMF]

Hi Pepper,

We haven't actually spoken before but i do see you around the forums. I don't know your story but I saw on SN's thread that you saw 3 butterflies today and wanted to share this with you;

As power animals butterflies are magical and cherished. They represent spiritual rebirth, transformation, creativity, endless potential, vibrant joy, change, ascension, and an ability to experience the wonder of life.
If you're seeing butterflies, you may want to ask yourself what changes you're needing to make to live more in alignment with your authentic truth.

I hope you find this comforting.

cmf x

[Peppermintbach]

Aw guys,

Thank you so much for the incredible love and support. I know it's such an overused phrased but it really does mean a lot. And I say this knowing full well that every person who responds has their own set of struggles yet still makes time for me. I appreciate it a lot...

Thank you. And a heartfelt one at that ❤️

Quirky- I always appreciate your ongoing support. As I said elsewhere, you have a gift for gentle understanding. It's a subtle but powerful gift.

DB- I know you're having tech issues so may not see this any time soon but I also wanted to thank you. Your post made me a little teary but not in a bad way- I was moved...

It seems like you have a soft spot for love songs especially ones associated with your parents. Nothing like a bit of nostalgia 😉

You have been very supportive of me and I recognise that you try so hard to build me up. Your empathy always comes across and I get the feeling you have seen a lot in your life. Sometimes experiencing a lot breeds empathy- something that you have heaps of...

Also thank you for the condolences. Just that acknowledgment of loss was beautiful and probably exactly what I needed at the time. Thank you.

Cesca- hey, any time 🙂 I'm hoping we made you feel that tiny bit less alone.

The weekend was fairly chill, thanks. I talked to some artists and even bought a new print. I spotted this particular piece and made a beeline for it- spoke to me on an emotional level. I'm proud to say it's now displayed on my bedroom wall.

monkey_magic- thank you to you too. As I said to DB, that simple acknowledgement is very powerful. Thanks for recognising my loss.

Love,

Pepper xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi again,

Once again...a heartfelt thank you to everyone. As I said in my previous post, I'm more than aware that every single person who replies is struggling in one way of another.

But the beauty is in the effort and the time dedicated to your replies. You still try to engage even when and if you're hurting.

Thank you...

Nath- welcome back 🙂 You're very caring to check in on me and ask how I'm doing. It's appreciated, as always....

I guess I'm managing is probably the best way to put it. Taking each day is it comes or to an extent anyway.

m- aw, I'm touched. Welcome...and be warned of my hysterics and senseless musings about lightning and who knows what else depending on how far back you skim (lol).

Lightness aside, thanks so much for visiting and for your friendship. I'm glad my random musings- because that's what they are 95% of the time- on your thread have been a little helpful.

Dearest Sez- I just listened to both songs.

Thank you for the gifts and for speaking one of my favourite "languages." You know me so well 🙂

Years May Come made me smile. I just thought "that's so you" and your talk of seasons and the circle of life. I sort of interpret it as a song about the circle of life and making the most of each moment and honouring each moment. They are all precious in their own way: the good and the bad.

Walk Alone admittedly did move me that little bit more. I found it very comforting and got a little teary, and understood what you were trying to tell me (thank you). I know you're here for me and in my corner. No words other than thank you...especially as I know you're going through a rough time.

Heart of hearts, as always 💞

CMF- welcome and thanks for the lovely post. Butterflies huh?

It's nice to know they have such a beautiful symbolic meaning. Thank you for sharing. I think that my brain is temporarily too scattered to process things properly but I'll keep the meaning in mind.

A grateful thank you to all.

Love,

Pepper xoxoxoxoxoxoxo