Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Sorry about my last message Jojo.
I kept trying, but I've only lasted a couple of days till falling into a heap.
We are supposed to be going away for the weekend and I'm not even excited. My partner is so much better off with out me. He has done a wonderful surprise and I cant even be .... I wanna say grateful, but I am grateful it just doesn't seem to matter. Nothing does.
Sorry Jojo. Just a failure at everything.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your pregnancy. It is understandable that you will have all sorts of emotions which may be hard to make sense of. Is it possible for you to get some grief counselling?

I can see your partner is trying to help by arranging a weekend away. Don’t feel bad if that is not what you need right now. Perhaps try and tell him what you do need from him or how he can help you cope.

It might be worth checking to see if there are any forums specifically for women who have had an ectopic pregnancy. Just sharing with people who know exactly what you are going through can be very healing.

I went to the funeral yesterday and it was a beautiful service. My best friend did the eulogy and managed that without getting too emotional. I will keep a close eye on her now to make sure she is travelling okay.

Be gentle with yourself and listen to your inner needs. You are the best judge to know how to get through this time xox

With lots of love and a great big hug Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Hey Jojo,

My partner is amazing and deserves someone much better than me.

The remaining 9f the pregnancy expelled itself after our hike. So I became a mess.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I disagree with you. You are an amazing person too. You probably can’t see that because of how you are feeling. You have had a traumatic experience which will take some time to get over and come to terms with.

I am so sorry your hiking weekend ended in such a distressing way. Did you need to be admitted to hospital? I hope you are able to get some counselling soon to help you cope.

Be gentle with yourself at this time as it is not anybody’s fault for the ectopic pregnancy. If I were you I would educate myself as to what to expect from here on. There is a lot of good advice online which may be helpful to you and your partner.

My thoughts are with you Saree. Take good care of yourself xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Hey Jojo,

No one to really talk to. Not that that is my forte anyways.

I missed my psychiatrist appointment this morning. I'm not sure I'll see my psychologist next week either.

I dont even know why I'm messagi g you. Sorry. There is nothing positive and nothing to live for.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Please keep your next appointment with your psychologist as you could do with some extra support at this time. You are carrying a heavy load atm - don’t shut people out who are trained to help.

Your mood sounds very low so please talk to someone. How about touching base with your GP? From there grief counselling could be arranged which could really help you process what’s happened.

I am glad you are still sharing with me, however, I am not sure how helpful my comments are? Don’t give up Saree you are an ‘overcomer‘ you have proved that time and time again. Be brave, push on and stay strong.

My thoughts and prayers are with you xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Thanks Jojo,

I dont really have anywhere to turn. I've barely gotten out of bed all week, which has pissed my partner off.

I attempted to talk to my partner last night and he basically said I'm failing.

All is affirmed.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

You are not failing Saree! Your body needs time to heal and your hormone levels are probably all over the place. It is hard enough dealing with your mh let alone dealing with physical symptoms too.

It is unfortunate that your partner doesn’t seem to understand so please try and see your GP who I am sure would be very empathetic and supportive.

Loss of your pregnancy is bound to impact on your mood and mh so please keep your appointment with your psychologist next week who I’m sure will be able to help you.

Take good care of yourself Saree xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙏

[Saree_p]

Jojo,

Kept the appointment but psychologist cancelled. Guess she is unwell.

I resigned from my job.

That's it

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I am sorry the psychologist wasn’t able to keep your appointment, however, I think it is still worth making another one as you sound really flat. Failing that why not get your GP to do a mh plan for referral to a grief counsellor for some extra support.

How do you feel now you have resigned from work? I am hoping relieved as working can be so stressful when you are also trying to cope with your mh.

What are your plans now or is that too hard to think about atm?

I am always here for you dear friend. Stay strong xox

With lots of love Jojo 🌼🤗🙏