Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Sorry lilly
But thanks.
I just want this to be over

[Lilly99]

I care about you and so does everyone else ❤️

lilly

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Yes we all do really care about you Saree. Please listen to Lilly’s advice and put your health first. The way the world is right now that seems to be the most important thing we can do for ourselves.

Stay safe and take good care of yourself xox

With lots of love and hugs Jojo 🌼🤗👋

[Saree_p]

sorry guys,

I just haven't been up for posting. It is all negative and of no help to anyone.

My psychologist is in the loop and as of yesterday we are attempting to set something up so I'm not in hospital. But we are fully aware how close I'm flirting with that line.

I guess I'm saying I am trying.
I'm not sure if there is going to be good news at the end of this though.

Hope you are all well,

Saree

[Lilly99]

Dear Saree,

I think you rock.You are amazing 🤗 xo

lilly

[Saree_p]

Sorry guys.
Real bad day.
Wish I could say I was winning.
Instead I simply can't cope.
My boss needs me to be her rock - flapping n can't manage, I'm faking it but know I can't be.
Feel so useless.

[Saree_p]

Ok. Really bad day has turned into epic bad day.

Sorry all

Work ended with a colleague throwing my manic side under the bus publicly with department heads.
On top of already suicidal mode it just hasn't ended well at all.

My boss has told me to contact her at any point over weekend - nice but won't. Just means the comments were thT bad an apparent.

Feel like crap. Done fighting. Done arguing. Just done.

[Lilly99]

Dear Saree.

By the sounds of it you have been doing a great job . A lot better than me that’s for sure . I stopped working in July last year because I couldn’t manage but you just keep going trying your best . You know I don’t think there is anyone that’s doesn’t have a bad day at work some days . I am sure everyone reading is proud of you and what you have accomplish when you feel so extremely bad . I am proud of you Saree. Please take care of yourself .

Lilly

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I agree with Lilly some days at work just suck! Try not to dwell on them and move on. I think it is really great your boss has made herself available to you over the long weekend. That shows how much she values you.

I also am very proud of you as you always manage to keep going even through the toughest of times. You are awesome and an inspiration to me.

Keep fighting on for your health as it will be so worth it once you find stability in your life. I hope and pray that day comes soon because you truly deserve it.

Hope your weekend goes well and you can find some peace of mind before work starts up again.

Stay safe. With lots of love and hugs Jojo 🌼🤗 🐣

[Saree_p]

Hi guys.

This is not a bad day at the office sort of thing. Nor something u simply get over.
It was a public attack on myself when in a heightened state.
It was a completely personal attack at mh issues - which im struggling to come to terms with.... apparently I'm just crazy and I'm the only one that doesn't know it.

I wish I could convey better. Sorry guys.