Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,

She is back week after. Appointment 25th, didn't push cause all seems to not be moving etc.

Yeah well, it seemed like they wanted me to crash again so can commit me under mental health act. Jo made the comment if u keep going much longer you will crash and we will place you under mental health act and commit you for a long time. Not sure if was scare tactic or what.

Thought about it Jojo, just not even sure how. Just wish someone would tell me what's going on and step me through it.

Feel so lost Jojo.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Is the appointment on the 25th with the psychologist?

I don’t see how they can detain you under the mental health act if you present well. However, if you fall apart with the stress of everything then I suppose they might be able to, I don’t really know as I have never been in that position.

Are you still okay to function at work?

Your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

That was the point I think Jojo, Jo was an ex nurse at the hospital and remembered me from 12 years ago. She remembers the lows I had. Her point was I'd crash and it'd be extreme due to the prolonged high and they would be able to.
I'm yet to go to hospital optionally.

I'm functioning Jojo, struggling to stay focused, really flighty and people keep asking me to repeat myself. Right now. Probably not functioning but have to.
Doing meds course, company paying for + being propositions to be team leader. No idea why. Apparently logical and neutral.
Stressed about tomorrow and weekend.

Jojo, why can't this just go away. I've been able to do well for periods of time. It's always been a struggle but isn't that life. Why so bad now?

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,
Didn't answer your question.
25th is GP.
23rd is psychologist. But CAT team didn't want me seeing that one and honestly not sure the go now diagnosis has changed etc. But guess I won't know now

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I think things are probably bad now because you push yourself so hard with long shifts, very little sleep and sometimes you forget to eat. I don’t know how you keep going. I would say everything has just caught up with you. Much as you would like to be, you are not Wonderwoman!

Try not to stress about tomorrow or the weekend. Are you worried about your bf’s birthday dinner? Or is it about the CAT team?

Maybe once this busy roster is finished you could take some time off and voluntarily go into hospital get things sorted once and for all? I just worry you will crumble and end up being forced in under the mh act.

I know you find hospital very unpleasant but at least you have some control if you are voluntary. Think about it. It will be a huge challenge and take courage, but I think you could handle it.

Wishing you a good nights sleep 💤

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo,

Worried about both.

I am crashing. Energy is going, feel panicked all the time.

We will be picking up family member from airport etc, and dinner. It's gonna be a very full weekend.
Have said I need to go home tomorrow night after work.

No idea why feel so so panicky.

Sorry Jojo.

[Saree_p]

Just an update Jojo,

Didn't speak to CAT team, just receptionist. Psychiatrist booked for Tuesday.

Really feel like a burden.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

Well done for speaking to the receptionist and getting an appointment with the psychiatrist for Tuesday.

Could you try some deep breathing for the feelings of panic you are having see if that helps?

Do you know why you are worried about the birthday dinner? Is it because your not your bouncy self or are you just really tired? At least you have your bf for support. Let him know your fears, let him help.

Take care & hope the dinner goes well.

With love your friend Jojo 🌼

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,
Because exhausted. Struggling to mask.
Managed. Very well apparently.

I don't know Jojo, I'm sorry. Have been doing deep breathes. Just dreaded sense.

Guess just make it to Tuesday and be patronized again.

Sorry Jojo

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

How are you feeling today?

Glad you made it through the bday dinner. Are you managing to get any rest at all?

What do you need from the psychiatrist on Tuesday?

With love your friend Jojo 🌼