Really struggling

[Saree_p]

Hi All,

This is the first time I have ever tried to use a forum. I simply don't know what else to do.

Atm I have a lot of memories, images, voices from past experiences resurfacing. On top of work environment that can trigger these. I simply can not take it anymore and cope. All I want to do is make everything stop.

I have been sitting with suicide for a while now, and I am tired of fighting it. I feel like I have exhausted all my options, I am wondering if anyone has any advice.

I have started the process of seeking help, however it'll take months to organise. On top of this I can't exactly share what's going on etc.

Sorry

[Saree_p]

Jojo I just feel like a failure. I should be had this assignment written. I can't do this.
N I shouldn't be putting this on u.
The thoughts mean I sent a sleep. Not right now. Issue ? I had last night but I had to work. This is the point I can't convey. I can comparmentalise but not ignore.
I'm sorry. And atm I can't stop seeing them

[Jojo100]

You are safe Saree and you are not a failure. You are unwell and need support.

Get an extension on your assignment as you are probably not thinking clearly atm and must be really tired.

What can you do to calm yourself down? Does slow, deep breathing help? Or listening to music?

Is your housemate home with you? Can you talk to them?

Most of all I think you need sleep. Can you give it a try?

Jojo

[Saree_p]

I can't talk to housemate, support him etc n plus he has the number to call. He is asleep and won't wake up or be out of his room till after 9 or 10am.

Extension already granted on bar is of hospital admin.

I give up. Sorry

[Saree_p]

Sorry Jojo,

House.atr will be aerp till atleaat 9-10 am, plus he has the number to ring so no.

Already have an extension die to hospitalization sorry.
Just can't do this. Sorry.

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

When is the assignment due? What is the worst thing that can happen if you fail the assignment? Surely you can repeat it? Speak to the person who has set the assignment and see if you can negotiate some extra time because of what you are currently going through?

Once you have had some sleep you will be more able to think about what you can do.

Jojo

[Saree_p]

Hi Jojo
Will try and sleep. I am sorry for what I have put u through..
Everything is sitting here. I don't want to see them
I feel so weak right now, I am sorry. I really am.
I'm sorry

[Jojo100]

Dear Saree

I am going to bed now and hope you have too. Despite everything we made it through the night! Have a good sleep. Talk to you later xox

Jojo

[Jojo100]

P.S. no need to be sorry 💐

[smallwolf]

Saree,

It musts feel like the world is crumbling around you at the moment, with your assignment due, your lack of sleep and work and ??? I am sure there are some things I have missed. I guess the worst part is that part of you would know this already and yet still feel down - it's that head and the heart thing, the head is logical but the heart says otherwise, at least that is how it is for me.

I also hope that you have been able to get some sleep between your last post and when you get to read this. While I am no professional, based on own experience, advice from my own psychiatrist and a book I am reading currently ("why we sleep") I have a little understanding of the impact of lack of or broken sleep and effects of not sleeping.

Lastly I know very little about your story (or what you are thinking/feeling), and I am also aware it is hard for you to talk about. Yet if I am being honest, I don't really need to know in this space, except you are really struggling. I am not sure what you were trying to get from your GP... but if it were able to talk to someone here are some suggestions...

• student counselling services at Uni or chaplain
• staff (lecturers) in the psychology section at Uni
• counsellors at Anglicare or UnitingCare

Or is the pain that deep that you don't feel you can go there just yet? If so, perhaps you can tell me what we can do here to support you.Or what do you feel is missing? I guess you also know that question "if a friend told you this story, what would you tell them?"

Peace, love and comforting thoughts,

Tim

[Saree_p]

Morning,

Thank you for your time Jojo, I do hope you got some sleep.

Tim, those options are not really open to me due to where I live, situation etc. It is generally beyond skills and capabilities. I also have been dealing with the head social worker of the University for the campus I am at in regards to another issue regarding bullying - I would not go and see her and give her this ammunition. I have previously given her information to explain certain behaviours (like shutting down) that occur due to this others students behaviour and she has directly given the information to this person who has caused a lot of harm and damage - so I would not trust her with anything important.

If that post does come through - which I now hope doesn't I will add, I am still alive. There will be an overriding explanation of the situation and experiences Tim.

What I sought from the GP, so help. I really didn't care what it was, just something. Not to be told this is too difficult and complex, please go away and see someone else - its like they forget I live with it daily.

I do not even have work to distract. sad when you get up and hope you have been called in for an emergency shift.

Sorry Tim, no real answers for you.

Sorry Jojo for last night, I am heavily embarrassed - I really should've just sat it out. I am sorry.