"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[bodyguard]

Hello, I've just watched OCD on SBS and I felt compelled to talk about mine with someone who may understand..After watching it, I realised that I DO have it in a few forms..And I now realise I have had it since I was a child....My OCD is not about cleanliness....It's about thoughts that enter my head, such as saving all rubber bands / I put it in my mind that if I throw the them into the bin something bad will happen to people I love..I know it's nuts...The other is a compulsion to not discard a certain object till my daughter has called me...Again, I feel that if I do, something bad will happen to her...I can't have a leisurely walk either...Between pavers, I always needed to count to 4 ( I did that all my life) Again, I feel as if something bad will happen if I don't...I have suffered Panic attacks and Agoraphobia in the mid 90s But I conquered those with the guidance of a Psychologist ... After that, I left my husband of 20 years and I suffer depression...I have been on antidepressants. I have to say, my life has levelled out a lot.. BUT those OCD symptoms are still there..Im just hoping someone who may have conquered it might say a few magic words to help me get over it

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

I look at it the other way, I have confidence in you, that no matter what happened you would deal with it.

Chucked out in the snow by a villainous landlord you would build an igloo (with bowling alley)

Croix

[Croix]

I've though about my own decision making, and have come up with the following. YMMV of course

I'm not adventurous, and I'm too old to have the time, resources or energy to take serious risks, so I would not do anything that put home, family & pets and all it takes to support that at risk.

As a result all I've basically got to 'spend' on an adventure or change is time and a (very) few dollars. As a result I might contemplate a course of study, or perhaps a visit to a relation in another city, or even a change in my voluntary activities.

That's about the extent of it - not earth shattering is it?

Croix

There are a number of what I'd call non-negotiable elements to my life that I would not knowingly risk, no matter what the incentive appeared to be.

Such things as abode, income, health care, pets are inviolate and I would not change anything that affected them, I'm too old and do not have the resources or energy to rebuild or make alternative arrangements. Plus of course in my case I'm half of a partnership and act accordingly.

Over and above that - the 'optional' things in life, such as my time, could be the subject of change. An example would be contemplating a course of study, which involves some expense, a lot of time and increased stress levels.

[CMF]

Hi Bodyguard and welcome,

It's great that you have found these forums, have you started your own thread? It will enable you to share your story and for more people to see it and be able to help.

You can of course post on anyone's thread but starting your own means it will get the attention it deserves.

Moon, good luck today. Croix is such a gem isn't he?

Sorry if i have bombarded you with questions. Of course there is no need to share more info than you are comfortable with. I do hope i didn't put extra pressure on you, i wish i could sit with you and help sort through things. I feel your struggle. Croix is right 'I look at it the other way, I have confidence in you, that no matter what happened you would deal with it.' We all have confidence in you.

cmf x

[Moonstruck]

Dear Bodyguard I am glad you contacted us and honoured you chose my thread to do so.

I know there are people here who have OCD, understand it, and can give you lots of support. I don't have OCD but I do understand how crippling and mystifying it can be. Have you seen a psychologist about it to discuss a course of treatment? You've conquered Panic Attacks and agoraphobia....that's wonderful and shows how strong you can be!

I am by no means qualified to talk about OCD - if the things you are doing are relatively harmless and don't monopolise too much of your time.. if they make you feel better. (like a good luck charm or similar) perhaps it is not as bad as you think. I know someone who has a mild form of OCD..but not to the extent that anyone else notices...just little things he HAS to do. They don't harm himself or others so I guess OCD can come in many forms from minor to major.

As CMF suggested - you can start your own thread and I am sure there are areas on here that deal specifically with OCD -

Hey guys....can someone who knows about OCD and can advise Bodyguard...please help out.thanks

CMF and Croix....."the best laid plans..". the person with whom I was going to breach the subject is unavailable to speak with alone today.....so I'll have to pick another time and place!!!

Croix.....the only thing I would be jeopardising is myself. If it doesn't work out, it would contribute greatly to my mental stress and anxiety. In other words "my own health". If it did work out.....it would have the opposite effect. No it has nothing to do with bowling. that is all wrapped up with a ribbon it it, and no one can touch me when I'm bowling, believe me! (a clue....it has to do with a pet, with whom I have a bond very few can understand. No, of course it does not risk their health, I would never do that - but it would mean extra stress for me in the beginning stages and I am unsure whether I could cope with that)

When I am thrown out into the snow....I could charge admission tickets to my igloo...what do you reckon??

[CMF]

I'd come to your igloo Moon.

cmf

[bodyguard]

Hello, I'm not really sure how to use this site and what is and what is not protocol...I spoke about my OCD for the first time to a close friend today....She was a bit surprised and told me that no one would know it..That actually makes me feel better! She told me she, sometimes, triple checks to see if she turned off lights etc..To me, that's being overly cautious which is not a bad thing..She doesn't relate that action to the safety of her loved ones / She is 71...I guess I can live with my mild case of OCD ...For those who suffer Panic attacks, I can offer advice which worked for me....The psychologist I saw told me that he dealt with Panic attack patients for over 20 years And in that time, noone died from a panic attack! I added to that and said to myself during attacks : "Is this the worst I have ever felt?" And every time the answer was NO...That always calmed me down ...In my case of Depression..Basically, this is something I put into my head : "Thought should be free flowing and NOT cause pain!! If your thoughts cause you suffering, it means you are not thinking right" That helped me..I hope these hints help

[CMF]

Hi bodyguard,

if you go to the 'all posts' tab and then deselect the topic 'anxiety' you will see a tab on the right hand side for starting a new thread. Select this and you can get started sharing your story.

hooe this helps

cmf

[Moonstruck]

How do I keep the anxiety down? How do I push it down, push it away? Alcohol used to do it, but I can't use it any more - it damaged my body too much..now it would be life threatening. I have nothing else. I could see my anxiety falling, falling, getting calmer, getting more relaxed.....now it is forbidden to me. I have no choice but to go through it.

I am bordering on panic now.....have to meet my boss in social setting later on...i don't want to. He intimidates me with his personality and forceful voice. I lose my own voice, my own opinions.

There is nothing to discuss in person, he can't do by email or phone. I don't want to meet him to "discuss" ideas. I don't care. I get no job satisfaction whatsoever any more - his business is going broke He is desperately clutching at straws and relying on me to stay afloat. I don't care about the work, I can hardly wait to be free of him. If I leave the business will collapse. There is no one else to employ to take some of my load. No one wants to work for him.

I already told him this year is my last working for him I don't think I can last the year He is bleeding as much out of me as possible - I am not well enough for this pressure.

I am afraid to say "No actually that doesn't suit me, (meeting socially) I have an appointment, or something". I'm too lily-livered not to jump when he says jump.

I am already making plans for when I leave him I have to get a new laptop and computer plan etc. For all these years, my workplace has provided all that...now I haven't a clue where to start. I know nothing about IT, except the system I am used to. I don't understand the computer language, or the terms computer store people use . they may as well be speaking Japanese to me. Why don't they understand that not everyone is tech savvy?

I have multiple issues bombarding my head just now. I can't find relief. If I delve into my sleeping meds, I will run out of them for actual sleep - and the GP may wonder why I'm running out sooner than usual. I don't have repeats.....the Aust Govt won't let GPs give repeats of this particular med -

If you are in terrible physical pain, you are given prescription pain killers...what about mental pain , anxiety torment, feeling panic coming on with nothing to hold onto or calm you down? What do we do then?

[CMF]

Moon,

I am here,i have read your posts. you will be ok. I am going to reply re the computer issue later tonight when little on is in bed ,and work issue but i need to get my daughter somewhere shortly.It will be ok Moon, i am here and i have heard you. You are not alone.

cmf