"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[CMF]

Our dear Moon,

I agree with Croix, 'Maybe just as well he did not see you, I"m not sure you need another put-down right now.'

I fully understand that feeling of just needing a hug, or a hand to hold, even if it is an ex, just something. some physical contact. We, as humans, need that. I'm sending you a hug and holding your hand in the friendship circle. The spot next to me in the circle is always reserved for you Moon.

You've done all you can, we are all hoping for the best for you Moon, you so deserve some peace and happiness.

cmf x

[Moonstruck]

I have never known such a sense of loss and grief in my life! over a pet!! I looked up a website about unresolved loss of a pet.i.e. when they "run away, go missing" and you never know the outcome. Apparently this is even worse than accepting their death. My two closest girlfriends (in other towns) I STILL have not shared this with.WHY? Because it sounds so trivial...that website I read could have been written exactly for me. I am not over exaggerating or being a drama queen over this at all. But I know it sounds commonplace when I tell it verbally. I dread someone pointing out my loss is a mere "drop in the bucket" compared to losing children, sons going to war, etc....I KNOW that! But I also know how I feel. I cannot carry this load.

I lay sobbing as I watched TV last night and realised I have never grieved like this in my life....including losing my husband, and more recently, major relationships that were huge losses.......nothing has eaten away at the core of my being like this loss has!

[CMF]

Moon,

No one can tell you how much grief to feel. I think you are grieving so hard because of the 'unknown'. It is not final, there may be a bit of hope although it feel hopeless.

I cannot remember Moon if you see a counsellor? Is it worth making an appointment for a chat, print out some of your posts? Sure, the situation may be trivial to some but to you it is very real, they way you feel is real to you. You don't need anyone to validate this, it is fact, it is your fact.

I know I probably have not said much that will help feel better you but know I am thinking of you as i feel your heartache through your posts.

cmf x