"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[CMF]

Hi Moon,

Sorry you are going through this at the moment. I am also a little paranoid, over thinking and easiky triggered so i may not be much use to you. Toady at the health food store i purchased Rhodiola capsules. Perhaps read up on it.

cmf

[JessF]

I think that's very wise. Probably on balance I have found the acceptance techniques to be more useful for me in the long run. The challenging stuff has worked to take away some of the total 'catastrophe' type thinking, but when a thought keeps recurring and recurring despite the challenging, there comes a point where you need to just say, 'this isn't helping me, we've been over this before' and move to acceptance.

If you imagine it as like getting into an argument with another person, you may try to change someone's point of view for a while, but if it doesn't work, then eventually you 'agree to disagree'. I think this is what ACT is about, learning to 'agree to disagree' - with yourself!

[Moonstruck]

that's OK CMF. Take care of yourself too. I've never heard of those capsules.

I feel someone has mislead me into believing what I'd dreamed about was happening. It appears they have acted or spoken too hastily, led me down the proverbial "garden path" so to speak, told a few white lies....now trying cover their tracks,explaining why they have changed their mind. "Just wait until we get this or that.......not ready to change over yet till I approve the type of ......he's going into".....all just bluff to put me off. I think she wants to go back on her word now. Very cruel allowing me to get excited and even spend a lot of money getting the right stuff for him - very unfair.

Had my hopes SO high, how could they have done this to me? Get my hopes up and then have a change of mind....obviously a trivial thing to them, but a major major big deal to me...I was already celebrating. Plunged down from the heights of joy to emptiness and despair. it's the lack of "power" too. Because this woman holds the strings, has possession of the pet I want back so badly....she can say Yes or No whatever her whim it seems....not ready yet...not big enough pen....some expert said he needs this or that...I am on eggshells with her as she has possession of something so precious to me I can't afford to get on wrong side of her.....or she will arrange for me never to see him again. I am caught between a rock and a hard place.

[Moonstruck]

I have ordered The Happiness Trap from my local library.....thanks

[gld]

Hi Moonstruck,

Mindfulness is something i am using at the moment and i feel thoughts are something that pop up when you are not prepared or at my best.

The latter part of your post sounds like something i could also give a go as it could work with mindfulness.

Living in the moment is a practice that needs work until it becomes something that needs no work and is a lifestyle choice.

Gen

[Moonstruck]

Has anyone ever had something similar to this happen to them before? A few days ago I was in the car and rather than just crying I found myself starting to make this horrible animal guttural "noise" like trying to scream but holding it in...(no one could hear this of course, was in the car) i didn't decide to do it...it was happening beyond my control. When I got out of the car of course, I was behaving normally, interaction with others for the rest of the day and night, the usual.

Last night watching TV, lying on the couch, nothing traumatic happened that day, (except thinking and worrying about the situation I am helpless to do anything about 100% of the time) I began to not just cry but curl in a foetal position, shake uncontrollably and make funny whimpering noises like an injured animal, this guttural sound again only quietly (because of neighbours). an inhuman noise - again it was coming out of me sort of "automatically" ....has anyone had, or seen this before?

[CMF]

Hi Moon,

Yes, i think i have done similar. I have curled up into a ball and just let emotions out, however they come, whatever they sound like, it didn't matter they just needed to come out. I too have let out emotions when alone and then just carried on in front others like nothing happened.I think it is just the bodies way of releasing what is hurting us, sometimes tears just don't do it, it needs to be more. A few days ago i was a little anxious and i just sat and said AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH in a really loud voice. I just had an urge to let something out, it wasn't telling it was just AAAAHHHHH like i was singing but in a loud monotone. It was a release, i was projecting how i was feeling out - out of my body and it was ok.

With re to the 'situation'. it is not your fault, you did not change your decision others did so your judgement was not incorrect. I'm sorry it has hurt you so much, quite unfair and i know how you feel not wanting to get on the wrong side of these people.

Whatever you need to do to get emotions out, just do it. Doesn't matter how it sounds or looks, just do what your body and mind need to do.

cmf x

[Moonstruck]

thanks for telling me this CMF. Mine was a monotone too, which sounded a bit scary as it just came out of me on its own. is this normal? that's exactly what it was...a monotone. (and I am not a bad singer either..LOL)

Yes something definitely had to come out. Instead of this, I could have done what others resort to I guess. Which is ring the woman up and abuse her verbally (and I have a very good vocabulary and excellent at expressing myself by the way) which is why I never do this i.e. stand up for myself...if I were to say the things I want to, she would never recover - I have the ability to annihilate someone with just my words and verbal communication skills - so i don't. I let them off the hook!

I texted my sister and she rang back. She knows how devastated I am and offered to ring the woman herself and ask what was going on, on my behalf. One part of me wishes she would, but she'd probably get angry too and blast the woman for the pain she is causing her little sister - I have to tread carefully here...which is what is exhausting me so much - pussy-footing around because this woman has in her possession, something that is so precious to me - if I upset her, I will never see him again.

[CMF]

Moon, yes i think it is normal. It is a way to express what is inside. this week i have consciously done it a few times just as a release. I don't have a punching bag so that monotone AAAAAAHHHHHH will have to do.

Yes i know the feeling of thinking i just want to ring up and give someone a piece of my mind but what will it achieve except temporary relief. If you are like me, and you are a bit like me, you may feel bad later and regret it as i have done in the past. Pussyfooting around is exhausting i have done it so many times.

It would be good if you or your sister would call and calmly discuss what is happening and why the change of heart. I know this is hard as it can easily get heated. Can anyone else ring for you? On of your sons maybe as they are not as attached to the situation. You do deserve an explanation Moon.

cmf

[Croix]

Dear Moon (+CMF)~

When in the car (& some other places) I've done a similar thing on occasions, giving out a low sustained 'groan' which has been in response to unhappiness, anxiety and tension that has built up

Involuntary and hard to stop. Reason not always directly obvious.

Croix