Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello. You're all so lovely. Sorry. Think I needed to get the feels out before I could kick myself up the bum.

Got a food voucher. It wasn't as awful as I imagined, and the woman told me where else I could go for (food) help if I needed. Friday's vet appointment will be a regular appointment cost if Stormy is compliant, or more if she's not and needs a "nap" - fingers crossed. Don't know how I'm paying for that or the two other things that need paying for. Oh well. Also went to uni and started on prac organising, and got some books out for my thesis, so I guess I did get those big pants on, Hanna.

Poor little Stormy has had a scarf tied around her head and looks like a little Polish nonna lol. Thanks for the tip, Paws. Funny, Sleepy, my son uses the word "doggo" a lot too. I think he just scrapes in to the millenial bracket.

Well I'm tired. Lots of walking/riding to achieve all that today. Let's call it the perks of not having a car/petrol. The exercise was satisfying, but it does make everything take so much longer!

Big thanks for being here, for your advice, kind words, moral support, and hugs xo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Lass there is no need to say sorry... being able to tell someone how we are really feeling is the lovely thing about the forums... plus you are helping other people know that they aren't the only ones struggling... me included.

Am I being a meany chuckling at the thought of Stormy's nonna look... & even more of a meany asking to see her in your avatar....

You should be so proud of yourself not only managing to go & get the food vouchers, but getting uni stuff as well as talking to the vet... go you!!!!

It looks like your corner of Aus is being blasted by a strong cold front... stay safe & warm

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, glad to hear you got some help and people were OK to you.

The bit pants expression I got from a blogger in the UK I chat to - she uses that expression whenever she needs to make herself face up to something and I think it's rather cute!

Down with a rotten headcold so only on briefly tonight, good to hear you got some Uni stuff done too, well done you and pats to stormy! oxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Yes, it's been freezing here! I've actually had the heater running, which is a rare event. 2 degrees when I got up this morning - yuk!

More prac stuff organised today, and I have an interview with the agency tomorrow. My psych would suggest I not use words like "terrified" as then I just get to be terrified. Perhaps I could go with "nervous, but curious and interested". Which reminds me - I must find something presentable to wear. Big pants, maybe? ha!

Well I finally got the pic of my little nonna to load. Poor Stormy is not as amused about this as we are, Paws. But she does look ready to go dig up some potatoes for dinner lol

Sorry to hear about the headcold, Hanna. Do rest up and keep warm. Hope it moves on quickly.

Hugs all round xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Stormy looks rather cute with the "headscarf"on! How did your Uni stuff go? I tried to post to a couple of people last night but the reply button wouldn't function. Just on her very briefly as I have a bad headcold and feel rather rotten! I hope everything is going OK... hugs.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sorry to hear you're still unwell, Hanna. I hope you've got some nice nourishing soup on hand.

My interview today went well. I used a breathing technique to calm myself before going in, and it really seemed to do the job. I'm going to try keep up the momentum and do something else challenging! Will let you know how that goes 🙂

Take care! Katy

[Hanna3]

Sounds good Katy! I'm just on here again briefly. Good that the breathing technique helped!

This virus is looking nasty over here, I am hoping it's just Sydney and not the whole of NSW that has to go into lock down... I suppose the supermarkets will be out of loo paper anyway... and we have the winter festival about to start here... oh dear! Here we go again.

Got some good books from the library and I have stupidly volunteered to review a book for a blogger I chat with, so now I've given myself more work to do! Have to throw off this cold first. Hoping I can make my music lesson tomorrow... last for this term.

Pats to Stormy!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy, wave to all,

Oh my... Stormy does look like a nonna doesn't she... she is just missing the shawl & sensible shoes... how gorgeous!!... She doesn't look too impressed at wearing it though the poor pup.

Well done you getting all that done today... so glad to hear the breathing exercises helped... you should be so proud of yourself... yes my psych doesn't like me using certain words either...

Stay warm

hugs

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi again

Well I managed the other difficult thing, which was to get to my first GROW meeting. I'm so proud of myself for getting there. Everyone was super lovely, which was awesome. The meetings go for 2 hours though, and I don't know why but I always feel more uncomfortable the longer I have to be somewhere, whereas I think it usually works the other way around for other people. Oh well. You're supposed to commit to attending 3 meetings, so I intend to do so. Cried when I came home but. Dunno, just feel like I'd love to have someone here to give me a hug and say "well done". Not to denigrate my appreciation for your support, ladies. Thankyou for being here.

I hope the winter festival goes ahead, Hanna, it sounds so lovely. And good on you for agreeing to do the book review - I imagine you'll enjoy that once you're feeling better.

Think I'll go tuck up with nonna Stormy and have a cup of tea and a snug and probably a good cry. I still did good.

Hugs, Katy

[Guest_1643]

hi Katy, that's so cool... well done! Honestly it is so so hard to get to a new space and you're really awesome for giving it a go!

Reminder to us all that sometimes getting through the door is so huge.... well done

That does sound like a long duration for the group, hope that over time it feels less.

I would also be daunted to try someting knowing it was a long time and I couldn't leave. So it's a huge committment to just go