Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Thank you Peps, and thanks for sharing your butterfly stories too.

xox 🦋💜

Thank you to everyone here too xo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Butterfly Wings (and a wave to all),

It’s so good to hear from you. Is it okay if I please ask how have things been for you?

With much love. “Dusk till dawn” xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hey SLD 😀 so good hearing from you.

I haven't written here because I didnt want you feeling obliged to reply but you've certainly been in my thoughts a LOT darling.

I really hope lifes eased off on you

Please don't worry about a rep,y to this just look after yourself and when you're ready we'll see you again.

Love SL and lots of 🤗 😚🦋 hey I've still got my butterfly necklace

🕊

[startingnew]

Thanks Peps, DB and everyone

Things are very hard at my end and my mh and physical health have both gone down the drain. Im not coping all that well and at the moment the key thing i guess would be keeping safe even if my mind says otherwise. the pressures, expectations and life in general are becoming unbearable. Im having trouble talking much at the moment. im stuck between wanting to be around others and wanting to be alone which is making it difficult to just 'be'.

Thanks for caring and for checking in on me. As always its much appreciated xox

[demonblaster]

Hey there SLD 🤗 and everyone

So good to see you darling but not good hearing it's all too much honey. I feel for you darlin 🤗

Please continue not to entertain what your mind says to do lovey we love and care very much about you.

I do think about you often Starts and please don't feel you have to reply to this ok, just want you to know you're never forgotten

Sweetheart try hard to not go with the negatives I know it's so powerful but you are too darl.

I dont see that many butterflies but there was one yesterday in the alley way and it was opening and closing its wings on the wall, thought of you and of course my necklace and you ☺

I really am sorry it's so hard for you. God you need a break girl.

Much love darling 🤗😚🤝🗯🦋

🌿

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful little Butterfly,

I have missed you a lot, it’s really lovely hearing from you.... I have been reading only and not posting, like our beautiful Deebi. I didn’t want to put any pressure on you...No pressure now either Little Butterfly to answer....I’m not going anywhere and when your feeling up to it that’s the only time to post.. butterfly 🦋..

I am deeply sorry that your struggling so very with life,,,and it’s been a long time that you have been feeling this way...I wish I had magic words that would make things good for you...

As Deebi has said sweety, you are powerful, your strong..you can beat the beauty, go against what your negatives are telling you...I’m doing the Mindspot course for ptsd and they keep saying to challenge our thoughts every time a negative is talking to us.....Please darl..try to believe in you like we all do...

Sending you heaps of love 💖 and big soul warming hugs 🤗🤗..

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Darling,

I feel sad to know how much you’ve been struggling. You sound absolutely exhausted...gentle, gentle hugs...

As you said, perhaps just take it moment by moment. Survival mode, just get through each moment and leave the rest...do what you feel you have to do and the rest can wait.

Holding your hand and offering some comfort and love...

”Dusk till dawn”

Love, warmth and comfort xoxox

[startingnew]

Thank you all for your msgs. Im struggling to know what to write at the moment.
It is really tough. April is full of aniversaries even on ates that should be special so it makes things quite hard.
I also have appointments with a new psychiatrist, contrinuing to work on exposure therapy with psychologist, appointments with other health professionals such as an exercise physiologist and physio for my foot. Im also undergoing some tests for my heart, they arent sure what might be wrong but they want tests done asap. I had it put off for ages thinking it was nothing but maybe its not nothing..
im also still seeing my nurse for my health as well and still arranging things for my surgury, in amongst sorting out my pop for supports due to his declining health both physically and mentally.
Um not sure If I told you I completed my last course? If not ive completed it with really good marks and im not almost finished another course. Ive got 2 assignments to go and then that one is finished as well.




Im also not doing as much peer support work now, I am but not in the original role and not as often. Im more teaching things now in the horses so I guess thats another thing to add to the list.


So um I guess thats it in a nutshull but im sure there is more (besides the usual stuff)

thanks again for your support, hugs and sharing your butterflies with me xox

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings (and a wave to all),

April sounds like a particularly rough month for you...gently holding your hand through it all...I think of you often and send my love...

I’m really glad that there are so many specialists taking care of you. I think you’re very brave to agree to exposure therapy.

Your upcoming surgery sounds nerve racking. Hopefully it all goes smoothly...

A very happy and proud congratulations for finishing your course! I knew you would do well 🙂 I think it’s particularly impressive with all your other responsibilities and health issues. A proud hug from me...

Sending more love and hoping you will see a blue butterfly this month

“Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[demonblaster]

Hey our SLD great seeing you but not good that lifes still throwing you such intense stress darling 🤗

Huns it's sounding good although of course hard that you're back onto MH help, for a bit there it was drying up.

Sweetheart I think the surgerys for womens problems if we don't see you all the very best.

Hope your arms getting better but your foot hun.

Wow unbelievable heart stuff going on, the stress you're under at a constant it's very harsh on our bodies, it may not be the cause but is a big contributor to both types of our health but I hold firm belief in you Starts that you'll learn and achieve stress management esp hoping with some more mh help. I've always said youre made of steel.

Sweets while its in my mind not that at all I'm expecting you to be listening to my thread but I was saying people I'm missing and think about, this is truth hun I thought of you and do often and was going to mention you but as per distracted myself and didnt. I felt bad cause you're one of my main and long term friends here. I also think about Sez as I imagine we all do. Hope she's doing well in her new life.

Sorry huns hearing Pops healths declining, I know there was a barrier for respite but I hope for your sake some even couple of days intermittently can be arranged.

Hey bring out the 🎉🎊🎈nicely done getting through with good marks part of your course. That's a good positive to remind yourself of.

Sweetyheart I know you're pretty well versed in strategies, esp with heart just a soft reminder about deep breathing. I was going to tell you one Grandys psych taught her and her me but you probs know. If it doesnt affect your heart or add to breathlessness. I've always known how tense I get in BP and have been up till maybe part of yesterday breathing deep untold and so often I've forgotten through tension tiredness and been aware of my face head neck so tight so I relax them until the next realisation or mindful moment.

Darls all the best always wished for you, I really as many here do want to see you improve and find inner peace which is achievable if not only because you keep going darling.

Take care little Wings 🦋 love care and thoughts hun. 😚🤗⚘