Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[demonblaster]

With you sweetheart 🤗

What a shame psych visit worsened your state of mind. Disappointing hun.

Poor darlin hold on Starts as horrible as it is and yes good idea to ring MH.

Always keeping an eyebout lovey 🤗🕊❤🤝

[startingnew]

Hi Peps
im sorry its taken me so long to get back here, My diffuser hasnt really been helping but that could be because of the oils im using, they arent the usual ones as I thought maybe something different would be helpful too but I think ill go back to the lavender when I can get it again.
Ive been listening to music of a night time and have been going to bed a lot earlier so I get abit of sleep but that usually means im up and down most of the time and up early (lately its 4am) but hopefully ill get into a better routine soon....
Thanks for sitting with me and your hugs
xoxoxoxox

Hi Birdy

Its a difficult place to be in at the moment and it doesnt seem to be getting any easier. My emotions are a complete mess.
Thank you for sharing your advice with me, is what you described the same as Radical Acceptance? Its a DBT exercise and I think it sounds a little similar to what youve described.
Ive kinda been trying to accept things for what they are but I really just feel like im drowning in everything no matter what I do in the form of self care, and breathing and trying to just be ok with things.... Perhaps I shouldve just written my new thread onto here as it explains a little better ....
Thank you lovely
xoxoxoxox


Hi DB
I didnt end up calling the mh line, I had a feeling I knew what was going to happen if I had of. Im not sure I couldve coped with another hospital addmission, at least not right now....
I dont see my psych again until next yr, though most would be stressing over that, my emotions are a little numb to wanting to talk to any professionals now.
Thanks SL
xoxoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings (and a wave to all),

Your recent psych session sounds very intense and draining. Triggering sessions take a lot out of you emotionally and physically...I must admit it always baffles me slightly that some psychs don’t seem to equip their clients with emotional coping tools to cope with particularly triggering session...

The mean spirited people at the paddock sound awful. Lovely, please don’t think it’s a reflection on you. It’s not. Their behaviour towards you reflects their own issues/failings, and not because there’s anything “wrong” with you.

I’m glad your new diffuser oil and music is helping you a little at night. It’s great that you’re getting more sleep, even if it’s still not exactly enough, an improvement is an improvement 😉

Also, I saw a couple of white butterflies again yesterday. They made me think of you, so I smiled for a bit...

Gentle hugs, and much love. “Dusk till dawn.”

Pepper xoxox

[startingnew]

it was pretty intense and tiring Peps and theres still lots happening offline. Im not sure if im up for writing it tonight though as im feeling abit drained and tired so words are abit jumbly.

Thanks Peps, it hard to see it is them esp when they are taking all my work as well and giving me a bad wrap for things. cant do much about it tonight though so im aiming for an earlier sleep.

mm gives me warm feelings when you share your butterfly stories, im glad your seeing them more

Much love and hugs

Dusk till Dawn

xoxoxox

Sending my love and many hugs to all my friends here too xoxoxox thinking of you all

[Birdy77]

Dear SN,

I am so sorry everything is getting so on top of you and overwhelming you at the moment.

I hope you are still managing to get some sleep, it can help immensely.

I am not very familiar with DBT, but I had a little look at radical acceptance in the context of DBT, and looked at a step by step exercise. It looks helpful.

What I was trying to describe was simply a way to bring some calm to what sounded like your racing mind. Recognising that you are not your thoughts.

When you become the "observer", you watch your thoughts come and go without judgement (much like you would during meditation), but feel yourself as above the thoughts.

Like, you are the immense blue sky, and your thoughts are clouds that come and go ... the sky is constant, the clouds are not.

Something like that. I've taken it from my learning about meditation more than anything else.

Sometimes it can help during times of distress, just to create a bit if "space" between you and the chaos in your head.

Wishing calm for you SN.

🌻birdy

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings (and a wave to all),

That’s okay, please don’t force the words if they’re not coming easily. I feel the last thing you need is to put even more pressure on yourself. Gentle and easy does it...

Sigh, those people sound horrible, and it’s very cruel that they are damaging your work/professional reputation. I feel for you (and shame on them!)

I hope you managed to get a little more sleep last night. I’m pleased my butterfly anecdotes bring you a little comfort. I wasn’t feeling that great yesterday then a white butterfly suddenly flew past my window. As always, the butterfly made me think of you thus cheered me up a little 🙂

Big hug, sincere affection and much love...

Pepper xoxox

[startingnew]

Hi Birdy

oh thank you! sorry for misunderstanding the last post, i totally get what your saying now thank you.

Come to think of it something that might help others too is called 'In the bubble' where you imagine yourself in a safe bubble and instead of letting the worries get to you, you imagine them bouncing off the bubble so they cant get to you. just thought i meantion it in case itll help others.

thanks for being here too Birdy, i very much appreciate it

wishing you calm too

sending much love and hugs

xoxoxo

Hi Peps

theres too much in my head i think to make a post that would make sense, so for now ill have to ride it out and take Birdys suggestion on board to and give some space between myself and my thoughts. yeah its quite upsetting with those people reuining everything. i guess i cant do to much though except stay away from everyone.

Sending much love and hugs

xoxox

Im feeling quite nervous about tomorrow, i see the surgical team and i need to leave abit before 7am to get there on time. thankfully they didnt put me in for the 7am appointment 😬 otherwise eould have to leave about 430. if im not online tomorrow or the next day thats the reason 🌹🌹

Sending lots of well wishes, love and hugs to all my friends here 💕💕💕💕

[Peppermintbach]

Darling Butterfly Wings,

All the best at surgery today. I know you’re understandably feeling nervous though....

We will all be there with you in spirit, gently supporting you...

I think riding it out sounds great as birdy wisely suggested, and thanks for sharing the bubble idea too 🙂

Warm hugs and much love...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[Guest8901]

Dear Butterfly

Hoping it all goes really well today. I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to an update when you're feeling up to it. Its just 7am now, so I guess you'd be on your way by now. Safe travels. All will be okay.

Amanda

[Ggrand]

Hello Little butterfly 🦋

Im hoping that today goes good for you..

pits so understabley how nervous you are today hun,

Deep breath when you can...it does help..I think I deep breath now more then normal breathing now...

just picture all of us crowed in your car with you and sitting with you in the waiting room..I’m with you in spirit lovely little butterfly....

love and cuddles little butterfly 🦋..

Grandy👼.