Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Thanks Mrs D, i do alot of horse training so injuries are bound to happen. im in an incredible amount of pain even with stronger pain relief though, so im not sleeping, cant concentrate, and just feel quite under the weather atm. my poor legs are so achy cause of the way i have to walk and then how much i have to compensate so much.

Hope todays been good for you, maybe some gardening today?

Hello to everyone, how is everyone

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin Starts Doolsy and readers ☺

Ouchems you poor thing it sounds bad still so much pain with heavy meds. I was wondering if you're still involved with horses I know you love them. Beautiful creatures tho not when they hurt eh.

Best of with your studies hun. The thing that counts Starts is as hard as it was you got your assignment in. Well done. Hard concentrating in poor mh isnt it.

No covid problems I dearly hope love. It'll be good getting out of isolation no doubt. It'd give a sense of freedom I'd think. Be really careful where you are sweety.

I completely understand how depression blocks our motivation and our get up and go. I imagine you probably needed to rest up that day. Try not to let it pull you down hun it's ok to rest. We need to.

I too like the sun without the heat. It's nice, no stress feeling smothered with the heat yukko. I don't like being cold but cool weather's good tho here it's not too bad.

Always care darling. Sending love and warmth in beautiful hugs 🤗

[startingnew]

Hi DB, Mrsd D, CMF, Grandy and everyone.

Im sorry i havent been around to support anyone atm. im not coping myself, havent slept more then 2 or 3 hrs a night in weeks, no energy and just no motivation for anything. atm all i want to do is hide away from the world.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Starts...

Im sorry your feeling like hiding away from the world...

Maybe you feel like hiding away from people/life etc..but the world in itself is to beautiful to hide away from..the birds, trees, clouds, stars, moon sky...these are all the things that are supplied by Mother Nature so we can sneak away from the people and life in general to ...rest and nourish our soul...If you can sweet butterfly..find a nice quiet place to sit or lay down outside...close your eyes very gently and stat Feeling, hearing and smelling everything that is their for our benefit...it’s a place not many people can find...because their lives are so busy..they forget about it....

Please sweet butterfly..as you know their is no pressure for you to reply at all....all in your own time...Did you know that when a butterfly littered around you, they are showing you the true beauty of nature....you sweet butterfly show us that beauty every time you post here....

We are here for you....with our live and care..

Grandy🦋🕊

[demonblaster]

Dear Starts 🦋 Grandy and everyone ☺

Lifes so much harder when we're not sleeping well darlin. A suggest yrs ago was to have a bath with the water as hot as po. It worked. Or a hot shower maybe for relaxation purposes you could pop a seat in there you poor love.

Warmth has a good effect on us for relaxation.

All good darlin as our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 in her lovely post said there's no hurry or obligation here. Thx tho for letting us know huns.

My other suggest to help with relaxing to allow your body to come down is some simple meditation.

I just looked mentally at sun on the water.

Keep it simple.
Or I think of being in the water being free light and gently touched by the amazing soft hugging water.

Come here with Aunty DB darling ...thatta girl..take my hand ...let me walk you through ...yip...over this this way ...I got your hand 🤝

• Ok now plant yourself in that lovely comfy chair...oh ok no probs if you'd prefer to lay down that's quite ok.
• Pick your fave place or where you'd like to be lovey.
• See it... in your mind...be in it...any other thoughts just let them float across and away...gently return to your lovely place...
• Breathe sweet heart... to start... take 3 slow deep breaths ... hold a couple of tics... then slowwlyyy release...feel the stress leaving your neck ... then next breath your shoulders and next your chest...
• In with the flowers ...out with the weeds...
• Ok good...now turn some beautiful warm sunlight on in your lovely space honey...feel it absorbing into you...nice and slowly...you're secure and safe with this beautiful warmth spreading towards your soul....breathe deep and slowly sweetheart...holding it to lock it in....annd out with the rubbish...good girl...
• Be aware of how comfy and relaxed you feel ...
• Physically feel esp the neck muscles relaxing and going soft...

Any amount of time we can be thinking feeling something else the less space beasty (depression) occupies.

Starts I've always felt for you having so much on but you've always kept plugging on. Know you/we have so much more strength than we think.

Energy's used in depression/anxiety.

For us to have that working for us not against I think can help by directing our thinking to how to improve the situation.

In the past in incredible deeps Starts I got angry with how I felt..said to myself ...ENOUGH!...I'm not going to feel this anymore!...it lifted me enough to start pulling back up

Love DB ☺🤗💗

[startingnew]

Hi Grandy, DB and everyone,

Thank you.

Between Lockdown, works and helping, study and a foot that is basically unuseable atm im just feeling so pulled down. i still go outside but right now i just want to be home hiding away from everyone. I just dont feel like myself at all. im very all over the place mentally and physically. I am having several panic attacks a day and its getting much harder to manage when there isnt actually a trigger, just out of no where itll pop up. Its so frustrating and hard right now. I am struggling with the amount of pain 24/7 for over 3 weeks now. i need to see a gp again soon when they allow the face-to-face appointments to have it checked.

Your all in my thoughts, and always sending well wishes, i just wish i could be more supportive right now 😞

[demonblaster]

Listening sweetheart care very much and love you.

Bbl darlin.

Hope you're getting some reprieve from mental/physical pain.

🦋👀😚🤗🌴

[startingnew]

Thanks DB xox

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely little butterfly 🦋....🤗..

Awe sweetheart your going through a lot right now..I’m sorry about your foot that’s basically unusable....and your panic attacks...I can get panic attacks for no known reason or trigger..they seem to pop up out of nowhere, but I think a build up of all our emotional pain trying to be released...

I know it’s hard and you have heard this before..but about the only way to calm them is by distracting our mind from scanning our symptoms as your getting them..I think although medications can help them a little they aren’t a cure...We have to learn how to manage them by distraction...The last time I was going through one at home I started counting and naming everything in my lounge room..I could feel my heart slowly slowing down...and then started deep breathing...It takes time to manage the symptoms...which is what we need to do....

Im pleased you do outside sometimes..the sun has healing soul power...and helps us keep our body clock in time, so we can sleep at a regular time each night...Have you tried listening to sleep stories or even audio books while you are in bed with your eyes closed...last night I went to audio books and listened to the beautiful story of Heidi...there’s so many choices to make...even self cheap books...

I hope that you get some relief from your painful areas soon, sweetheart...it’s hard trying to cope with pain 24/7..and I’m sorry that you are going through this...

Talk here when you feel up to it...Your beautiful Aunty Deebi, myself and many others are here for you...

My love, with caring hugs lovely little butterfly 🦋.

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Thanks Grandy

Unfortunatly i had more bad news yesterday about my foot, it is worse then both myself and also my dr had thought. its going to be a long recovery and also means that i might have to give up a really good opportunity that i had been planning and preparing for for months. its just my luck and seems anything good that happens to me always gets overtaken by something bad. can never just be a simple thing that can be worked through for a week or 2. its so upsetting and hard to comprehend anymore.