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New and not sure what to do
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Hi um I've never done anything like this so please tell me if I need to do something differnt
I'm a 18 year old male and I've been depressed for the passed 7 months or so it all started when I had to put my horse down when hiss throat closed over it was very traumatic for me and he was the second horse I'd put down in a period of three months. Then my friend was having issues with work so I was trying to support her and be there for her just checking in on her and making sure she was ok she was suffering bulling really badly in the work place. While I was trying to be there for her I got very sick with a stomach bug and was sick for over a month I lost 17kg over that period of time and ended up in hospital 3 times for a period of over a week while I was in hospital I was still helping my friend. Once I got out of hospital my friend was really strugling so I made an extra effort to help her and that's when I got really bad myself. I stated to remember repressed memories from my childhood of things my obusive father had done and stuff from me being at school and being severely bullied. up until 2 weeks ago I was coping alright but then my boss made me work on a puppet show that she was making and I wasn't getting paid for it it has been a difficult situation becuase she is also a friend and she has no idea that I have been struggling with my mental health at all. I have ended up feeling very used by my boss as I put in 7 days free work for her and missed out on seeing my grandparents who kind of replaced my dad in someways growing up and she had my camera for over a month. She has slowly demanded more from me as time has gone on and I ended up having to preform in front of people which I wasn't really up for and the whole situation has cuased me to end up where I was before in terms of my depression. I don't know why but when I get really depressed like I am I have panic attacks and end up messaging my friend who is the only person I've ever been able to talk to. She has a new job now though and is working all the time and me messaging her is causing her stress and I don't want to do that to her and she also has kids that's she's trying to be there for. I don't know how to stop myself messaging her when I have my panic attacks becuase at the moment it's the only thing that helps it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I guess what I want to ask is dose anyone have any suggestions as to what to do I'm in a remote town so getting proffesonal help is difficult.
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thats ok though.
Im really glad your day didnt go as bad as what you thought it was going to to be. Wow thats a lot of money for something so boring. I bet you werent the only one bored either, but were being poilte.
The drawings really good! You shoud try and get in more in the light though so its more visible and bright but thats up to you.
Haha paddock bashing is awesome. Great way to learn skills pretty fast just as long as theres no creeks or tree and no running into fences either! I think id cry if I fell out of a ute but then I probably would be in histerics at how ridiculous it would sound to other people.
No need to apologise- this is your thread and should be about you. I have 2 jobs my primary job is being a carer for my pop and the second job I do of an afternoon is holiday horse care- so care for other peoples horses when they are on holiday.
Dont worry half the time I dont understand women and I am one lol. It seems your mum is trying to keep the peace and could possibly be worried about the consequences if she left him. I hope one day she opens her eyes and see what you and your brothers have been trying to tell her are true.
Yeah ive been in that sort of pickle myself and still am sometimes but now I pretty mch have no one anyway. It not like I want to be best friends with my gp or psychologist. I want real family or friends too. But its too hard for me to have that. People just think im weird but its really the fact I didnt have a childhood or teenage years I skipped from baby to adult very quickly.
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Yep the people my age talk about the same thing or beauty type things like nails and hair, where as me im lucky to even brush my hair every day I just generally chuck it up into a bun and im on my way. I work around horse they dont judge lol.
And im sure your doing a great job with your brothers, they are lucky to have a mature and resposible male figure to look up to. We need more of you in the world rather than the abusive ones!
My so called friends who are more 2 faced then anything but im nice because im just generally a nice person are in there late 30s and 40s and I get on better with them than young adults atm.
Yeah I had a few realisiations like that msyelf and it sent me into a spin. People my age are running shops and things where I am yet im here freaking out about going outside. It sounds pathetic really but again im sure its the upbringing people like us have that turns us into 'outsiders' as such.
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Gosh sorry!
I doubt youll turn out like your dad, you have a lot more respect and you have also seen the effects it has on those people including yourself. People who dont care how it affects people turn like that, you care so id doubt that very much.
Running your own buisiness sounds awesome! Thats really cool being able to work with those sorts of animals. Teaching kids would be pretty cool too- yep im finding it hard to believe you would ever be like your dad.
Why go over it in yellow? What happens then? I want to be able to paint and draw. I see heaps of different paints and I know I cant paint so I dont bother getting them. My drawings are more graphic rather than realistic. Yeah thats the same feeling as I get. It seems my drawings never got he way I want when im not in the mood.
Your experience with medications certainly sound like a turn off esp if your mum doesnt like them to start with and then they see you like that. The first medications were dreadful for me they made me itch like crazy- like bugs crawling on me. So I went off those. These ones im on now are weight gainers but I need them as well as my mood stabilisers (I have a personality and mood disorder) so all these combinations add up and now ive found a good working combination and I find I can still loose weight it just makes it a hell of a lot harder to loose it.
Thats right you can have a hot woman but is abusive and thats the same for men too. Its more their personality im drawn too not their looks. Although a good combination would be nice 😉
oh ok sounds pretty good, if she can help you then go for it. But dont give up if it doesnt work. Things take time and what works for one person might not work for another. It took me almost a year to have the right supports and medications in place to be able to move forward but it is possible so dont give up
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Star
my favourite outfit is boots,boots and boots work boots jeans rm belt and a black t shirt and a cap. If not that's gym outfit. Sometimes I like dressing up,oh I used to love going to b & s es
oh back ot thread,Hey to you P ,yeah I'm watching you 👀
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Oh ok what do you prefer being called just startingnew?
yeah I don't think I was the only one bored I'm pretty sure my bosses own daughter was pretty bored the guy who did the talk just didn't have it together at all I ended up leaving before he was finished becuase mum turned up thank god, haha.
Thank you,it was just a quick picture to show my nan as she lives in a differnt town now and at the time my light didn't work so I was using a lamp, it's in a frame now awaiting sale so I'd get the reflection unfortunately, I have another one I could try I'm not sure how it would look though.
yeah when my brothers arnet in the car I just go nuts especially if I'm angry with dad becuase our padocks are so open I can just flaw it and get rid of some of my anger.
yiu are a very good person to look after your pop like that not to many people would, the job looking after other people's horses sounds cool, I'd hate for something to go wrong though, I'm looking after a lady's horses for a week in December whiles she's away just checking on them more than anything they are pretty old so she gets worried about them. I've done a bit of pet sitting for people mainly birds, dogs, cats, rabbits that sort of thing I've only really done it for friends though. When I go away it gets hard becuase I have a lot of animals so I have to try and get someone to come and take care of them, we are going away in September and I was going to get someone to stay in the house mainly for the dogs and cats but I don't really have anyone.
im ok at understanding women just not the real girly city ones they shit me to be honest, I prefer to be around country women they tend to be a little bit less bitchy (sorry I don't know how else to put it). I don't really understand men though half the time. Yeah mum is just trying to protect my brothers if she left him he would get joint custody of them and he would more than likely just dump them on his parents which are probably a bit worse than him in some ways.
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I'm really happy you are feeling a lot better ad I want you to keep posting.
just a thought I had come join some social threads,we are funny.
maybe read up on Stars threads cause she needs support too.
See you in the cafe.
Dory
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Yeah I am thanks Dory it's nice to finally feel like someone understands and cares.
yep I sure will, I mean she can talk to me about anything she needs to at anytime on this thread if she wants but I defently will look up her threads.
