My story- just keep moving

[1113]

My depression started 20 odd years ago. So many bad things have happened in my life that remembering them is not something that I am able to cope with at the best of times. Some of these things have caused depression, some of them because of depression. It also hits me hard for no reason when all is going well. Its the major depressive episodes when I become to ill to cope, its like my soul/ existence leaves completely. Anxiety goes hand in hand with depression, and my anxiety is matching the level of my depression, just going outside is a painful experience. High level anxiety can last for days on end. Negative thoughts impact my everything, fleeting, unrealistic/uncontrollable. I forget who I am, where I put things/day it is. I don't think that I am good enough. This is not true, I know that from past experience. It effects every part of my life, family, friends, work. Most people don't understand why.

Why can't I have fun? When will I be normal? Why is this? Questions sometimes cause more problems and all I can do is take every day one step at a time until the major depression passes (its been 3 months already) or until the medication settles. Medication changes for me have side effects which can escalate other present symptoms. Mental health is so important. Don't hide it, with every ounce of your being tell someone. Get help. Reach out. Except. Go against what you feel. You are worth it.

I hid myself from society for many years because I felt that nobody understood. This was a mixture of anxiety and my naturally reclusive mentality that depression moulded me into. Its extremely difficult for me to decipher at times with all the chatter of negative thoughts what is reality or not. I never let anyone close to me so that I'm not a burden on them and I'm untrusting to others because of the fear of being hurt. People have a natural ability to push away the weird and undesired. So this makes it easier to do but not right.

All these symptoms mashed together make psychosis and inevitable agrophobia. Luckily this only effects me for a few weeks but the time it takes to recover from that to being able is far longer.

Its time for me to be me again. Clarity is still far away but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep moving.

[Just Sara]

A wonderful mindfulness technique Matt; turning thoughts into written words helps to cleanse and balance as you say.

- and + are only perceptions and can be changed for equilibrium and calm. Yin/yang symbolizes both hand in hand. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The closer to the middle of the proverbial stick you get, the less friction there is. To gain peace means finding the central pivotal point after see-sawing to and fro.

Have a great day!

Sara

[1113]

Peaceful joyful hello JAS,

I'm dancing in my mind. The Aussie two step. Lol.

The more closer you are to chi the more you are able to see what actions need to be done to achieve the right reaction.

Balance is always beautiful.

Im so glad your back. You were dearly missed. Someone needs his dance card filled.

Im going to reply to your thread. Super busy atm.

Back later

Peace to you bright sara.

Matt.

[Just Sara]

Aussie two step sounds a treat! My dance card isn't full yet, you're there Matt...Sara

[1113]

Taurus,

Come chat here!

Peace

[1113]

Philosophy......post number 777

"You are definitely on the right path in every area of your life. Stay balanced and spiritually aware so you can continue moving forward on this illuminated path"

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"This rising tide of anger raises questions that fall within the philosophical, rather than the psychological or clinical, study of emotions." -Psychology Today.

"Anger or wrath is an intense emotional response. It is an emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. Anger can occur when a person feels their personal boundaries are being or going to be violated. Some have a learned tendency to react to anger through retaliation as a way of coping. Anger may be utilized effectively by setting boundaries or escaping from dangerous situations.

Anger is an emotional reaction that impacts the body. A person experiencing anger will also experience physical conditions, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion which triggers part of the fight or flight brain response. Anger is used as a protective mechanism to cover up fear, hurt or sadness. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force. The English term originally comes from the term anger of Old Norse language. Anger can have many physical and mental consequences." - Wikipedia

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Philosophy of anger...............

What type of anger issues do you have?

Passive anger?

Aggressive anger?

What is anger, and how is it differentiated from other emotions?

In what circumstances is anger justified?

When should we act on our anger, and how?

What is the place of anger in a morally good life?

How can anger contribute to creating a better and more just world?

What should a wise person’s attitude toward anger be?

I have passive anger issues........eats me inside.

I'm going to need help on this one from someone who has aggressive anger issues.

It won't work without the two different perspectives.

Anyone want to join?

I'll leave it open........

Peace

Matt

[Guest_9809]

Evening Matt. You mentioned yesterday that you were awaiting other news, has it come through yet? I also read on the suggestions thread what you mentioned about Chris B, so I hope something comes through there for you soon too. Something for you to 'get your teeth into'. I love that you are sounding much better now Matt.

So tell me about this new profile picture of yours which has sprung up today.

I read your philosophy on anger. I too get angry and frustrated at times but, like you, I fit into the passive anger category. Meaning I think that you take things out on yourself rather than the aggressive anger types who tend to take it out on others around them. So I'm sorry, I'm not able to offer a different perspective on this issue.

Thanks for your support on my thread too Matt, appreciate it. I will respond when I feel like visiting there again.

Taurus x

[1113]

Peaceful hello Taurus,

Your perspective is welcome. Join in. Its non judgemental, your thoughts belong to you only so there is no wrong answer.

It not that hard to do. I read the questions and roll them around my head until it clicks.

Answer the questions by assessing yourself, but try and find another question/s from your answer/s for the next post. Google some stuff for a research point for help. Make sure it is only your perspective, coz its about you. Keep it organic and go with the flow of your own thoughts.

Keep doing this until you can't anymore. Then you are self-aware about anger. I just did it about love, well it started off with love and ended in the meaning of life area. Google some stuff for a research point for help.

This is about self awareness! All helpful for you too.

Re my news; we are having another chat on friday. I told them no rush because I haven't been well for that long. It's best I don't lie to them or myself. That will lead me to pooh hole.

I think the other thing is maybe being assessed. I'm not giving away recipes for nothing. What sort of chef would I be! Lol.

Anyone else interested in joining the anger philosophy group?

Peace

Matt.

[1113]

Oh its Angel of buffy the vampire slayer

[blondguy]

Hey Matt

Thanks for the invite!

I think I am passive which doesnt really help. So here is my history/knowledge on anger...

• I had a psychologist teach me to use anger where the usual coping mechanisms fail during a severe anxiety attack. He made a good point. Its hard for anxiety to manifest itself when you are angry...its very tiring but getting a bit angry at anxiety will replace the fear that anxiety feeds off rendering the anxiety impotent

If anyone pushes my buttons I used to get really fired up. Now I do a Uturn and let it go to the keeper...The mental energy used with anger is too precious a commodity..Its taken approx 3 decades....but I think I have a handle on it

Thankyou Matt and Happy OZ Day to you 🙂

my kindest

Paul

[1113]

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your insight.

It has given me something to think about.

I tend to bottle up emotions to a point of explosion. I fear anger. I think its my religious up bring. My entire family are similar.

I will definitely ponder over your veiw.

Peace, oh my lord. Lol still giggling

Matt