My story- just keep moving

[1113]

My depression started 20 odd years ago. So many bad things have happened in my life that remembering them is not something that I am able to cope with at the best of times. Some of these things have caused depression, some of them because of depression. It also hits me hard for no reason when all is going well. Its the major depressive episodes when I become to ill to cope, its like my soul/ existence leaves completely. Anxiety goes hand in hand with depression, and my anxiety is matching the level of my depression, just going outside is a painful experience. High level anxiety can last for days on end. Negative thoughts impact my everything, fleeting, unrealistic/uncontrollable. I forget who I am, where I put things/day it is. I don't think that I am good enough. This is not true, I know that from past experience. It effects every part of my life, family, friends, work. Most people don't understand why.

Why can't I have fun? When will I be normal? Why is this? Questions sometimes cause more problems and all I can do is take every day one step at a time until the major depression passes (its been 3 months already) or until the medication settles. Medication changes for me have side effects which can escalate other present symptoms. Mental health is so important. Don't hide it, with every ounce of your being tell someone. Get help. Reach out. Except. Go against what you feel. You are worth it.

I hid myself from society for many years because I felt that nobody understood. This was a mixture of anxiety and my naturally reclusive mentality that depression moulded me into. Its extremely difficult for me to decipher at times with all the chatter of negative thoughts what is reality or not. I never let anyone close to me so that I'm not a burden on them and I'm untrusting to others because of the fear of being hurt. People have a natural ability to push away the weird and undesired. So this makes it easier to do but not right.

All these symptoms mashed together make psychosis and inevitable agrophobia. Luckily this only effects me for a few weeks but the time it takes to recover from that to being able is far longer.

Its time for me to be me again. Clarity is still far away but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to keep moving.

[SourceShield]

Bro,

What do you mean by "I must here"...where else are you going to be???

We can only ever be here.

Healers are wanted and needed everywhere!

Peace

[SourceShield]

Olivia Newton-John = Nicholas Cage.

---

Also, now that you have accepted this challenge, that means anytime that I sense you being harmful and hurtful to yourself, I can pull you up on it.

No more hating on ourselves.

Thats all behind us now brother.

Keep Moving Forward.

BOOM

Wolf

[1113]

Bro,

On this forum you silky goose. LAY that wasn't a typo bahahahahaha.

Goodnight my spiritwalker guide

I have to get my boy to bed

Are you working tomz?

[SourceShield]

Bro,

Thats what I mean you even silkier goose...where else would you be??? <- LAY

You and I can only meet here anyway...ya crazy foooool <-LAY

No work until Friday but Ive just some good news, will share on OTT.

PeaceOut
WolfEatsSillyGoose

[1113]

Bro

PAST post.

I couldn't stop you if I tried.

You know I always got your back bro.

Peace

Carl lewis

Matt

[SourceShield]

Excellent.

Goodnight brother!

---

Carl Lewis = Lucy Lawless

---

[1113]

Bro,

Lets start!

I need a literacy lesson

How are you?

Felling the best

1113 is the time right now!

Matt

[1113]

liam hemsworth

[SourceShield]

Morning bro.

I'm well - I'm gonna write an OTT post after this about some good news that I got last night.

All is well.

---

Firstly...you need to play the game!

Don't be such a slacker...still waiting for your person's name!

Geez boy, can't take you anywhere!.

---

Okay...

For our first lesson, I want you to type and list as many words as you can by memory, start start with the 'prefix' - CON...

i.e.

Conspiracy

Connect etc etc etc ...

I'm trusting that you'll do this without any assistance from Google, to start off with.

Just list as many words that you can that start with 'con-', by memory alone.

Then when you have done that - I want you to check the spelling of all of them.

Makes sure that they're all correctly spelt, then post the reply, and we will go from there.

You can do it!.

---

Remember that your literacy skills will improve the more that you write more - just learn to check words that you're unsure about.

So start to write more to me, and just keep checking spelling etc.

That's why we have Google and online dictionaries etc.

You must keep up with your reading - this will improve your skills as well.

Read everyday.

Any words that you read that you dont know that meaning of, look them up.

---

I will wait for you person's name, before I continue with that...

---

Today is a good day.

I'm glad that you're feeling the goodness too.

MuchLove

Kaitoa

[SourceShield]

Liam Hemsworth = Holly Hunter.