My daughter is angry at the world and me

[blondguy]

Hey Everybody. I ma really stuck and need advice with my daughter. I love her to bits but she is angry at the world and me. I have been on the forums since January and being an old guy I just thought I ask for some help. Here is some background...if you can help me

• She gone all gothic and weird...post natal depression...wont talk about it or accept any help...
• Dyed her long blond hair jet black and wears a lot of black and umm...self injured last year when she couldnt see her married BF..
• She sent me a MMS of her 'injuries'...that really hurt to see
• Has just had a baby to her boss...he is married with 3 kids..and he has warned her not to say anything
• she asked me to borrow my 2007 XR8 when she had her car impounded and I said no...Now I am evil for saying no
• i did mention that under 25's cant drive the XR8...she didnt care...she just wanted to use it..I still said no...
• Christmas day 2015 I turned up with presents at her place and she said.."I have had a late night...can you come back tomorrow"?

I use bullet points so it would be easier to read and respond to. (I cant stand mega paragraphs) Do I just give her space...or just a phase?

She lives 10 minutes away and has 2 great kids to 2 different dads. I daughter who is 3 and her new baby son who is about 3 months..She doesnt do drugs. She wants everything now ....Platinum Foxtel...Leather lounge....VE SV6 Commodore.....and the single mums pension of course.

I spend a lot of my time on the Depression/Anxiety threads....but I am lost here....should I just let her find her own way? Any thought/opinion would be gold to me right now.....also...whats an emo?....and yes Im serious..is it a dark and depressed person?

Thankyou for reading and please do respond if you can help...Have a great weekend too!

My kind thoughts and respect

Paul 🙂

[Guest_322]

Hi Paul,

No worries at all 😊

Wow, thank YOU for your response. I certainly wasn't expecting that ha, ha. I feel honoured that my post is going in your "Coping" folder.

I'm glad that my post seemed to make sense as I wasn't sure if I was expressing my thoughts very well.

Thanks again Paul!

I really hope things with your daughter improve over time. You're a good man.

Dottie x

[Wednesday]

Hi Paul,

Just dropping by. I had an experience with my daughter I thought you might like to hear about?

I love her to bits but my uber professional, married, mother, big city, daughter she does turn into a princess when she visits, mum can you, where is, will you etc. She came to visit and gave me a bit of a talking to about all sorts of things like she isn't comfortable in my home these days, it's not like it used to be and so on. I wont bother with the details.

This all sent me into quite a spin.

After a week and a half of silence, I called her. She usually calls regularly on her way home from work or Skypes me. It's better to work with her timetable, because well I'm always around! I received a very different story this time. Instead she talked about how she hated seeing the changes in me as my health deteriorates. Each time I see her I'm apparently worse than the last time.

The morale to the tale is that what daughters say is not necessarily what they are thinking. Bloody kids, go figure!

Hugs, xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Paul,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your Dad. It all happened so quickly and it must have been so hard. I am glad you have your gorgeous dog to be with you and of course your support network here on BB.

Thinking of you,

Carol xx

[pipsy]

Hi ya, Paul. Sorry you're having issues with your daughter, on top of losing your dad. I've just survived major issues with my daughter. She got mixed up with drugs and alcohol. All good now, but touch and go for a while. She's having counselling so we're getting there. All you can do is hang in and let her know you're there. Hope you're doing alright. Take care of yourself, buddy.

Lynda

[Guest_322]

Hi Paul (aka The Legend),

I hope you're doing alright. I mean, it's hard to know with everyone here on BB...like how everyone is truly holding up...

Anyway...

I just wanted to swing by to say that I'll be taking a break from BB. I feel a bit repetitive but there were some people here on BB that I wanted to personally tell so I've been going around in circles saying the same thing haha.

Dottie does not feel like Dottie and needs some time out. I'll be composing in some of my down time to get my head back into shape. You probably know by now how much music means to me....

Also...You're such an incredible presence on BB and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you.

Dottie x

[blondguy]

Dear Dottie 🙂

For you to take the time to write such a wonderful & heartfelt message has made my day...more than you know.

To have the intellect/awareness to draw the line in the sand where your health is concerned is another sign of your solid core strength

I have never carried a unnecessarily huge ego......just a healthy one Dottie. I will be copying & pasting your wonderful message into my 'coping folder' with pride.

You abilities are more valued than you know. You do have an innate gift for caring for others as well as you do

Always here for you Dottie....and I really appreciate you taking the initiative to communicate so very well looking up this thread as a vehicle to do so 🙂

You have and always will be a gift (and a Champion) to Beyond Blue Dottie

(Hugs)

Paulx

[Guest_322]

Aw Paul...your post made me tear up. I'm touched. Thank you.

Copy and paste anything you like 😊

I know you're here for me and it means a lot. I also realise "it means a lot" can sound like such a throwaway remark but I do mean it. Right now, I feel emotionally shattered into many little pieces...and if history is anything to go by...music is the answer to put it all back together.

Random sidenote: I was reading something about music and its role in neuroplasiticity and how it's a growing area of research. Maybe if ("if" is the key word) I maintain my grades for honours, I might be able to write about this topic as my honours thesis. We will see...

Thank you again and keep sprinkling the Eagle magic around the forums.

Dottie xxx

Dottie xxx

[Quercus]

Hi Paul,

I saw on CMF's thread you were worried about your daughter self harming again.

That's a pretty stressful thing to have to cope with when there are little kids to worry about and your own MI to manage.

How are you holding up? I learnt today from Tony that Champions are fabulous at caring for others but need TLC too. Do you want to talk about it?

Further back in this thread you mentioned your GP said to take care of yourself first. Good point there! Your daughter is an adult and yes there is the pull to protect her but you need to be safe too. I hope you have people in your offline world supporting you.

Here for you in a heartbeat if you need help ok. Take care of yourself please 😊

[Quercus]

Hi Paul,

Somehow I forgot this week to reply to your post on my thread. So I wanted to send a belated thank you. The last few weeks have been a bit awful but I'll get there 😊.

Am thankful to have the support of kind souls like yourself. Joining the forums is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

How are you doing? I hope it's ok to write on this thread. Not sure if you use it much anymore. Just let me know please if there is a different one you use.

Hope you are walking the walk and being gentle to yourself too 😊

[blondguy]

Of course its okay to write here 🙂

If I can thank you for the mega kind post (above) It means more than you know

I havent been really too flash recently. Its like a brain fog....I joined Beyond Blue in Jan 2016 after being made redundant and have met many gentle people here like yourself Quercus 🙂

I am doing my best to let the mental illness symptoms 'float' past me which does work....to a point...and thankyou so much for the huge care factor as its always a bonus to be asked 'How am I doing' I dont hear that question very often...doh!

Despite providing support to others......I am struggling at the moment......and am trying to be gentle to myself

You have done some seriously balanced/non judgemental and caring posts on the forums by the way

Thanks Quercus xo

Paul