Dear Shell,
The words to your poem are both beautiful and haunting. You have put down in words exactly how I feel often towards my husband.
After a session with my new psychologist, I have realised I have built huge walls around me so I am no longer hurt by people. How can I expect love to reach me if I have blocked it and stopped my love as well?
I had not realised how my disassociating had begun to affect me.
People are not able to give me all that I need. I need to start loving and accepting myself, to release myself from my own unhelpful beliefs and values I have carried around with me. I realise I need to let go of unobtainable desires, and work on what is obtainable.
Right in front of me is a man who is his own person, whom I guess loves me in his own way, ways that do not always match up with how I desire to be loved. He is there. For now that is enough.
Accepting and loving myself more will calm my soul and make my heart feel less lonely.
That is my plan anyway, now I just have to put all of that into practise, one step at a time!
Cheers from Dools
