Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Guest_9809]

Hi Shell. Sorry its been a bad and pretty slow start to the day for you. But there is still plenty of the day left in order for you to find something good and positive about.

Yes Mrs D is a wise lady isnt she? She always has some great snippets of advice. Enjoy your hot chocolate, and then motivate yourself to get into the day!

Thinking of you Shell, and sending through an encouraging hug.

Taurus xx

[velvetfaerie]

***hugs shell***

whats wrong?

Velvet chae

[Doolhof]

Hi Shell, Chae and All,

Chae, I am sorry that you have split with your boyfriend and things didn't work out there. Any relationship splitting is difficult to cope with. My husband has no idea he is selfish and controlling at times. I believe he has traits of Asperger's.

If he does, it would explain his behaviour. If he doesn't then I guess it is just part of his character after all.

I like some of the suggestions Shell has given you for self pampering. It is always good if we can find ways to do that.

Hey Shell, while typing this, a couple of your posts popped up. Hope you managed to go and find "motivation". I've had a couple of long and busy days. Came home from Church and I was exhausted so went to bed for a while. Thankfully my husband made his own lunch instead of getting me up and asking what I was going to make him to eat!

Later on I found "Motivation" and cleaned most of the windows inside and out. I brought in the washing, decided my back needed a rest so will sort it out and put it away shortly.

How can we find Motivation? Sometimes for me it is to recognise I am able to do one small thing at a time. Other days, like today, I might decide to clean the windows.

Depression can suck away initiative and desire to do things. Acknowledging that might help to find more encouragement. We can acknowledge, okay I am feeling yuck today. I don't want to waste the whole day, so I will do something now, a task that is achievable and that I will appreciate doing.

Even if it is making the most of a patch of sun in the garden where you may feel more encouraged to then do something else.

Shell, tears are healing, I just think it would be nice if all that snot didn't come with them when you have a really decent cry! Ha. Ha. Not making fun of crying at all, it would be nice if it was a little more dignified.

I do hope you have managed to do something to help make you feel like today has been worthwhile. Even resting your mind and body so you have energy for tomorrow is worthwhile!

Cheers all and hugs to those who like them, From Mrs. D.

[Doolhof]

Hi Taurus,

Thank you so much for the very kind words. There have been many times in my life where I have so longed for a kind word, a little advice, some tips on how others have managed to make life more worthwhile.

I'm so very thankful I found this site a couple of years ago, it has helped me immensely. Some days I ponder what I am on this earth for, it is easy for me to be hard on myself and to not give credit for even a smile I give away to someone on the street.

We never know what a smile, a hello or a word of encouragement means to another person.

This forum is filled with people who care for each other and that is special.

Wishing all reading this a day where you feel special, important, like you belong and you have a purpose in life.

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[Guest_9809]

Pleasure Mrs D. I meant what I said. You are very wise and caring, and so much appreciated around here. I have noticed lately that your moniker has changed. Didnt you use to be a Community Champion? I see that you have now become a Valued Contributor. Does that mean you are still a CC as well? I wasnt sure. At least you are still here anyway, so pleased that hasnt changed.

You are so right about how a simple smile, kind word, or simple offer of help to someone, can mean such a lot to another person. You do that here on the Forums Mrs D, and I thank you for that.

Taurus x

[velvetfaerie]

Tears and exercise are helping me ATM.

boyfriend split - he needs to deal with his divorce and settle ment then we might try again later. It's hurting us both ATM. I had to end it for both our sakes.

I'm a lost soul too. I ponder why I'm here, and at times feel pointless.

Im glad I get to chat to you guys and at times even help.

Something I like to do when a bit blue is if I'm out and about, compliment a stranger in a nice but not creepy way. Making another persons day makes mine.

Velv.

[Guest_1055]

Ah T, it is nice to see you pop in here. Thankyou so much for the hug.

And you mentioned finding a positive in today. Mmmm I did not eat any junk today, I found " Motivation " to cook dinner, take the clothes of the line ( I did not hang them out though) and I did go to the gym too all this afternoon.

And I do agree Mrs D has some really good advice, and sometimes she explains it with some kind of lightness about it. And all mixed up with kindness. It does feel a bit weird taking about her but not to her. And one knows she most probably will read this.

And I am guessing you are feeling like the lady in your profile picture. All I want to do is wrap her in a beautiful soft purple quilt. And tell her I care so much about her.

T I also read your post about putting a gray and pink doggie jumper on your little dog. So cute...

May you get some kind of sleep tonight. I thinking of you too.

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

So true Mrs D, about tears being healing. I cry heaps. Happy or sad tears. I listened to this beautiful voice of a woman sing two Psalms. I was listening to it via my iPod whilst walking on the treadmill. Anyway more tears just fell, silent ones,but I did not care two hoots who saw me this time. Fear of what people think had vanished.

And yes I did find "Motivation", I decided to just do something and that was get dressed and go to the gym. Then cooked dinner. I still haven't washed the dishes though. So they just stare at me when I poke my head around the corner here.

Thanks for caring Mrs D. And good on you for cleaning the windows.

Good night

shell xx

PS .... I grabbed a hug of you too.

[Guest_1055]

Ah Chae... I am actually getting confused on how to address you. I have always called you Chae, but Velv is quite a pretty name. So do you have a preference??

You asked what was wrong...,,It is the verbal communication thing. Sometimes I attempt to talk to my hubby and what I say is mis understood. But it goes deeper than that. It is like I feel not important enough to him for him to bother with trying to understand me. This is why I understood you , when you said you felt unimportant. I know this feeling well.

Anyway some times he does try, but not lately. This also makes me feel alone somehow too. Coupled with the emotional feelings from the day before ( the awful envy ) it sort of all snowballed I think. Too much emotional turmoil inside my heart, I guess.

I too have pondered why I am here. Like what is the purpose . I know there is one for all of us. But where is it and what is it?? So yeah you are not alone in your thoughts there.

I long to help you feel not so sad. And it is great to say compliments to others, like you do.

Thanks for caring....

Shell xx

[velvetfaerie]

Shell, you can address me anyway you like 😄

Your husband sounds like my dad. My mum (and I ) understand those feelings well. Your situation is where you SHOULD feel valued. I think humans can take WAY too much for granted.

My situation with my now ex - he had nothing left to give to a relationship due to his divorce and settlement proceedings (plus kids and his manipulating ex).... I just couldn't be the least important thing all the time anymore. Maybe in time, once his things find equilibrium, but not now. I got so angry Friday night I hurled some venomous words at him. I regret this.

I've my own stuff to concentrate on anyway. Health concern, finishing tafe, my job, house, friends, gym etc etc... See? We can be selfish too. Stuff em!!!

Highly sensitive people - innate caring natures .... that's us and sometimes I wish I wasn't like that. Easy prey.

I better get up and find coffee..... work today even though it's a public holiday PAH!

Velvz.