Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[Wilma1]

Shelley, no hurt, triggers, just joining in somewhere I find myself at right now. We are strangers, but I'm finding friends here, with understanding. I'm actually new to the whole emotion thing really. Only started to cry a few months back after joining BB. I'm horrified at who I'm becoming, but hope to come to grips with it all really. A bit out of control roller coaster ride. I don't like rides by the way. So Shelly,,nothing to do with you,,just finding comfort from others doing similar things. Have a smashing time. Wishful

[Guest_1055]

Hi dear Elizabeth,

What a great idea that your grandma had getting out the old jam jars like that. I am imagining one of those old galvanised metal garbage cans now, with raised lines down the side. In goes one glass jam jar, in goes another. It is very loud noise hey.

[Guest_1055]

Hello Wishful, would it be okay if I addressed you as Hopeful? I am having trouble actually calling you the other name now. I don't know why either. I could possibly address you as WF though..

I am relieved that I haven't hurt you or anything. Thank you for your reassurance there.

Yeah emotions can be a little or a lot all over the place I think. At one stage in my life, I had to sort of practice and learn at naming what they actually were. Like the names of the feelings. ie you experience an emotion that sort of says in your mind "I wish I had a big beautiful house like that person" so that emotion you are feeling could be called envy.

Or one I have seen in you is the feeling or emotion of compassion, because it is true, I felt some of it come out of you and into my heart. So thankyou. And there is nothing horrible about compassion. All good

Gosh I sound like some sort of know it all, but I assure you, I am not.

So yeah.... the only rides I like are merry go rounds, you know with the horses .

In kindness

Shell xx

[Wilma1]

1. Shelley, that 1. Isn't supposed to be there, but I can't get rid of it, Arrr! Hopeful is just fine. thank you for posting back to me. I am touched by your gentleness. I get what you say about emotions, All over the place!!! Compassion, thank you! I like that.
2. That 2. Isn't supposed to be there either!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lost my thoughts now. Hope you are sleeping. Hopeful.

[Guest_1055]

Well......I have just had a meeting with frustration again, to the point where it forced its way out. I know there is still more there because I am feeling it. So in my imagination I am now hitting out at this punching bag and hitting the touch pad here too forcefully at the same time. And now I see a person, who I assume is Brian, is holding the bag.

Not sure if it has all gone, but do feel a little better, yet at the same time cautious of it still being there hiding. Sounds like complete nonsense. Or as if I am being way to dramatic. And now I am scared of what people will think of me, yet needing someone to listen to me... The other person wouldn't, they just left me here. Probably a good move on there part ( then again, I am confused about that)

Dear Hopeful, I am too mixed up the moment, I will post you back soon.

[Wilma1]

Shelley, I'm listening. You are not being dramatic at all. Get it out. Hopeful

[Guest_1055]

Thanks Hopeful, tears now because of your caring heart. Thank you so much for hearing me. Unable to say much more now.

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Hopeful, and it's the truth there is hope.

Yeah back to those little blue numbers that you typed and you didn't want them there. Well similar things happen to me also, especially of late. I don't know, it is like something within that just doesn't have the patience for things like that sometimes. Anyway did you work it out? If not ...

Let me see...I am pretty sure you just clicked on the rectangular grey box by mistake and perhaps tapped the tiny column of numbers. Yeah I just did it then, the blue number typed and then I clicked the column of numbers again, and the typed number deleted itself.

Gosh I am confusing myself, hope you can unravel all that.

Anyway I really appreciated you listening to me before, the "shouting out", it seemed like your were just there at the right time.

Much kindness

Shell xx

[Wilma1]

Shelley, those numbers often jump,out at me. I'll give the little grey key a try if it happens again. You are a very gentle person Shelley. I'm afraid I'm yelling quite a bit on the inside right now, so maybe you could give a little yell for me!!!

I hope you have a restful night. Hopeful

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Wishful, can you please tell me the breed of dog in your picture. I am not all that good with dog breeds. The dear little thing looks cute.

For those of you who don't know, I am assisting with the Riding for the disabled. I have decided to walk the ponies around and have left the 2 large horses until I have a bit more confidence. One tried to walk me into the fence all of the time. I don't have the energy to show that horse who is boss right now.

I'm learning a lot from these very special horses and ponies. They are so patient and calm with the riders of all walks of life. The horses seem to take the squealers and the wriggle worms all in their stride without causing a fuss.

As the horses line up and wait for the lesson to begin, some just close their eyes and have a little snooze while they are waiting. They don't seem to be in a rush or a fuss when the lesson does start. I am learning a sense of calm, patients, purpose and being at one with a beautiful creature.

We walk the horses in an area with trees, rolling hills in the distance and birds singing. It all brings me a sense of peace.

It is like I am being transported somewhere different. It is healing. Calming. Comforting.

Not sure if any of this fits in with this thread, just wanted to share an experience of peace with you all.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D.