Just want to Shout out

[Guest_1055]

I am just so tired, and I don't think I can try anymore. All I want to do is curl up tight and cry and cry. I am sick of this, and I even feel cross, as I said that. I can't do this, I just can't. And I don't think I want to anymore. I am not asking for any advice really and I am aware of the phone numbers and such., etc. But I just want to shout and shout out loud and say that I am plain sick of this. I am tired of struggling to get to where ever it is that I am going. I don't think I am making any sense either. So since I am unable to shout out in real life at the moment. I hope it is okay with whoever who reads this that I am virtually going to shout out now. I also feel like punching out, because it is just too much. It's too much.

I HATE THIS, JUST HATE IT. I AM TIRED OF FAILING AND FAILING. I JUST WANT TO GO.

[SourceShield]

Shell,

No need to explain...you take care of you.

Talk soon.

MuchLove

[pipsy]

Hey Shelley. I have been where you are with the constant 'why doesn't he love and protect me?' We can't force anyone to 'be there' if they are not capable. I can so identify with the 'why me, what did I do that was so wrong?' The unfortunate part is, you did nothing wrong except placing faith, love and trust in the wrong person. This is not your fault or theirs. This is something everyone who's relationship breaks up questions. I would've jumped through burning hoops for my ex to love and protect me. He wasn't capable, not his fault. I did nothing wrong except love the wrong guy. Then I decided I wasn't worthy of anyone, this too is wrong and negative thinking, brought about years of emotional abuse. To re-discover me, I came here. Through these forums, I found peace, acceptance and love. It's been a year since I left him. A painful, difficult year, but I made it. I'm alive and happier than I ever thought possible. I've discovered I am a worthwhile person, I do have someone in my life, but he has also taught me to be me and to appreciate my loving, kind, caring nature. In strength and acceptance of yourself, you will also discover that 'special' someone who can be what you want. I know at the moment, your depression is clouding your thought processes. Be kind and gentle to yourself, try to get some help for the depression. I hate saying this now, but he never rejected you, you were never truly connected. If you connect, there is seldom rejection. There is disagreeing, yes, this is normal, but the connection remains because compromise is always available when both parties are on the same page. Connecting means understanding, give and take, tolerance etc. Without these, there can be no real connection.

Lynda

[SourceShield]

Dear Pipsy,

I must say that I have read many of your comments on various threads, and they are always incredibly heartfelt and honest.

You're a beautiful, kind and compassionate soul.

Thank you for being you.

MuchLove

Kaitoa

[pipsy]

Hi Kaitoa. Many thanks for your comments. I have also followed your comments and you seem to be a 'kindred spirit' with your kindness and compassion.

Lynda

[BC68]

Hi Shelly. Hope you are feeling better soon. Next time you are imagining punching that bag I will be there holding it still for you. It wont knock you down again. Shout as loud as you need to. Thinking of you.

[Guest_1055]

Hey V,

I have noticed you have not been around as much as before, so I do hope this means your are indeed okay.

Anyway thank you so much for giving your time to me. Even that act of yours makes me feel somewhat worthy. It that is a nice feeling, because sometimes one listens to big fat lies in our own thoughts that say otherwise.

I hope I understand you alright? So are you saying by writing out what we are feeling or what we are going through, we sort of get a more understanding or clearer picture of ourselves, like our thoughts can unravel a bit. Because if you are well.....yes I would agree with that. And also perhaps you were helped or things were made more clearer to you about your own self, when you read my words?? And if that is the case, well I am very glad that maybe I have helped you in some way.

If you do end up reading this V, well here is a big thank you to you!

In kindness

Shell xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Source Shield would it be alright to address you as Kiatoa?

I hope you are getting along alright?

Yeah it can hurt when we just want someone to love us hey. I am sorry. I think all of us just want to be loved.

And I have never thought that failure was perhaps growing pains. It doesn't sound so bad when one looks at it that way does it?

I am glad you are getting healthy. That is something I am attempting.Trying to eat healthier food, at which I do fail at. And that does cause me great frustration. And I do get just plain sick of myself in that regard.

Well I haven't felt the need to shout out today. Crying but no pressure building up within.

Thanks so much

Shell x

[Kazzl]

Hey sweet Shelley. You've always given the best hugs and kindest, lovingest care to people in pain. I want to give you a big hug now and let you know I'm thinking of you.

Love ya

Kaz

[SourceShield]

Hi Shell,

Yes - all is well.

Sometimes life can be abit...all over the shop, but overall, I'm actually doing really well.

Thanks for asking!

If you ever wanna share about more of your story...go for it.

I like reading about how it is for people, reaffirms for me that, as you write, we all do just want to be loved.

And to know that we are lovable.

You are.

So am I.

We all are...even our perceived enemies.

Thats a tough pill to swallow but I do believe that all are worthy of love.

But thats just my opinion.

BTW - I have written a new thread entitled - OTT --- Old Thought Thoughts.

In the Staying Well section.

Its just about a few things that I have learnt along the way that keep me floating.

Check it out, and join in on the chat.

I do hope that youre having a good night, but if not know that we are here for you.

MuchLove, Shell.

Kaitoa.

[blondguy]

Hey Shelleybelly

Great to see Pipsy back let alone the great TLC from Kazzl, Mr Source, BC68 and V17

Thanks for asking about mum & dad and my daughter....Mum & my angry at the world daughter are doing okay...dad passed away last Thursday at 82. Its been very hard but thankyou for being your caring self

Paul xo