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It was all my fault

buster11
Community Member
Hi again - I'm not asking for sympathy nor understanding, a chat perhaps. I met an amazing lady about 2yrs ago and she took me in and cared for me amazingly. I was still seeing a lady that I'd spent time with previously but didn't and don't love at all, it was just companionship. I did the worse thing ever and slept with her again. Absolutely no idea why and I have regretted every second since. My partner who I just love beyond belief found out and we have been trying to work things out. The only thing is she has a really hard time dealing with it at times. For the past 2yrs it will be mentioned or more questions and it turns into a nightmare for me. I have done everything I can to write this horrible wrong but cant seem to get the chance to move on. About 3 weeks ago it came up again and out of frustration I've started harming myself because its something that keeps hitting in the face and just wont go away. I deserve everything I'm getting and dealing with but need it to go away (not forgotten) so we can both hopefully enjoy everything in front of us.
128 Replies 128

Things with my kids have been improving and that has been making very happy. Im waiting for another "incident" with my partner. I know I keep going on about it, but its a horrible feeling being on edge all the time. Sometimes not wanting to go home.

I hope your recovery is going well?

i know the walking on eggshells feeling! i live that way myself never knowing when the next incident will occur. its bloody hard work. im glad your having time with your kids, i know thats something that you enjoy.

im recovering well yes, 5 more days before sutures are emoved and then can get on with life again

Sounds perfect for you 🙂

What are your plans moving forward? You have everything in front of you 🙂

startingnew
Community Member
hi buster how are you going?

Hi Female SN. Im going okay - very exhausted tho. Lots of work going on and had to deal with another blow up the other night.

I hope things are going well for you?

hi buster. glad work is helping you though im sorry you had another blow up. have you tried talking to her about why she keeps bringing it back up? i mean if you are both wanting to move forward from this then she should be letting sleeping dogs lie

im going ok, celebrated my 21st on saturday and currently staying in a hotel for a break away

I agree and that's absolutely what I'm wanting. She just cant let them go - vents out and not afraid to say what she thinks. Love her to death but what can I do? Says she needs to express how she feels.

I hope you had a great great birthday? 21 is a great celebration and you should enjoy every second 🙂 The hotel sounds like a great time to yourself. Lap it up and don't be afraid to spoil yourself a little.

have you thought about couples therapy? it might help her to express how shes feeling but also for you and for the both of you to be able communicate and get support and make it what happens in therapy stays in therapy and doesnt have to keep coming up all the time.

and yeah my birthday was quite good. i did enjoy my day away at a hotel

I'm really pleased that your day went really well. You have everything in front of you now.......perfect 🙂

She wont go to therapy at all. Her thoughts are that it wasn't her fault that we are here so she shouldn't have to. It wasn't her that broke us.......it was me.

hi Buster

sorry i havent been here for a few days i havent been mentally well myself.

im sorry she just blames it on you but i also wish that she would see shes making things worse and get some therapy as well