It was all my fault

[buster11]

Hi again - I'm not asking for sympathy nor understanding, a chat perhaps. I met an amazing lady about 2yrs ago and she took me in and cared for me amazingly. I was still seeing a lady that I'd spent time with previously but didn't and don't love at all, it was just companionship. I did the worse thing ever and slept with her again. Absolutely no idea why and I have regretted every second since. My partner who I just love beyond belief found out and we have been trying to work things out. The only thing is she has a really hard time dealing with it at times. For the past 2yrs it will be mentioned or more questions and it turns into a nightmare for me. I have done everything I can to write this horrible wrong but cant seem to get the chance to move on. About 3 weeks ago it came up again and out of frustration I've started harming myself because its something that keeps hitting in the face and just wont go away. I deserve everything I'm getting and dealing with but need it to go away (not forgotten) so we can both hopefully enjoy everything in front of us.

[demonblaster]

You're welcome ☺

Listening anytime you need to talk

Go easy

[buster11]

Really really wanting to come onto this site and say life is going really well.

This seriously seriously needs to stop. But it just doesn't.

I've been doing some research and I think my partner is a narcissist. Inflicts emotional, mental and physical abuse. I've provided the bait and will forever pay for it. But I just love her so very much 😞

[startingnew]

Hello Buster

Im really glad to hear life is going well for you.

Idont have experience dealing with narcassists though. If you take a search on bb in the search bar im sure youll find many threads around a narascist partner and how to cope

Good to hear from you again

[buster11]

Hi again Startingnew - I hope things are going well for you?

My comment on life going really well was actually me saying that one day I'd like to come on here and say that, unfortunately its not - in fact the opposite.

I will do that search and hopefully find some good advice.

[startingnew]

Oh geez im sorry i misunderstood that!

I hope it gets easier for you and your search comes up with something if not you could try making your own thread on it?

[buster11]

How are things Startingnew? I hope things have been going really well?

[demonblaster]

Hi Buster how are you going?

Have you had any luck with research here

I'm sorry things are not going well for you

Listening if you want to talk

[buster11]

Hi demonblaster - things just don't seem to be no. I keep saying decisions need to be made on my part, but they are massive. I'm really at a loss. As I've said in earlier I believe I'm living with a narcissist. As I've also said I have also added to the fire by my actions 2yrs ago. I really also believe that she has an alcohol issue? At a minimum a bottle of wine per night. I'm living on eggshells and I don't want to exaggerate, but its completely depleting me of everything I thought I was.

[demonblaster]

Hey Buster,

It sounds like you're in a hard spot. I don't know much about narcissim although have a friend who's been in a difficult relationship of same nature which doesnt from what I've heard at all sound easy. Alcohol on top adds I imagine to tension.

I can and am happy to be here to support and listen when ever you need to talk Buster. As much and often as you feel up to.

I imagine here on a search you'd be able to find others in your position not that I'll not be here for you just don't have any helpful insight.

Take care Buster.

Sorry it does sound hard where you're at

Support 🕊