It doesn't get any better

[Lostworld]

It's been 2 years now that i have been seeing doctors near weekly and still my mind is clouded with the question "Why?" Why go on, why bother, life is just too hard, i keep thinking of how to end it, the anti depressants i just came off had me curled up in bed 20 hours a day grinding my teeth and petrified to got out, even now I am off them, i feel it's all pointless.

[blondguy]

Hey Barry

I know you feel like crap my friend but I see an achiever....because you have been most of your life...

Is that an old Ford Escort in your pic Barry? I have my head pressed up against my screen and I still cant tell...

A pat for Titan if you can

Its great to have you here Barry

Paul

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

I can't agree, who is a loser?

If life was always smooth, never any money problems, no health hassles - mental or physical and so on - the whole ball of wax.

What sort of person does that make for? Most probably someone who could not fight, was soft, gave up if things went wrong, had no experience to draw on.

Now take someone who has faced mountains in life and has hung on, done as good as he can with what he's been given, what sort of person does that make? Most probably somebody I'd prefer to be with, we would have understanding and things in common.

So you have more to offer someone you meet - like your birth-mother - than you seem to realize. It's a real pity you did not meet, maybe another time.

If you think I'm crazy for talking as I do above stop and think, who would you relate best to, someone who has faced hard times or someone soft?

I recon Paul is wrong - it's a lancer in your picture.

Pat for the dog please

Croix

[Lostworld]

Right now I dont want to be around anyone, going places where people are freaks me out, I can't do it anymore.

You are right its an A72 Lancer that came with a 1,400cc Saturn motor, it's one of the cars I use to rally, the other being a KE55 Corolla Levin Coupe with a 2TG with Yamaha heads, that did 14 sec 1/4 mile on dirt.

I have an A72 Lancer in the shed that I want to replicate the Wynns Safari winner. The problem is getting the desire to get up and do anything. It just seems pointless, alone, with no chance of a decent life.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

Yes well at least I got the car right. I could not drive in a rally, have done a few trips as a navigator with notes and stopwatch in NSW, no biggies though, was in a Renault.

Trying something by yourself, I found getting started the hardest, thinking like you, no fun by myself, then things sort of took over and I was interested in the thing for it's own sake.

Who says you will always be alone? As I said -and I bet you did not believe me - you have a lot more to offer than you seem to think. Just on rallying you can give miles of advice if some young bloke wants to get going. There's a lot locked up in your head one way or another.

I would imagine even if being with people is a hassle at the moment it will not always be that way, to be fair I guess it would depend on the person you were with.

Another pat please

Croix

[blondguy]

oops...Croix was right...a Japanese Lancer.....I really need to book in to see my optometrist....

The Lancer was well built from scratch. Sorry to insult your pic by saying it was a badly built english escort Baz

Barry mentioned "KE55 Corolla Levin Coupe with a 2TG with Yamaha heads, that did 14 sec 1/4 mile on dirt"

That is seriously quick Barry.....and on dirt. You would eat my 1850kg Ford XR8 for breakfast...

Pat for Titan please Baz

My heartfelt BEST for you

Paul

[Lostworld]

Dear Croix

he is on the bed with all his bears, so no pat for now, it would be mice to get the car going and do the Targa, it would be special in a few ways, having lived not far for Peter Brock and being a fan. It is almost like paying respect.

It is so cold here tonight I guess the road north will have black ice or even snow, well thats what it feels like.

I couldnt navigate, my lunch would be in my lap, part of having PPPD, sailing I always got sea sick the first day out and then came good. I know you will say that is an example of how things can get better, some things can but I have been too wide eyed to be wide eyed ever again.

[Lostworld]

The 1,400 Saturn is going to go and be replaced with a 2,600 Astron from a Scorpion, that should make it go a bit better.

The escorts are good, my friend in Thailand has a mint one he has done up with a turbo Nissan SR20 blacktop for gymkhana, which I also did in my E30. He now now has a escort panel van with a turbo 2JZ.

It would be really good to have a friend here who has the same interest in cars.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

Well, how about a delayed pat when not snoozing with bears?

Yes it sounds excellent to fix it up and go in Targa, though you'd have to watch out for mugs with flash cars and too much money. Every years there is someone with a Lamborghini or Porsche or similar off the road.

That sounds pretty cold, too cold to be in a workshop unfortunately.

That black ice is something. I remember once I was in Tassie going down that mountain from Scottsdale and only doing around 5kph. Slid straight between 2 guide posts, did no harm but pretty scary as no control whatsoever - just kept sliding.

Dunno about wide-eyed. All I know is good stuff has happened to me and I never thought it would.

Croix

[blondguy]

Hey Barry....did the Mitsubishi Scorpions come out in about 1980..1982?

I think they were made in Japan at the time and were super expensive too

Please let me know if I have my dates of manufacturing screwed up

Sorry to insult the Ford Escorts Baz.....whoops

[Lostworld]

Its ok, the old escorts are ok.

I went to fill me script for the benzo i take and there are none available till July, what are they doing, they know the effects.

Its cold here and I keep waking up in what you would describe as pain level 10, its in the hips, i just want to cut them off.