Im new. Unsure how to start.

[Sapphire_]

Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.

[Emmy.]

Oh Sapphire I wish I could give you a big big hug.

I have been sh a lot too (haven’t admitted to my husband) but I know it’s not the answer, but it’s our way of coping. We need to find a new way. So many people would be devasted to lose you hun. If you can’t hold on for yourself, try to hold on for them. It’s what I do, I hold on for my husband.

The fact you’re realising you need help is a huge step! Please consider going back to the ed. Keep talking with us. We all really care about you. Xxxxxxx

[startingnew]

Hi Sapphire

im sorry your struggling so much. we are here for you

hugs and hugs xoxo

[Sapphire_]

Thank you Sophie_M.

Its nice to know so many people care and that im not alone. Ive been convinced for so long that noone cared about me and that i was alone. Maybe more just that i didnt deserve peoples care and help.

I think rereading posts is a good idea. Im just scared of reading and getting to the point where i went back down. But it will be good to read the posts where i was on the up and beating this thing.

Ive got someone from the community doing a follow up call at 7pm tonight. Im going to ask them about hospital. I think i made a huge mistake declining going in there. I know i need the extra help. Especially right now, after all the major events ive just been through and planned my exit after those events. I need the help and now that ive declined it im not sure what to do and feel lost and scared that this is it.

Thankyou for being here for me. Its comforting to know you and everyone else believes in me. Now to believe in myself.

X

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Sapphire,

Awe sweetheart I'm so very sorry for your immense pain.

Please can you consider going back to the ed, They will look after you until you feel safe with yourself..There professionals.

Please Sapphire don't do that, Please never again.. I'm just getting to know what a beautiful person you are, I am so interested in getting to know you properly you are so your very important to me. and I'm certain others here at BB, as Sophie..M said .."We won't give up on you". ever..Please believe us..

When your feeling down, come on here, speak to us, we're all here to look after you and help you..

This will pass, Sapphire, it has before, it will again, please just hang on to your friends here..We all need you, we all care about you..You are very special to us..

Awe my hearts crying for you, I so much want your hurt to go away, I don't know what to say to you, so that you can fully understand that these are just not my words I put down here, but these are my feelings and my care I have for you, Please Sapphire, please get some professional help, talk to your gp or psych and try to start your meds again, your important to so many here. Please you need to believe we all care about you..We're all here for you..

Talk here Sapphire, don't keep your thoughts inside you, put them here, get them out off you, talk them out with the wonderful caring people here, please sweetheart can you try to do this..

We are all here for you.

Warm and caring hugs,

Grandy..

[Sapphire_]

Deebi. Thank you for you lovely reply and even more for sticking by me. I know i can be frustrating for everyone.

I took your advice and had a nice relaxing hot hot shower. Washed my hair and just stayed in there as long as possible. Now im just laying on my bed relaxing as im so tired.

I have an appointment on Wednesday to see my gp regarding meds. So will chat with him then. Hubby is probably goi ng to come with me to make sure i actually go.

My dog is named Ele. As in Elephant lol 😆 pronounced Ellie. She is a Maltese Shihtzu 🐑 my lil lamby

💙Sapphire

[Sapphire_]

Grandy. Thank you for your caring posts. Means alot. Truely does. You dont need to say much at all. Just knowing your here helps me.

I think its too late to go back to the ed for help to be admitted. Maybe i can do this at home. With community care. Im just really scared atm. I feel like every decision i make is the wrong one.

Hubby just left for work and its just me and my sister here. Sister is no help. She doesnt understand because of her disability. Plus weve not been getting along that well lately. I actually have been trying to avoid her. She just is so intense sometimes and i cant deal with it. Makes me feel like a shit person.

Thank you for all your encouragement and for holding my hand. 💙

[Sapphire_]

Thank you Emmy. I do need a hug thanks 🤗. Im sorry to read that you also sh. Its not nice feeling afterwards. Good in the moment for that release but then the shame and guilt after is not great and adds to the problem in the first place. I kept it a secret from everyone for a long time. Been doing it since about 13 so have become apt at hiding it. Just sometimes i make a mistake or am to distressed to control myself and require medical attention. Hopefully you can come to a point to let your hubby in, and tell him whats happening for you. (Swallows on advice) 😶

X

[Sapphire_]

Thanks dear Starts. I needed those hugs and hugs 😊

Im sorry i havent been by your thread in a few days. I will get there. Just hard atm. I hope your doing better too.

💙💙💖💖

[startingnew]

youve no need to apologise Sapphire. nows a time to focus on you. we are here to support you too xoxoxo

[demonblaster]

Sitting with you too ☺

You're good at expressing, talk if you want, we're listening

💙 the ocean..see it in your mind ..beautiful ..calm..

🌴 perfect day...

🌝 sun...

🌈 light...

Slowly breath in ...no hurry... 1 and 2 and 3... ocean...that's the way, fill your lungs..4.. and.. 5...relax your neck ... slowly breath out..5...4...3 ... feel the tension leaving your body ..2 and 1...relax and soften your shoulders.

It's easier to get through if we relax and to sleep...breath in... nice and slowly...

How bout ringing here darl 1300 224636 it's ok to get help

Let the thoughts through

💙 hugs Sapphire