Im new. Unsure how to start.

[Sapphire_]

Hello. Im new. I dont really know where to start. My heart is pounding, Im so anxious to be on here. Im not sure if its the right thing to do. I've never spoken to anyone about how i feel or anything. Even my husband. I just cant. I dont really know what i am supposes to do. I feel so alone and lost.

[Ggrand]

Hello Sapphire,

Tomorrow is your big day, your friends wedding, I hope you can have a good day and enjoy yourself with your friends..

Wow Deebi, beautiful post to Sapphire..extremely helpful.xx

Sapphire, you need to start believing in yourself, you're stronger then you think, all the negative thoughts I can hear from you, please turn them inside out and upside down and start thinking positive things about yourself and your future.

The more you think on the negatives the more they will grow, your feeding them by thinking about them. If you even think one positive thought and keep thinking about it then positively within yourself will grow..

You are an extremely important person to many here. .We are reason, how many people here that are helping you will be shattered and think we didn't try hard enough for you?..If you cannot find a reason then please sweetheart think of us and how we will be effected..Please...

Once you can get some decent sleep you will feel better, Tonight when you lay dow, think of some bands/ singers or countries/ cities, first of lay down get comfortable then in your mind start by naming them, just in a relaxed way, think only of what your naming, it will stop you from thinking negative thoughts..I used to work in a lollie factory and I try to name the different types of lollies and soon I fall asleep. It's worth a try..

With all that said,

I really hope you sleep well tonight and tomorrow is a good and exciting day for you, leave your home tomorrow with thoughts of how happy you are for your friend, let her see your happiness..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy.

[demonblaster]

You're welcome Sapphire always 🤗

Oh that's great hearing she seems nice we need to be comfortable with someone if we're going to let them go in deep. That sounds like a positive and only if/when you're up to it would you like to talk about the strategies could help others and or us.

Oh and another win for you is you weren't going to go to the hens night and you did. You're finding your🔥 in several ways good on you girl 👍

Yes I and I imagine your support team here too also have concern that you were waiting for the wedding also although I'm stoked you found some oomph to do your room alarm bells rang then too. Well done opening up btw like you did it's not easy I know there's stuff for me that's easy and other I know now from here I need to. I don't see her regularly same over the yrs due to lack of $ though its only about $40 outta pocket but comfy with her she's very good.

Yes what you said makes sense. To keep occupied and refocus till next visit.

Withdrawing is common with depression and adds to our feeling of being alone and worthless which is beasty doing it's job oh so well but you taught us not to believe it or do what it says

I did 3 days recently its crippling financially and of course health but it's up to you but I've realised the hardest times to give up are in our hardest times. More stress on top of max stress isn't a good mix.

Enjoy your day tomoz chooks and yes get yourself dressed up and rip the dance floor up if you're a dancer but if not let your hair down huns you deserve a good day/night out. This is happy memories that you'll share with your friend for a lifetime.

You I believe are going to pull up lovey although there's more time needed you've started too already. You're a survivor. Our friend 🤗💙

Nigh nite hun sleep well ☺

Thank you dear Grandy wow if every one was like you 😚

[Sapphire_]

Grandy, Deebi and Starts.

I just lost a post...

Anyway..

Im so sorry I have made you feel somehow responsible? for me. I in no way want anyone to feel as though they have failed me or could have done more. You have been there for me from the start and have been a tremendous support for me. Honestly you guys have the utmost respect from me for all the help you have given me.

Im so sorry, i never wanted to hurt anyone, which is why im thinking of leaving the forums. I dont want to hurt anyone or bring anyone down with my ugly thoughts. Maybe i opened up too much. I should never have burdened any of you with my darkness.

I respect the hell out of everyone here.

💙Sapphire

[demonblaster]

Sapphire sweet girl 🌿

No no no my lovely I've said before the only way you'd let us (think I can speak for your beautiful team) down is if you leave. The wrong choice leave

Huns please please don't give this another thought you've got an awesome day today and you need your head in good space for all the love and happy celebrations.

You mean a lot Sapphire 🤗

I got you a 🎁 for the wedding, it's a dazzling sparkly 💙 Sapphire coloured bracelet that will go perfectly with your dress that I have no idea what colour it is 😄🤗 enjoy today darls remember let your pain be free and tear that dance floor 🤸‍♀️🤹‍♀️👗🎉🎊🎈🎀✨

Deep care

[Ggrand]

Sapphire, I'm so sorry, you took it all the wrong way..What I was trying to say is we care so much about you, that we would be devasted if anything happened to you...Oh no Sapphire I'm sorry I wrote that I was only trying to help you see how much your cared for... Please believe me, when I say I'm really really sorry..

[Sapphire_]

Im so sorry Grandy and Deebi for upsetting you. Was not my intention. I tend to take things the wrong way. You have nothing to be sorry for Grandy at all please dont be upset. Im stupid.

Thank you for all the support care and love.

I love the bracelet Deebi. I will wear it with pride. Goes well with my floral dress. Its a lovely sunny day here so im hoping will remain like this all dy for my friend.

💖Sapphire

[Emmy.]

Hi Sapphire. I hope it’s ok that I came and found your thread. I can relate to so much that you wrote in your first few posts. I’ll read back through more. I also battle with self harm behaviours. Only something I’ve recently opened up about to my psychiatrist. Anyway as I said I’ll read through your posts to get to know your journey a little more but know I’m here hun. Xx

[demonblaster]

Sapphire darlin nothing to be sorry about honestly. I figure we've known eachother long enough and been through stuff together to be able to be honest which will help you I hope. You didn't upset me 🤗 at all.

Even if we didn't have MH issues it's normal for people to misunderstand or get upset, but it goes both ways if I say something you don't like tell me, it might hurt but better to air it and talk ☺ and if I can see where I went wrong I can improve.

Ohhh yeah the bracelet does look gorgeous and I see you've got Sapphire and Cobalt in your floral dress, what colour shoes? So glad it's sunny there it's windy here and a little bit rainy I just walked before and nearly did a Mary Poppins with the umbrella going up up and away with me attached ind you good luck with that one....annnd yes ...we have lift off...wait...no...yes...nearly

Have a blast girl I'm excited and proud of you. Looking forward to hearing about it and I'm sure you'll have some lovely pics to put in your room

👗💗 💙 👡👄

Tnoughts 🤗

Hi Emmy ☺ Grandy SLD 🤗🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Sapphire,

I wasn't going to come back in again because my post to you nearly made you leave the forums and I felt/feel really not okay with myself for that...Im really sorry Sapphire..

You are not stupid Sapphire, you a very sensitive and gentle person, and I care a lot about you. My problem is...#1...I believe people's word 100% most times....#2..I'm very impulsive and just do things, I don't think things over. and when I hear.....people saying that they want to end it, or they've made plans etc.. I think I go into panick mode at lightning speed, and feel so hopeless, because well your there and I'm here..So please Sapphire believe me, I am the stupid one for not taking time out to breath before writing a response to you..😢.

I hope your friends wedding went good and you had a great time...

I will check in on you after, if it's still okay?

Kind and caring thoughts,

Grandy..

[startingnew]

Hi Sapphire xxo

i think you said todays was your friends wedding? i do hope you have a good night and your mh bes nice so you can enjoy yourself.

hugs xoxo