I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Music_Freak]

I even dreamed about a carport...

I was sitting in my car talking to my mum and crying about having done it and it crashed down around me and enveloped the car so I couldn't get out

[james1]

Hey narelle sorry I don't have any useful advice but I wanted to post to let you know I'm listening.

I also dream about stuff in nervous about so I know how crap it is to wake up from that.

Hugs

James

[Guest_5218]

Oh Narelle, thats really sad. I feel for you.

You are letting all this get to you though, it doesnt need to. Its not the disaster you currently seem to feel that it is. The whole project is still salvagable. You can still have your carport. Take a bit of time out and then come back to it when you feel in a better frame of mind.

At least you tried ............ it is better to have tried and failed, than to have never tried at all. There is so much truth in that proverb Narelle. And I dont see it as a failure anyway, although you seem to. I see it as a sign of progress that you were ready and prepared to actually try to make something good happen.

Attack it again soon and, as you are now forearmed with the knowledge of everything that needs to happen first, next time you will be successful. And soon you can be sitting in your car safe and secure under your carport and talking to your Mum. You are definitely making progress lovely. Your Mum would be so proud of you Narelle.

Big hug to you, and lotsa love.

Sherie xx

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

I am not sure why you call the carport a failure. If anything I am impressed that things went wrong but you acted quickly and were able to resolve it without any financial impact. That's a win and a good example of how you acted quickly to mitigate a problem. They ask those type of questions sometimes in job interviews.

So well done. I think you did great.

Try to let go and focus on the future.

Thinking of you,

Carol

[Music_Freak]

Yeah, I guess so 🙂

I'm going to try again...just might take a week off! 🙂

I hate feeling this rattled and confused though

[Music_Freak]

Thank you again, everybody...your faith in me means more than you'll ever realise 🙂

I'm having a lazy day of doing nothing but veging in bed...trying not to think too much

I will get this carport (somehow!) and I do hope my mum will be proud of me for doing it...I don't know whether she is at the moment though, since I've failed at just about everything in my life so far...

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Narelle,

Why don't you try and fit in a short walk or even just sitting outside in the sun for a bit. Not sure where you are in but it's lovely here in Sydney.

Going forward you will succeed at plenty, look forward lovely xx

[Music_Freak]

Thank you for your bullet point post Emmy. I needed that 🙂 You weren't being bossy at all, it was very thoughtful with everything you have going on

I've got written permission from housing SA (housing australia was a good effort in guessing 🙂 ) even though I can't find the letter right now...I know its somewhere...but I can contact them again, I think

I've also been on the council website, so things sort of make more sense now, but I don't fully understand (hopefully the guy helps, I'll be paying him to deal with them)

I will email him tomorrow, once I figure out what to say...he hasn't been out yet, that was cancelled just like the purchase

[Music_Freak]

I did go outside Carol, both with and without Buddy since the weather was sunny.

I dismantled an old sun damaged doggy door from my uncle, which has been sitting in my backyard for years - it definitely helped with my level of frustration!

[Lost_Girl]

Yay! Great work Narelle! Day by day. You're doing well.