I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Birdy77]

Hi MF,

Sorry about the Halestorm funds going on eyewear. On the upside, seeing clearly is a pretty good thing. You can start saving for that goal again.

With the email from your mentor, I think you can be honest with them, let them know that you are feeling pretty anxious and unsure, it will be good for them to know that so they are able to support you properly. If they know that you're not feeling confident, they can assist you better.

Do not be afraid to utilise the help and support that is available. It is there for you. If you don't use it , who will? If not now, then when? Don't be afraid.

Do you like your new specs? I want new specs ...

🌻birdy

[Music_Freak]

Tim, Funny how you say "Be yourself and you will fit in", I've never fit in anywhere in my life. Not even with family or so called friends...

I was a little more active during last nights workshop, turned out someone from my course was there and we start at the same time.

[Music_Freak]

Thanks Birdy,

The glasses should be worth it and I do like them, although, I'm not sure I'll have them in time for the Group Work day next Thursday...should make driving in an unfamiliar area fun - NOT!! I will email the uni and see if I need to see a lot that day and if they can help in any way. Just another epic fail from me...yay...

I will email my mentor later today and try not to sound too down in the dumps. I stayed in bed until 9 and listened to the rain and it feels strange to be starting my day so late. I had Buddy's snoring head in my armpit, so I was somewhat being held hostage 🙂

I'm still bummed about my Halestorm fund, but hopefully they don't come to Australia this year (seems unlikely). Fingers crossed I can save again...

[smallwolf]

Let me re-phrase that then.... "Do not pretend to be something you are not". Students will go to extraordinary lengths to pass, meet criteria for assessments etc. They eventually get found out.

also the move active you are, or the more you practice the better you will get. The same applies with meditation etc. Practice, practice, practice.

Tim

[Music_Freak]

I feel like I've made a big boo boo with uni. Thinking I should have tried for the bachelor of social work (honours), not just the bachelors degree.

I've sent an email to see what can be done, when I'm in the course I'm in...but will probably ring on Monday.

I wonder if I'd manage the honours degree as well. I'm not sure what the difference is but I'm assuming the job prospects are better and that's what someone like me needs.

My brain hurts...

[Music_Freak]

After researching a bit more, I doubt the honours programme is something I'd cope with. The entry score is 13 more than the bachelors degree. Plus you have to have a certain GPA or you slip back to the bachelor's level anyway.

Funny thing I noticed though was that if you complete the bachelors degree in social work, you're not eligible for the masters...it has to be a different field...

This uni stuff really doesn't make an ounce of sense to me!!

[smallwolf]

Just start with the standard bachelor degree and once completed you can re-evaluate. And if you can maintain a credit level achievement, you can still get in. Once you get used to it all you can determine what to change.

Fwiw... I have decided to defer this term on the basis of lack of available subjects and after speaking with a lecturer I am friends with thought it best not to put too much pressure on myself.

You are doing well. And Pamela, if you read this, you were correct.

Tim

[Music_Freak]

I'm just going to stick to my original plan, I'm probably setting myself up for failure as it is, at least that's what it feels like. It doesn't make sense to make it harder

[Ggrand]

Hello MF,

Positive thinking makes positive results.. try if you can to say, I can do this..it's what I want, I can do this...You will do good...I

I know nothing at all about college etc, lol I only did 2 month into year 7 and had to leave..so my education is not so good..Inthink that if you do what you set out to do, you will achieve it, then if you want to go further, you can continue on...I'm not sure if this is possible,Mathis is just my thoughts..

How is your sleeping and getting up to alarm going?

Wishing only the best for you MF..💜🕊.

Grandy..

[Music_Freak]

I'm trying to stay positive about what I'm doing, but it's so hard. I still wonder if I'll even get a job after putting myself through it all...

I'm not even sure I can progress further with my degree...I won't be eligible for the masters and the honours is a whole separate degree, going by what I've been reading. I'm still confused...

My sleeping and getting up has been fine lately...not too sure I'm a fan of the falling asleep at 10pm, but it beats still being awake at 4am. I've just changed my weekday alarm from 8 to 7am this week and my weekend one is set for 9am. Not sure if I should make that 8am or not, but Buddy wanted me up at 7am today and was his usual pushy self, so out of bed at 7:45 it was!!