I feel alone and I don't like the life I have

[mg24]

Hi, this is my second thread. I just have some other feelings I kind of wanna talk to someone about. (i'm 14)

I feel really alone. I don't have a best friend, but I don't have any other friends either. I hang out with this group but only because I've been with them since year seven and I don't want to look like a loner. There aren't really any people I can hang out with from my grade, I've definitely tried looking. It also feels like everyone thinks I'm a loser, people don't want to text me or talk to me at school. I'm part of two sport teams and I still can't find anyone. I know that friends will 'present themselves in time' and all these other things but I don't want to be alone for four years. I don't want to have to keep my feelings to myself all the time and never be invited anywhere.

I also went to England last year to visit my family and I miss it so much. My family can't really afford to go often but I feel like my family is missing me grow up and there are so many things and experiences and relationships I want to share with them. I can't go during two week breaks because we generally go for three weeks plus and I can't miss any school but my mum says that the six week holidays are too expensive and we won't like the weather. I tried to get there another way by going through a student exchange to just escape for a bit and experience something new and meet new people, but my mum shut that down. I've tried coming at this at every angle all my mum says is that I need to get over it and look at what I do have and stop being s negative but I don't know what there is to look at! I have no friends or social life, I personally hate Australia (no offence), and I'm going through some really hard feelings alone so I'm not sure what great things she's talking about. I don't want to do this life anymore, I hate it but there's nothing I can do about it. I also don't want to waste four years of my life, especially my teenage years. My parents say that if I'm going through something I should tell them or just someone except I don't have anyone to tell and they always ignore my feelings. I told my mum I wanted to move after high school and my mum said she would never forgive me if I did. I cry almost everyday because I want to go back so badly and she knows how much I miss it, and she's still saying this. I don't want to have to move away and never see her but I hate it here. I have no idea what to do or where to go.

[Chloe_M]

Hi 🙂

You don't have to tell your mum you know... I didn't tell my parents that I was going until much after. They shouldn't tell your parents and all that they tell you will remain confidential.

If you decide to go, they will probably take notes and put them in your file. No one but the counsellor is able to access that information.

If you decide to go I think you will benefit from it, one way or another. you might decide he/she was worth seeing again and really helpful. Then they can give you strategies and ongoing help. Or you may decide it was a waste of time and consider doing a web chat or something with eheadspace or BB if you want help.

x Chloe

[mg24]

Yeah I know. I just want her to know and to understand instead of just pretending I’m okay. Idk lol

[Ggrand]

Hello mg24.

Ive just been reading the last couple of pages in your thread mg24.

You said ..you feel that your issues are not really important, please can I tell you that yes they are important... and so are you..

Mg24, your mum asked you what's wrong, I'm thinking that she can see that your not really yourself and she's concerned about you and by asking you what's wrongs she wanting to help you..

Maybe mg24 you could ask your mum if you could just sit down and talk to her for a while because you are not okay, tell her your fears, how your feeling, let her know and that you would value her help and understanding..

I hope your weekend is reasonably good.

Kind thoughts,

Grandy xx

[mg24]

Hey Grandy, thanks for replying to my thread. It’s good to hear someone confirm what I’ve bedn thinking I guess. I think your right, she can see and we’ve kind of talked about it a bit but then the next day it’s like it never happened. You basically summed up what I want to tell her. There are sill little things too, like guys not liking me that I just want to talk about with her too cause when I’m being honest that affects me too. I just feel like she’ll, I don’t know just not react well. I miss England so much and I’m still so upset about it but I don’t know how to tell her because the last time I did she said if I kept thinking like that I’d end up on anti depressants and that I needed to “buck up”. I really want to tell her everything there just never seems to be a good time and I don’t know how to bring up. 😕 my weekends been... okay I guess. It’s kind of lonely.

[smallwolf]

Mg24,

My daughter will tell me she is fine even though I know it is not the case. So I will leave her until she is ready to tell me. Or she might speak to Mum.

As far as myself is concerned, I know that my thoughts are irrational but I still have them. To those people who ask me what I have to worry about, I will tell them that very thing... I know that it is irrational but that doesn't stop the thoughts that I have. (By the way, in saying that you are also agreeing, sort of, with them, and it takes away their argument.)

As far as telling your mum is concerned, could you write a note, send an email. The advantage of this is that you can get your thoughts out in a logical manner. When I told my wife, I said we are going out for coffee tomorrow. But sometimes I resorted to email because at the time my thoughts are confused, and if you asked me how I am at that time, I will say no and walk out or.....

There is no easy way to start this conversation. And I hope it will be like this for you, and provided you can talk to each other and doesn't become an argument, your relationship will strengthen and you might have a weight lifted off your shoulders.

I also know that school days can be the best of days and worst of days, from the experiences of my own kids. Hang in there.

Smallwolf

[mg24]

Hey. You’re so right about email, when you talk in person who end up forgetting so much and it doesng always come oit right. I just worry that makes it seem less real or easier to forget idk

[Chloe_M]

Hi Milly, just wondering how your weekend was. I was busy so i wasnt on the forums.

x Chlo

[mg24]

Hey, it was okay I guess. Kinda lonely. Hbu

[Ggrand]

Hello mg24,

Just thought I would make you a visit and check in with you to see how you're feeling.🙋.

How did your day go today?

I hope you were okay and school wasn't to stressful.

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

[Chloe_M]

Mine was okay I guess... However did practice with my friends band today. That was fun haha

hope tomorrow's better for you

x