I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[HappySheep]

I'm so happy for you Moonstruck. You did it!

Why are happy feelings temporary and we always plummet again?  Because our brains don't work properly (or work too well for anything more recent than keeping us alive in an era of sabretooth tigers). That's why we're all on these forums!

In seriousness, gee I wish I had the answer to that one. I'm struggling with that at the moment. I'm just climbing out of a really bad patch while trying to get things sorted to move house, which is freaking me out. Each day I manage to do what I need to do, have a great win, feel like things are really moving forward - then wake up freaked out again in the morning. Argh!

Well, each win we have is twice as good as an achievement by someone who doesn't have to fight against their own brain to get stuff done.  I do like Croix's idea of a journal of really positive moments, to remind ourselves how good these things can feel.

[Croix]

Dear Happysheep (with a wave to Moon)~

I think sabre-tooth tigers have learned to let sleeping walruses lie, tusk for fang walruses win hands (or flippers) down.

Seriously - I find the same thing some mornings when I have a demanding job that has to be done that day and am reluctant to get up and start, frightened of failure I think. 

The only two things that give me a boost are firstly if I have done it successfully before - (or have someone to help). The second is to use Smiling Mind for a little while until the defeatist thoughts are eased.

Actually there is one other, I"m sure both body and brain have cycles that influence each other, even if the period and influences is greater or less over time. I try to imagine one of those see-saw type water decorations in a Japanese garden (Shishi-Odoshi). A long hollow bamboo  arm pivoted in the center that gradually fills by water falling into it, when full it reaches tipping point and dumps the content with an audible 'clack' , always rising to start again . The frequency controlled by the amount of water flowing -or in the mind the circumstances affecting me.

I find the image restful - funny what people think of

Croix

[HappySheep]

Thanks Croix, I've used Smiling Mind before. It's my favourite.  Good reminder that I'm supposed to be doing meditation as my self-care! I love your visual of the water see-saw, that's definitely what it's like. I guess acceptance of that would save the angst and guilt that I pile on top of myself for feeling anxious! Great advice and much appreciated.

[Moonstruck]

Happy Sheep,, Croix and other friends

Just a quick word, although you deserve more...to let you know I did it!  and it was a brilliant success...I truly did not know I would make it as well as I/we did.  It was sort of a "turning point" for me although so very tiring and at my age my body is not co operating as it did when younger..I was still successful.  I am so relieved. The turning point seems to be. (and I hope it lasts and I can call on the experience when so down in the future)...that I got a glimpse that the "other me". is still there, somewhere, deep down inside.  I thought I had lost "her" forever due to death of partner, loneliness, boredom, ageing body, lack of energy, anxiety etc.   I thought she had gone but was given the gift of proving to myself that she is indeed "still there".  I am so grateful.   I still have my problems, that hasn't changed but knowing "she" is still there and hasn't abandoned me after all has been priceless.   (don't worry I haven't developed a "dual personality" or anything...I hope you understand what I've been trying to convey....).     sending love and some similar healing to you.....x

[quirkywords]

moon

well done.

Even though I have no idea of what you did and what was so tiring I can maybe imagine but probably way off .

I just think it’s wonderful that you’ve started something you’re a bit worried about and you saw it through to the end and it went well so well done .

What an inspirationin

[CMF]

Moon,

So happy & proud of you.

Cmf x

[Moonstruck]

Thanks Quirky.   I know I don't reveal my actual activity (just in case a friend/friends may also be on BB and recognise me..I would hate that.   I will try and give some clues if I can.....let's see....I have done it since a very young person;  it involves working closely with others and we have to be able to depend on each other.  I am clearly seen and evaluated by many onlookers.  There is great pressure , most of it coming from ourselves rather than others who are generally uplifting and encouraging which I am to them also of course as they are also nervous.

everyone involved are breathing sighs of relief and personal satisfaction at our sucess.  When you are in the middle of preparation and then the event....it takes priority over everything and it takes a while to get back to "normal life"........but I have been doing it for so long every now and then, it sort of is "my normal life". and I will soon start missing it and the people with whom you have just shared something special.. Cheers.....Moon S

[CMF]

Dear Moon,

It warms my heart to know you have something that brings you so much joy 😊 

[Croix]

Dear Moon and all~

Well! All these years and I thought your main occupation really was bowling!

Croix (who is easily fooled, then again what do you expect from a walrus)

[Moonstruck]

Croix....very funny.  What makes you think I am not a terrific bowler? Surely you can visualise me in my little white hat and uniform just like the dozens of other lady bowlers who are of course all friends and supportive of each other...no rivalry there, oh no!......(You're terrible Muriel)............Moonstruck,   ( occasionally Starstruck)