I can't find the right place for me to post

[Moonstruck]

I don't know any more where to put a new thread if I make one, or which ones to join in. I always used Anxiety because that is my major condition but that has been relatively under control lately - I feel Depressed today - but I don't qualify for the topics there either. I'm depressed mainly because there doesn't seem a place for me. I love some of the threads and personal thoughts for example in Staying Well, but I can't join in there, because I don't have any tips for Staying Well.

I tend to have almost paranoid thoughts through over-thinking "problems" that I would like to talk over but don't know where to talk them over before they reach the paranoid stage...I want to avoid that. I join in the Social threads saying light hearted jokey things because thats the only place I seem to belong.

I dwell on any problems my adult sons have in various aspects of their life and want to "fix things for them" - our relationship is very loving and close though - they are wonderful to me - so there is no real "problem" with my relationship with them....so I don't seem to belong in the "relationships, family" section either do I?

I worry about them all the time - when I tried to express this on forum I think it was misconstrued that I had "empty nest syndrome" - trying to adapt to my sons' leaving home....No, that's not it...they've been gone for years and years...I am a grandmother.

I liked the Getting to Know You, or is it Me? thread very much - but have been given suggestions how to start my own thread and what section to use etc and get the feeling I'm being steered away from there too.

So I am still confused. I don't feel particularly anxious today, so this shouldn't even be in Anxiety! Do you see my dilemma?

In fact the more I write the more I feel like crying - I don't know where to go next.

[Guest_322]

Hi Moon,

How do you know if you are "taking a leap of faith" or "making a rash decision without thinking it through"???

Wow, that's a huge question.

I think the 2 are more correlated than they seem at first glance. In some ways, aren't they kind of the same thing? Or at least that's what I think.

I suppose the main difference is maybe a leap of faith applies more to chasing personally meaningful pursuits without thinking every minute detail through e.g. upping and quitting your job to try your luck in a foreign country.

Whereas rash decisions might be more to do with risky behaviour that have little to do with creating personal meaning but are more to do with your current mood or a sudden impulse. E.g. suddenly deciding to quit your job purely because you've had one bad day then later regretting it.

Mind you, it's just my 2c. It's all highly debateable of course.

Hope you haven't been in too much pain btw.

Dottie x

[Moonstruck]

thanks Dottie.....the pain has settled down a lot, but still have a slight limp (which possibly others can't even notice) I have an appt with Pilates Physio this afternoon who will put me on an individual program that I hope will strengthen up the areas that need them... to try and avoid doing myself this damage as little as possible in the future.

Perhaps there is a spin off of the Pilates also firming up my belly..hopefully, that'd be good.....have a good day...

[Moonstruck]

I am in a severely anxious state. Multiple things spinning around my head . Can't get relief. Dealing with having to choose new Laptop, Internet connection Plan...which one...how much data usage do I need each month? what brand of computer do I get? Which one is better? What service provider do I go with? what if they try to rip me off? Which Computer Store should I go to?

I am not tech savvy. I cannot understand what the Computer techs are saying. I am trying to make plans and do my research before I leave my current place of work which provides my computer stuff. so I won't be left in the lurch. I wish I could leave now. I hate working for the man I do. He is going broke and if I leave now the business will collapse. He is bleeding me dry. I am afraid of him, afraid to leave. Afraid to be left to sort out all this Tech Computer stuff on my own if I leave. There is no one to help me.

I feel reluctant to stop writing this...because I will just walk round and round in circles. I feel strong urge to ring someone....really strong urge to ring someone and ask for help. But who? Not my kids....it should be the other way round.....They ring ME...when THEY need help. That's how it should be. they have their own lives I don't want to upset them by worrying about a mother in a panic.....No, not my kids.

My sister? No she's elderly and knows nothing about computers....the other one is not well...I can't bother her.

I don't have a relationship at present so have no partner to ring - I wouldn't want a guy to see me like this anyway - he'd think I was a crazy woman. There is no one to ask for help. This is why I keep writing and writing...because I have all this energy...all this anxious adrenalin......sorry...sorry....

[CMF]

Moon,

I am here,i have read your posts. you will be ok. I am going to reply re the computer issue later tonight when little on is in bed ,and work issue but i need to get my daughter somewhere shortly.

It will be ok Moon, i am here and i have heard you. You are not alone.

cmf

[CMF]

Moon i have replied on your other thread. Not sure which stores you have but officeworks are pretty good. I tried jb hifi but found them to tehnical. As far as data its alwYs tricky but you can always change the plan you are on if it doesn't suit. Do a comparison first. If its not enough data it will just run slow. You can ring your provider to check your usage if this happens and they can usually help you make changes.

Nothing wrong with calling your sons. You've brought them up and looked afted them so many years, time to reciprocate.

Cmf x

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Moon,

Have you found a way to work out what you need for your IT?

If not, write back here and let me know what you use the computer for and I can give you some idea on data etc.

I agree with cmf that Officeworks are pretty good at helping choose a laptop. Tell them what you use it for and they should be able to recommend the range that will suit and they have a good variant in pricing too.

Sadly, a lot of real techy people aren't good at speaking in layman terms. If you have any questions on what you have already been told post those too and I will try and help. I worked for an IT company for nearly 20 years and have picked up a thing or 2 and what I don't know hubby will.

Hugs xx

[Moonstruck]

Evening All - as you can see it's a while since I used this thread...or since I started it up. the reason I am on here now is that its title seems apt for me once again. I may as well just stay here on this one I reckon.

You see I have been "trying"to stick to my own current thread, as advised to do, (although I did have a go at joining in the conversation on another...didn't turn out very well it seems)

Mine is titled "over thinking & paranoid thoughts".....But...I don't always feel I am over thinking or having paranoid thoughts..so where can I put down my thoughts in that instance?

I am hoping that anyone at all joins in here....about anything. Don't worry about "veering off the topic"...as you probably can see by how I titled it when I began it.....there really isn't a topic! So have I done the wrong thing again? I'm glad i started up this thread for myself now....I had almost forgotten it was there....it seems the only place I don't have to be hesitant about what I discuss.

Perhaps there is someone sometime....who is doubtful about where to post .....well, come on in....what's on your mind?

[CMF]

Hi Moon,

you have done nothing wrong my friend. Thank you for inviting us all to join in.

How have you been of late? Are you feeling any better at all?

cmf x

[Moonstruck]

Dear CMF... how have you put up with me for so long? Thank you. No I am not myself yet - only feel better when I go to the "bowls club" it raises my spirits, but I have to come home eventually, where the walls are closing in on me. After what happened recently I can't look at certain photos I have around the house, yet can't take them down, put them in a drawer and forget it either.

I've cleansed the place a few times with a sage stick.probably doing it the wrong way Smells very strong, the neighbours probably think I am smoking something -I have no energy here at home.

Still going to Pilates which lets me focus on something else for an hour. Don't want that dreadful pain to come back so badly as it did last time.

On the IT front....I still have so many questions...stupid questions...young people in stores don't realise we of the more mature generation....were not brought up automatically "knowing" how to use a new smartphone, or iPhone, or which type to purchase.

They don't come with "instructions" or a "manual" at all today...so what are non tech-savvy people to do? hand over our money, come home with a UBeaut phone and have no clue which button to push? i was told by an employee "You can come back in with a few questions if you have trouble, but we don't have much time to spend with you" and another said point-blank when an elderly customer asked how to send a text. "Sorry I don't know anything about texting".

I only feel some peace of mind when the sun begins to go down. Darkness is my comfort, the night a safe place for me to retreat, bright sunshine is too harsh, showing up my inadequacies for all to see. People are walking around during the day, free to pick up a phone and intrude upon me.

I like my doors closed if possible. Neighbour in next unit commented on it thinking I was annoyed with her for something "aren't you talking-to me any more...I thought you were avoiding me for some reason". Yes actually I was. I wanted privacy from the world. So I have to open my door now - to make her feel better.

I can't think straight.. My head is muddled. I have too many choices - my life has been thrown up into the air in a huge jumble and allowing to fall where it wants to....I am a bystander. I can't take control of my life any more. Whatever I decide is always wrong. someone may disagree with my choices. I can't allow that to happen otherwise they won't like me any more and may hurt me.

[CMF]

Hi Moon,

Why would I not put up with you? There is nothing to 'put up' with, we are all here for a reason, the same reasons and you are my friend, you have been here for me,so there is no question about 'putting up' with you :-).

I am sorry you are still not yourself. I know what you mean about the photos. If they are painful to look at I guess you could put them away but you do not have to forget about them. Put them somewhere i easy reach so when you are ready you can look back on good times. There will come a day when you can look back and smile on happy memories. You could maybe keep a few small photos around so they are not too prominent and attract your attention but the presence is still there.

I've never cleansed with sage. I have had my house blessed by my parish priest. A cleanse would be good as there is often negativity around here.

When the youth of today make you feel silly for not knowing how to use a smartphone or other IT products just remind them who taught them how to use the bathroom to wipe their bottoms. As a matter of fact, if you purchase a product from them they bloody well should give you the time to answer questions, how rude to not give you that service after you have given them your business.

I too like it the darkness. i don't have to worry about what imes in the mail, the outside world has stopped and i can just sit and don't have to deal with anyone. It is even better if a fave tv show is on.

You don't have to keep your door open to please your neighbour. It is her insecurity about upsetting you that is her problem, not the fact that you close your door.

I feel like a bystander too, hence my name 'Can't Move Forward'. I have choices that i am scared to make. If people do not like your choices that is their problem, you need to live for yourself, not them. I know this too but i am still 'stuck' also.

Your friend

cmf x