how do i stop crying

Matchy69 · ‎30-09-2019

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

Aaronsis · ‎06-10-2020

Hi Mark

I understand what you mean about remembering wedding anniversaries and not really knowing what to do, do you acknowledge it or just let it slip by, I sort of take the lead of how the temperature is between us at the time and if it feels appropriate or not to mention. Weird huh.

Yes I am sad about my cats losing but we have another go although I am not feeling overly confident against Collingwood if I am being honest, we tend to do this, fall down at the last hurdle...sigh

I have just started some sessions with a lady doing some hypnotherapy which is so wonderful and I am really getting so much out of it, I was skeptical at first, but it is proving to be nothing like I expected. I am hoping to get to the core of a lot of my old wounds so I am trying some new things to get there...will keep you updated on that one.

I am thinking about what next for the veggies, they are taking a back seat at the moment and I am not sure that my brussels sprouts are going to produce anything other than flowers...hmmm we will have to see on that one too.

Hope today is a good day for you my friend, off to grab a coffee.

Hugs as always

Sarah xxx

Matchy69 · ‎07-10-2020

Hi Sarah I will be cheering on the cats against the magpies.We don't want the magpies win.Think positive.
I am very interested in your hypnotherapy and am a very skeptical person to and be great to get your insight if it genuin and works.
Only a few more days til I go back to the hospital to see the specialist and see how I am progressing.
I got a weird text from my ex tonight asking if I had a girlfriend so I just text back no.We have been getting on better lately but that can all change quick .I was going to text her something on our wedding anniversary but ended up not.I use to always have a huge surprise for her.I just feel so alone and a failure
You should be getting your summer crop in.Mh garden is just about full.I do have some shalotts ready to harvest and my silverbeet has gone made with the warmer weather.I give a lot of it to the chooks.
They had a meeting at the school about my son today but didn't go as it was a last minute thing .
It is really getting hot here during the day but the nights are cool.I just wish it would rain.
I am off to bed now.
Take care,
Your friend,
Mark.

Matchy69 · ‎07-10-2020

Sarah I was just seeing how you were doing.Its been such a hard year for you losing another loved one especially with all that is going on in the world.I know what a big hole it has left you in your life.I still feel that big hole that my mother's passing has left me and that was seven years ago.I am always here if you need to talk.
Take care,
Your friend,
Mark

Aaronsis · ‎07-10-2020

Hey Mark

You are such a great friend and yes, things have been a bit wonky for me lately with obsessing over suicide, not me taking my life but the worry that all the people in my life will. My brain knows this is not rational but I have been having some panic attacks over it and some fears that my kids will end their lives, even though once again I know this is not true and not rational thinking...hence why I am getting some help.

How on Earth can I be here to talk to others if I am a wreck myself, also it is giving me some new insights to be able to share with others too. I don't want to be one of those people that says "get a cup of tea" knowing full well that does nothing...meaningful help comes when you have done it yourself and can recommend it to another.

I hope the cats get up this week, I am not so confident as we tend to do this .....fall at the last minute..but fingers crossed and I will be watching with anxiety..lol

This year has been pretty crappy for me personally and I do take that on board that I am going through more than I ever have, between last year and this year I have had two years unlike ANYTHING I have ever been through, so there is sure to be some mess to clean up. I am getting there tho and it may take time but I will chip away.

Thank you for your support and I hope that you are doing ok too....weird question from your EX yes....but also not any of her business as long as it does not impact her children.

Hugs to you my friend

Sarah xx

Matchy69 · ‎07-10-2020

Hi Sarah I could sense that you were struggling your self with something.I really care about you and think your an amazing person and supportive and caring.For my self I just want someone to talk to who will listen and genuinely cares like you really do.I don't really need advice just someone genuin to cry on their shoulder and a hug would be nice to.
Big hugs,
Mark

Aaronsis · ‎07-10-2020

Thank you Mark and it is those that really care who notice when you are not good, or as a friend of mine says "when your tail lights aren't working".

I appreciate your support too, and as you say, having someone to listen, someone to chat with, who also knows it is not easy sometimes and understands that that is ok. To have an off day and know that tomorrow will be better..or not..but that there is better days ahead.

I know you don't need advice, mostly alot of us don't, but just a person to say that they care, that they are there for us and to hand us a tissue and to bring chocolate..lol

Thank you for your support and friendship Mark, it makes a huge difference to my day.

Sarah xx

Matchy69 · ‎08-10-2020

Hi Sarah I am thinking of you and hope you have a better day.I am here if you need to talk.
Sending the biggest hugs,
Your friend,
Mark.

Matchy69 · ‎11-10-2020

Sarah I am so pleased that your cats thrashed the magpies.
I hope you are doing better if not I am here if you need to talk.
Take care,
Your friend,
Mark.

Aaronsis · ‎12-10-2020

Hey Mark

Thank you so much for your support and your offer to chat. I have been a little quiet lately and that is just due to taking some time to do some work on me, trying to limit the time that I spend for others to try to take some for myself, which is not easy to do, but I have to fill up my cup to be able to give to others.

I am so super happy that the cats got up over the weekend, what a game, it was unlike anything I have seen from Collingwood, they just were not there, like the wind had gone from their sails....but I am not complaining. I doubt very much if we can win against Brisbane on the weekend but we will see.

How are you going Mark, how are the kids?

I had my daughter's birthday on the weekend so tried to do the best for her while being able to do nothing to celebrate, she was able to see her friend in the park and do some exercise and some of her friends stopped past and left things for her, so that was lovely. I think she had a good birthday.

I don't really have any other news other than just keeping busy with work and trying to get some time in for me, which is nice.

Chat soon my friend

Sarah xxx

Matchy69 · ‎13-10-2020

Hi Sarah that sounds like your daughter had a nice birthday despite the restrictions.I am so happy for you and your cats.Brisbane is going to be tough to beat.I picked a Lions tiger grandfinal weeks ok with the lions getting up on their home ground.
The hospital appointment on Friday didn't go to good.I had to do a test and the first time I did it the comptor shut down and I had to redo it.It showed the surgery isn't working and I will have to redo the test again in a month's time and they want have a another good look inside of me and work out what to do.They were talking about another surgery to fix something that causing me pain from the first surgery.
I hope you are managing ok and that I am here for you.
Take care,
Your friend,
Mark.