how do i get started im so confused

[willdo]

not sure how , were to get involved with the forums. please help

[Aaronsis]

Hey Will

I am glad you liked the cake fails, it is pretty funny and something light and easy to watch.

I am wondering if today you feel like really pushing that "change fear" out the window and choosing to open that box and enjoy the wallet that you were given as a gift??? Dont think about it at all just stand up and open the box and start to put the contents of your old wallet in there..what do you think about that, just totally push yourself right out of the ball park and do something to almost shock you??? I reckon you will feel amazing afterwards? Just a thought!!

The whole set up thing is quite frustrating though I get that, and time consuming but at least it will give you something to focus on and keep your mind busy which is great.

Just a question?? have you used the untying of the knot thing that I told you about yet? I am kind of hoping the answer is no as you perhaps have not had a knot, which would be awesome.

I am off to try to figure out why the battery on my phone is going down so quickly while I am hardly using it and there is nothing open....grrrrr

Chat soon

Sarah

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

How are you, hope all is well,

yesterday afternoon after debi came back from work I had an Anxiety/Panic attack that came out of no where. it really scared me. couldn't deal with it so I took medication . it really sat me back a bit. .

first one I had for weeks and it reminded me that I'm still not well. felt really negative and confused.

i'm very apprehensive and ab=anxious today .

Got the laptop delivered (that was quick), and just as I thought I hate setting it up , but i'm doing to keep me busy. its going to take a while whilst copying my shortcuts, files, prefilled data etc..

not traveling so well.

William

[Aaronsis]

Hi Will

I am so very sorry to hear that you are not feeling so great and that you had the panic/anxiety attack yesterday, I am sure it is really scary and especially when you are making small steps forward. It is all apart of the journey forward though, some times you take many steps forward, as you are doing and then sometimes a few steps back too. I am so sorry though it has left you feeling frightened, that is really hard.

I am wondering what you thought about the 5 steps that I mentioned awhile back and if you think that might work for you at a time when you are having an attack? You have probably even been told about this before so apologies if it is just useless info...

At the time of the attack if you can TRY and I say try as it is easier said than done and I appreciate that:

5 things you can see...look around and even say out loud what they are and take time to notice them.

4 things you can hear....once again you might say them out loud and really listen to what they are.

3 things you can touch..actually touch them and notice what they feel like, the texture.

2 things you can smell....breathe them in and take time to see how those smells make you feel and notice what they are.

1 thing you can taste...enjoy the flavour, the texture, what the thing is and notice how it is making you feel.

Like I said, you have probably tried this so I am sorry if I am stating the obvious, just trying to help on your journey Will.

Be kind to you and these things happen, keep on looking forward my friend, the next moment and the next day and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Sorry if the wallet suggestion impacted you in any way, that was not my intention.

Huge hugs to you Will

Sarah xxxx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

It had nothing to do with the new wallet lol. it just happened like it always does.

i think i was home alone most of the day, tried to keep busy , was anxious but under control, Once Debi came home maybe i relaxed too quickly and it was that time of the day.

Seeing Psychologist tomorrow. I'm going to ask him to concentrate on my OCD only . I have been all over the place with home for 2 years (talk about depression/mood , anxiety, panic attacks, OCD ) . if i can improve one of them perhaps the others will improve as well (with the new medication as well).

I have been trying your 5 things and will try again. It is so hard/virtually impossible to think about anything else with a full blown attack. smaller ones i can now deal with , just the odd one or two.

Thank you

William

[Aaronsis]

Hi again Will

I think that is a really great idea to try to get one phase under control, if that is the right word and work strongly on one area and see if that infact makes a positive impact on even some or one of the other areas. I think that is a really great idea. Hope tomorrow's session is good for you, how to you usually feel when you come home from a session? Tired and exhausted or full of energy? I used to come home quite "full" after a counselling session, then once I purged onto my paper and wrote down my list of things to worry about and consider and checked them off, I then felt this sense of relief and calm, which was great.

I understand at the time of the attack that the "5 things" might be very hard to manage, and it may take practice and mindfulness to achieve when you are in the middle of an episode, I have never had a full on anxiety or panic attack I dont think, I am sure I would know if I did, but I have had moments of "out of control" worry and I don't know what I am worried about, this is when I do this 5 things and it works well for me...so was more just sharing.

I think it is really great though that you can identify why it may of occurred as that is really a very helpful tool , some people don't have that insight so that is very good in that it is power and with power you can perhaps have control.

Have you had some lunch today? I am off to have a bowl of soup..how sad...lol

Chat some more Will

Hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

Hope you enjoyed your entree lunch (bowl of soup).

I lost 12 kilos since October but seem to gain again now that i'm eating a bit more. i don't like meat ,chicken , sea food myself. probably 10% of my food . always been the case just a taste thing.

i managed to set up the laptop enough to start using it. wasn't too bad , just have to keep resetting my password to some sites were i have no idea what is .

With the psychologist i normally walk out a bit positive , determine to do what he says, it only last a day or 2 though then i forget all about it.

i'm so determined this time i booked 5 appointments one each week see if that makes a difference. Debi tags along which i like( if its her day off. )

Have good night

William

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Will

Hope today sees something wonderful for you.

The soup was OKish...this is week 5 of this whole vegan thing so lets just see how long I can solider on for, although it really has been ok.

Great news about the laptop, at least you have it working and can do what you need to on it, I agree, the whole password thing is a challenge, I try to keep the same one, it mostly works and then there are times that I have no clue either...lol

I am so very happy to hear about your appointments Will and I can really get a sense of power and energy and enthusiasm from your message, I hope that having a few sessions in a row will really get you into a great space and can move you through into some really great outcomes. I wish you all my strength and support in these times. I am so glad Debi tags along too, it sounds like that really makes a difference to you when you have her support and her there and that is so awesome. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

Chat some more soon

Hugs

Sarah xx

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

I got up very anxious today, not sure why , maybe thinking of Psychologist appointment

Just came back from appointment. it was ok . i told him i wanted to concentrate on OCD, he explained about the close connection between anxiety and OCD and how both needs to be handled together(in my case). gave me few exercises to do.

Debi was off today so she came along. i feel for her, shes like a machine, shes a cleaner at the hospital and spent all morning cleaning the house on her day off. "She is a wonderful woman" and i don't know how she stayed with me(with my addictions and all the problems it caused and MH). 29 years married on Sunday and 8 years before that as friends. long time.

i just hope and pray that i'll have the strength to do the exercises i was given.

Thank you for caring and your support

William

[Aaronsis]

Hi Will and great to hear that the doctor has a plan for you and has given you some exercises to do. I am sure that they will push you out of your comfort zone but hey, that is part of the journey and pushing and fighting the feeling not to, telling yourself that it is not the truth and that you can, because you can and you are strong Will and you will be able to get through this.

Congratulations on your wedding anniversary for the weekend, that is such an achievement, can I suggest that even though you have had some struggles in life she perhaps really loves you that is why she is here...lol. On a serious note though you obviously are not giving yourself enough credit as I am sure you are contributing to her happiness and she sees how hard you are trying and this is really great and you are very lucky to have such a supportive wife and she too is very lucky to have a wonderful husband. That is perhaps why it is working...well done!

Baby steps and try not to over think your exercise, just stand up and do it...you can Will and I am sending you my strength and support.

Huge hugs

Sarah

[willdo]

Hi Sarah,

How are you? hope all is well.

Bad night but good the same time ! i slept without taking my sleeping medication but woke up on the hour after 1 am. so pretty tired but happy i didn't take the medication.

wondering what today will bring, deb and daughter at home. not much really on .

i made a list of all the things the Psychologist wants me to do, i'll try and tick them all off if i can.

its going to be very hot in Sydney over the next few days (i think you having the heat now in VIC?), need rain desperately, Sydney is on water restriction and all the lawn, gardens are half dead.

Hope you have a great day.

William